3 Reasons Why Gratitude Changes Everything

I firmly believe in the statement above! Why? Here's my take:

#1 - When you look for things in your life to be grateful for, the good seems to multiply. Although I didn't understand it at the time, learning to be aware of what I was truly grateful for on a daily basis was a key element in turning my life around at a very dark time in my past. My friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Holden, expresses it this way: "Before we practice gratitude, we appear to be in the dark with very little to be grateful for. Once we begin, a new light dawns, sometimes a brilliant light, a light as bright as heaven itself." That's exactly how it happened for me. Deep in my heart I'd always believed Love ruled the world even though I wasn't allowing myself to experience that during this rough time. I had read a way to retrain your brain to see the "good" in life was to begin a gratitude practice. And so I began and the result was magic! The more I consciously decided to look for at least three things a day to be thankful for, I experienced - even in challenging times - an awareness of the love and goodness that surround me. All I had to do was open my eyes and heart! #2 - Gratitude is a doorway to the divine.  Nothing has been more humbling than an increased awareness of the divine force that coordinates all the good that is constantly available to me and everyone else.  "Gratitude is a sacred space where you allow and know a force greater than your ego is always at work and always available." - Dr. Wayne Dyer A thankful heart opens you up to accept the divine love that is always available, as Wayne Dyer says in the quote above. Why is that important? Because the energy of that divine love is intelligent, creative and expansive. If it can make the tide go in and out, the flowers bloom and create entire galaxies it can gracefully move you through any life challenge you'll ever experience. Trust that divine love is more powerful than your ego and allow it to guide your actions to experience real love in your life. #3 - Gratitude makes life more fun and fulfilling.  Deciding to live from a grateful heart just makes life more FUN! You feel more satisfied, playful, energized and creative in so many ways. Why? Because love expands all good in your life! This quote from author Melody Beattie explains is well: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." Who doesn't want a happier life with more joy and fulfillment? A consistent daily gratitude practice does that and more. And it doesn't cost a thing. All you need is a willingness to begin. Love does the rest.

The Power of Your Thoughts

This is it. The key to a happier, more fulfilled life. 

YOU hold the power to change your experience in every aspect of your life by changing the way you think about it.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Not your jerk boss, cranky kid or some politician in D.C.

YOU.

Controlling your thoughts doesn’t mean you escape life challenges; it means you are equipped to move through them with more grace and ease. Let me explain.

Recently, an accident occurred that injured a family member. When I first heard the news, I was scared, and my mind went to the worst possible scenario as I waited for the details to slowly emerge. I made an important discovery in the following days:

While we can’t change the trauma, succumbing to drama is optional.

I realized my fearful thoughts did not change the facts or the outcome. Although many saw my fear as “justified,” “natural” and even encouraged legal retribution, none of that helped me feel better or allowed me to lovingly support other family members. 

For me, only one thing helped.

I went back to the Be Love Principles and asked the divine within:

• How can I greet everyone involved with an open heart, without an agenda?

• Show me the divine essence in this situation.

• Teach me how to forgive everyone involved quickly, completely and unconditionally.

• Remind me that everyone is part of the light of All.

I did my best, minute by minute, to be the presence of love and stay in that space as we moved through the situation. I did it for me and my family. It wasn’t easy and, at times, I failed to stay centered in love. It happened whenever I fell back into fear, anger and overwhelm. Once I became aware of those thoughts, I went back to love as quickly as I could. Full disclosure, I wasn’t the most popular with some people who didn’t understand my perspective. They thought I was “naive,” “nuts” or in denial. 

But I remembered the truth. I am responsible for my thoughts and how I react to life. 

Here’s an important point: I allowed myself to feel my feelings as they came up. Feelings that are ignored simply go underground then resurface later. I’ve learned that too! The difference here is that I felt my feelings then consciously decided how I would think about them. I could continue to fuel the fear, or I could choose to be the presence of love, as much as I could, throughout the challenge.

I’m grateful to add our situation has had a much better outcome than I first feared. All is well. And I understand that while Life wil certainly present more tough days in the future, my thoughts will dictate my experience of both life’s joys and sorrows. 

I choose to experience both with love.

P.S. Check out this episode of “Heart-Centered Success with Diane L Haworth” on “The Power of Your Thoughts”  for deeper insights on the topic and for more on the Be Love Principles, visit www.BeLovePrinciples.org. 

Birthdays, Reflections, Letting Go and the Birth of New

This year I did something very special for my April 21^st birthday. In the predawn hours, I drove up to Skyline Drive in the Shenandoah National Park and watched the sunrise over the Shenandoah Valley…and over the next phase of my life. I wanted to meditate there, on my birthday, by myself. Just me, God and the beauty that surrounded me.

It was glorious.

As I was driving the 45 minutes up to my perch, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my life…all of it. Memories of the good, the bad and the ugly chapters flooded back to me as I marveled at the thousands of experiences that make up my lifetime so far.

My birthday fell on Easter this year, like the day I was born, and I took this as a sign. I started asking questions up there on the overlook, watching the sun rays illuminate the valley below.

What am I ready to let go of in my life? What beliefs are no longer serving me? Which stories am I finally ready to release?

I know my thoughts create my reality and wondered what thoughts could still be holding me back at this stage? Time to let them go. For good. Thoughts of lack, limitation, “not enough,” “too old” and “too late” were quickly banished on that mountaintop.

So what now was ready to be born? How could I consciously embrace the truest part of me and live from there? The divine part that knows no limits? The part of me that is only love?

As I sat, overlooking the brightening landscape I said a simple prayer:

“Show me.”

My heart heard the message God whispered in response.

Everyday Miracles

We've likely all experienced what we call a "miracle" in our lives. Someone recovers from a grave illness, the job we wanted comes through or the deadly storm safely passes over our house...all good reasons to celebrate and declare a "miracle" has occurred.

I experienced a miracle today.

My husband and I get up a little after 4am most mornings now. He gets ready and starts his commute by 4:30am. I get up, pack his lunch, give him a kiss and the cat and I start our morning meditation. This morning, I was still a little sleepy and accidentally spilled bright red liquid B12 syrup on his clean beige shirt...less than five minutes before he was to leave for work. 

Oh. My. God.

He's not a "morning" person. He hates to be late for anything, much less his job. He's timed his daily routine so each second is orchestrated to allow maximum sleep and minimal time to get ready before he heads for the car.

And I just screwed up his process. To make matters worse, the only clean shirts were downstairs in the laundry room. I prepared for the well deserved retribution in response to my crime. I certainly would have been upset if the situation was reversed.

That's not what happened. As he saw his stained shirt and heard me gasp, "OMG! I'm so sorry!" he calmed replied, "That's OK."

That's OK???

My husband is a loving man but, again, he's not a morning person and in the past this would have been a HUGE deal for both of us. Guilt, blame, resentment and fear would have all been part of the scene and it would have come from both sides. But not now.

This was my miracle today and it came in two parts.

First, my husband chose not to succumb to the fear of being late. He chose to react in a loving way. My go-to spiritual source, A Course in Miracles says, "Miracles occur naturally as an expression of love." That's what I experienced this morning. An expression of love. 

The second part of my miracle was that I recognized it. I recognized we both have grown and aren't triggered by the same experiences that would have trapped us in a needless spat just a few years ago. My perspective has shifted deeper into love and so has his. Now that's a miracle. An everyday miracle.

While I'd still love to win big bucks with a lottery ticket, I'm not focusing on those types of "miracles" anymore. I'll take an everyday miracle anytime.

The Solution to Chaos

I see my nation and world rife with turmoil, hate and fear. Egos rule and we are all suffering the consequences. My recommendation to the President, Congress (and all of us) is a simple one.

Surrender.

Surrender to love.

Forget political party, stubborn rhetoric and “dug in” positions. Surrender to love. Forgo “saving face,” talking points on the cable news shows and your political legacy. Let your legacy be love.

Love of country, ALL of the country, every man, woman and child, citizen or not.

Love of humanity, regardless of race, nationality, social or economic standing, gender or gender preference.

Let your legacy be love.

Not the soft, warm, fuzzy feeling of love when you hold a puppy. The strong love. The real love that comes not from ego but from the divine wisdom within.

Tap into the love that guides you to make strong and fair decisions for the highest and best of all. Not just your constituents, not your campaign contributors, but for the highest and good of all those living on our shores AND for the good of our neighbors on this planet. Long gone are the days when the impact of our decisions were confined to our boundaries. We need to be loving global citizens. Period.

We are a nation of people living together, held by the glue of love. We love our families, our jobs, our communities…we are a nation that loves. Beyond our current love of wanting to “be right” we have to want to “be love.” We need to remember who we are and what unites us. We want the same things. To be free to love, and be loved. We want to be healthy and happy. We want to “live love.”

So how do we do that? By living the Be Love Principles:

• ·        Greet everyone with an open heart without an agenda
• ·        See the divine in everyone and everything
• ·        Forgive quickly, completely and unconditionally
• ·        Remember you are one with everyone in the light of love

I know many will view this opinion as naive. To you, I have a few questions: How well are current ego-based systems working now? Do you want a nation and world ruled by ego or love? What stance do you think will ensure a bright future for our world?

I say to all who will listen, surrender to love.

#TheBeLovePrinciples    #LessPanicMorePeace   #SurrenderToLove

www.DianeHaworth.com

The Holidays are in FULL SWING...So is the STRESS!

The Thanksgiving turkey is now a faint memory which can only mean one thing…the holidays are ON!

What are you expecting this holiday season?

• Frantic shopping and spending more than you planned?
• Indulging in too much food and drink resulting in extra pounds and lots of guilt? 
• Hectic schedules that only create more stress and feelings of overwhelm?
• Waaay to much time with the friends and relatives who get on your last nerve?

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Of course not! These results usually occur when we forget to go within and ask Love (God, Universe, Spirit) for guidance. Make this year different.You could experience a truly divine holiday with just a little planning and intention. 

Here are a few tips on how to connect to your inner wisdom (divine voice of love) to enjoy the season:

Gift giving: think about the goal of the gift. Is it to reward or recognize an employee or coworker? Show your love to a child? Demonstrate your appreciation to a loved one? Participate in a gift giving party activity? Ask yourself, “what am I trying to show with this gift?” 

Next imagine the recipient, close your eyes, take a deep breath in, relax and simply ask, “show me the perfect gift for ___.” You may get an image, hear an ad for a specific product, get the idea to bake or make your gift, give a charitable donation in their name or offer an experience (dinner, concert, drive in the country) as your present. Take your time and allow the answer to come. This may even take a day or two. Remember you have a choice. You can be overrun by our consumer culture or be guided by love in your gift giving. 

Over indulging: what is it about the holidays that implies you must eat and drink yourself silly? Stop. Set a silent intention before the party or trip to the grocery store. The reminder here is to stay present with how your body feels. Stick to your drink limit and be aware when you feel full. If you’re going to be in a social situation for a few hours, simply pace yourself. Say no to offers of additional drinks and food that you know makes you feel uncomfortable afterwards. It’s OK to politely refuse to indulge when you know you’ve had enough. At the grocery store stick to your list and when that all too tempting goodie appears at the end of the aisle (like you know it will) ask yourself, “do I really want this or am I just responding to clever product placement?” Feel your answer. Act accordingly.

Hectic schedules leading to stress and overwhelm: here’s the BIG SECRET everyone forgets about holiday schedules. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR SCHEDULE. Yes, I know you simply must make it to the neighbor’s party and it’s on the same day as that work thing which is right after the school play…guess what? The way to truly enjoy the holidays is to be more intentional about what you do and where you go. Period. Yes, that means you could SKIP some of those events! How do you decide? Tap into your inner wisdom and ask, “Which activities will bring me joy and allow me to bring joy to others?” It’s that easy. Of course, you want to attend a child’s play and see your beloved Aunt Elna and Uncle Bill for brunch but be more discerning about where and why you choose activities. Ask Love to help you! Think of it this way. Is it more important to attend more activities and feel resentful and stressed or fewer events that you truly enjoy? It’s an easy choice if you let it be.

Waaay too much time with friends and relatives who get on your last nerve: Love’s got you covered here as well! You probably know which people tend to trigger you. Before you interact with them, ask Love questions like, “How can I see ____ differently? Show me the lesson here? How can I be more at peace with this relationship?” A few days before that big, uncomfortable holiday family event you could sit quietly, go within and journal the responses you get to your questions. Above all, go into these situations with a loving attitude and intention to enjoy yourself.

Now this doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Just a few more tips to help this holiday be your best:

• Remember to get enough rest, stay hydrated and eat your veggies! Yes, have some of the holiday stuff but don’t forget the basics of self care.
• If you don’t think you have time to meditate, that’s a sure sign to double your efforts! This is a practice that will not only help you feel more connected to the divine within, but you’ll feel connected to the meaning of the season and to your loved ones even more.
• Give yourself a break. Forgive yourself and others when things don’t go the way you planned. Allow the divine to come into to every situation and look for the love there.

Now go forth and enjoy the next few weeks! When you feel unsure, stuck or at a loss remember to go within and ask, “Love, what do you want me to know here?”

From Caterpillar to Butterfly...

Have you ever felt…stuck? Totally, utterly and without a doubt stuck?

Not much energy.

Waiting. 

Waiting. 

And no clue what you’re waiting for? That was me these past few months.

I felt like a caterpillar in a cocoon. It felt dark, scary and very mysterious. And not mysterious in a cool way. Mysterious in a “what the hell is happening” kind of way. I had a dim feeling like something great could be happening, but no idea what it could be. 

And it wasn’t comfortable. Not even a little bit. I didn’t feel settled inside the cocoon. As the weeks dragged on, I had a feeling of distant hope and maybe, just maybe, even trust that something deep within me knew what was going on. 

But I wasn't going to submit quietly. Oh no, I wasn't going to make this easy! I resisted. My ego fought the changes that I felt were coming.

What did I do?

I stopped resisting the “stuck.”

I surrendered to the process. I settled into the stillness. I asked for help. I waited some more. 

During the long weeks in my dark cocoon, I turned inward and sought guidance from my inner wisdom. I immersed myself in spiritual teachings, meditated and listened to hours of personal development lectures. 

I imagined, just like the caterpillar, that while I didn’t fully understand the transformation taking place, I would eventually emerge better for the experience. After many fights with my ego, I learned to trust that everything was for my highest and best. 

Then, one day. I felt a shift.

I realized I was out of my cocoon!

I’m experiencing a new clarity…about everything. I feel refreshed, happy, on purpose and more excited about my work than I’ve been in years.

The best part? I really like my new wings.

The Cowgirl Ballerina Teacher Nurse Me

Yep, that’s me. Diane Lynn Haworth, daughter of Stan and Mildred (aka “Pete”) Haworth, of Warrenton, Virginia around age four and a half. At this young age, I remember being very confident and feeling I had my life all figured out.

I knew exactly what I wanted and was well on the way to becoming a cowgirl ballerina teacher nurse. That was my plan. I would obviously marry a prince, live in a castle and have many babies.

And live happily ever after….

I’m so glad I didn’t know what life would really bring. At this tender age I hadn’t yet begun to doubt my direction or come under the paralyzing self judgement of adolescence. I was still a happy spirit, freely exploring the world.

So glad I didn’t know then that:

• my childhood would be rocked by my parent’s constant health issues which plagued them the rest of their lives
• I’d face many challenging years as a working mom when a record number of  women started to change the face of the American workforce
• it would take three tries to find my prince…and I never lived in a castle
• I’d be plagued by fertility issues and weight problems throughout my life
• I’d experience years of abuse, fear, loneliness and overwhelm

I’m glad I didn’t know all that then. I understand now that a crucial part of our life is the way we learn to navigate the boulders on our path. The truths we discover about ourselves and our world are the treasures of a life lived through challenge. We constantly face hurdles and either keep creating the same obstacles throughout life, or find a way around, through or over them.

I’m also glad I didn’t know that:

• my kids would be my biggest joy in life and that every day with them as children, and now as adults, presents me with new opportunities for ever deepening love and happiness
• that the pain in my marriages ultimately gave me the biggest opportunity for deep, soul growth and I’m genuinely grateful for the men who were my teachers
• dealing with my parents’ ongoing health issues led to critical life lessons in patience, compassion and surrender
• accepting my body and the aging process is a rewarding journey when the gifts of the experience are embraced
• the work I love to do, spiritual life coaching, didn’t even exist when I was a kid
• love really is the answer to every life problem

I’m glad I didn’t know the twists and turns my life would take. My experiences are often clouded by what I expect to be “easy” or “hard,” “good” or “bad” ones. Not knowing allows reactions to be more real, the lessons can be learned at a deeper level and genuine joy can be even more expansive.

Now at age 60, I feel more like that little four and a half year old girl than I ever have. With my eyes and heart wide open, I believe I can do anything. Not because I don’t understand how life works, but because I do…or I’m at least starting to.

There’s time to be a cowgirl ballerina teacher nurse if I want to…I’m open to the surprises yet to come.

My Messy Bits

I set my intention to live love. I really do. I want to be fair, loving, supportive and all things good and true. My life just doesn’t always work out that way.

I love to read British blogger Hollie Holden, who also strives to be an example of love as she raises her young children and runs a busy household. In “Hollie Holden’s Notes on Living and Loving” on Facebook, she not only gives her unique perspective on daily life, she does something very brave. She shares the “messy bits.” She shares the days her house is a wreck, describes sticky spills all over the kitchen floor, the days she’s too harsh with herself and even the massive crack in the wall that needs to be fixed. Regular life stuff. But the stuff we seldom post on social media amid our positive quotes and beautiful vacation photos. Recently, she did something radical.

She wrote, “Wouldn't Facebook be more interesting if it were called realbook? ‪ #‎lessphotosofkaleandmountaintopyogaposes ‪#‎morephotosofthemessybits #‎whatlifeactuallylookslike ‪#‎weareallinthistogether”

WOW. She’s gutsy. I love how honest she is when describing the “ups” and “downs” of life. I find it refreshing and helpful. But could I do that? Could I share my messy bits? I’ve shared some, but I’m private and most of my messy bits stay deep under cover.

I decided to give it a go.

In the last month: I broke a tooth and got my first crown, had mild food poisoning, found a six foot black snake in my house (two feet from my face when I was on the floor looking under the couch), lived through an “unexpected appliance death” and had to buy a new washer and dryer, had my 25 year old son recuperating at our house for five days after having four impacted wisdom teeth removed, whined to my sister that I feel stuck and really don’t know what hell I’m doing, forgot to meditate a few days and was mad at myself for needing to wear my “fat jeans.”

There. I’ve said it.

Now I know how the Wizard of Oz felt when Toto pulled back the curtain.

I don’t like it.

I don’t like showing my vulnerable side. It’s not that I want to hide that I’m, um, human…it’s that when life gets crazy, I do my best to see past the messy bits. And that’s what I want to focus on.

I look to see what I have to be grateful for in each situation. I do my best to accept any lessons or new learning opportunities that are presented. I notice what my triggers are so I can move past them. I strive to allow love to guide my reactions. That’s my intent anyway.

OK, that didn’t work out too well with the snake thing. I screamed. A lot. My brave husband did catch the snake and return it unharmed to the woods outside our house. He did that out of love for me. And because he was afraid I was going to have a heart attack.

When I calmed down, guess what I discovered about seeing a snake? According to several spiritual texts, snakes are a symbol of rebirth, new beginnings and healing. Hmmm. Not a bad sign if it hadn’t been real and in my face. Maybe I need to spend a bit more time experiencing the messy bits, to fully understand what wisdom is there for me? Maybe by acknowledging and sitting in the mess, the real treasure of it is revealed. Thanks to people like Hollie, I’m a bit more comfortable exposing my messes.

I‘ve gained new perspectives from each of the little challenges I’ve shared here and for that, I am grateful. Even for the snake. DISCLAIMER: I’m still hard at work on being grateful for the fat jeans.

Here’s to celebrating all of life, every beautiful little messy bit.

“Who am I?” The answer revealed!

“Who am I?” is a question that comes to my mind often whenever I think about developing a new business service, want to write a blog or even just spread my wings a bit.

I really do wonder.

Who am I to think someone’s interested in what I have to say? Who am I to stand up and teach anything to anybody? Who am I to write a book? Who am I to offer life advice when I don’t have my own life totally together?

My girlfriend and I met for lunch this week and in the midst of telling me about an exciting new venture she’s undertaking, her fear snuck in. She stopped talking for a minute. She shook her head gently side to side and looked straight into my eyes.

“Who do I think I am I to do this?” she said.

“There’s only one response to the question “Who am I?” I said meeting her eyes. “You are a Divine child of God. A child of God can do anything.”

The words just rolled off my tongue.

I have every confidence in my beautiful friend. She’s brilliant, has a huge capacity to see the truth in any situation and most of all, she’s a living example of someone who chooses to live a life of love. Of course she’s not perfect, but she is an inspiration to me and an example of the embodiment of love.

I absolutely believe what I said. Although the words came out of my mouth, they didn’t come from me. The words came through me.

The only true response to the question “Who am I?” is “a Divine child of God.” I know it’s true for my friend.

Now I just have to allow myself to believe it’s true of me too.