Happy New Year! Welcome 2020 and How to Move Forward in Love

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   

                    
This is what I call the "twilight time." The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. It's a great opportunity to reflect on the past twelve months and bring your best energy into the year ahead. Take a few minutes to try these three simple exercises to bless 2019 and welcome in 2020.

1)  Make a list of at least 10 people/events/ideas that you are truly grateful for from 2019. While many people will spend hours creating lists of what they want to release from the past year, few remember to note the amazing things they experienced individually, as a family or as a community. What would be on your list? New job? Did you read a life changing book? Did your sports team win a national championship? (GO NATS!) Did you meet a new friend or take a great day trip? Even when we experience trauma, there's always something to be grateful for. Start your 2019 gratitude list now.

2) Make a list of your major positive life lessons or shifts from 2019. This is different from your gratitude list. For example, I am deeply grateful I was introduced to the work of Lynne McTaggart last year. From that, I gained a major life lesson in the collective power of intention...and that's been life changing for me. (More about that in the new year!) Make sense? Life lessons could include understanding the grief process, realizing how to shift your thoughts to create your mood or anything else that helped you see your world with new understanding. It's those "aha!" moments. Take a few minutes to remember those now.

3) Reach out and thank people who helped, supported and loved you through last year.  Did an individual, organization or group make a difference for you in 2019? Send an email or text, write a letter (use a pen and paper and mail it the old fashioned way), post on social media or call and let them know their efforts were noted and appreciated. Whether it's a close family member or an author you never met, take the time to let them know they made a positive difference in your life.

I'm all for release rituals and other ways to close out the year AND I believe strongly in bringing the energy of gratitude and love into the next year. I hope you take a few minutes to think about your 2019 and do one or all of these exercises above to move forward in 2020 with love.

I deeply appreciate each of you! 

3 Reasons Why Gratitude Changes Everything

I firmly believe in the statement above! Why? Here's my take:

#1 - When you look for things in your life to be grateful for, the good seems to multiply. Although I didn't understand it at the time, learning to be aware of what I was truly grateful for on a daily basis was a key element in turning my life around at a very dark time in my past. My friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Holden, expresses it this way: "Before we practice gratitude, we appear to be in the dark with very little to be grateful for. Once we begin, a new light dawns, sometimes a brilliant light, a light as bright as heaven itself." That's exactly how it happened for me. Deep in my heart I'd always believed Love ruled the world even though I wasn't allowing myself to experience that during this rough time. I had read a way to retrain your brain to see the "good" in life was to begin a gratitude practice. And so I began and the result was magic! The more I consciously decided to look for at least three things a day to be thankful for, I experienced - even in challenging times - an awareness of the love and goodness that surround me. All I had to do was open my eyes and heart! #2 - Gratitude is a doorway to the divine.  Nothing has been more humbling than an increased awareness of the divine force that coordinates all the good that is constantly available to me and everyone else.  "Gratitude is a sacred space where you allow and know a force greater than your ego is always at work and always available." - Dr. Wayne Dyer A thankful heart opens you up to accept the divine love that is always available, as Wayne Dyer says in the quote above. Why is that important? Because the energy of that divine love is intelligent, creative and expansive. If it can make the tide go in and out, the flowers bloom and create entire galaxies it can gracefully move you through any life challenge you'll ever experience. Trust that divine love is more powerful than your ego and allow it to guide your actions to experience real love in your life. #3 - Gratitude makes life more fun and fulfilling.  Deciding to live from a grateful heart just makes life more FUN! You feel more satisfied, playful, energized and creative in so many ways. Why? Because love expands all good in your life! This quote from author Melody Beattie explains is well: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." Who doesn't want a happier life with more joy and fulfillment? A consistent daily gratitude practice does that and more. And it doesn't cost a thing. All you need is a willingness to begin. Love does the rest.

What I’m Grateful for NOW

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite time of the year. No. Question. Some people think that’s kinda weird, since I’m a vegetarian, but it’s not about the food for me. 

It’s all about the gratitude. 

I love gratitude lists, gratitude journals, TV shows about gratitude, magazine articles, blogs…you get the idea. I even published an eBook earlier this year, “Living from a Grateful Heart: 10 Gratitude Practices for Individuals, Families and Groups,” to share some of my favorite ways to say “thank you.”

This year is no different. I feel blessed and full of gratitude. In the past 12 months I’ve made new friends, blossomed as a member of a spiritual mastermind group, watched my beautiful grandson grow, experienced spiritual growth when I least expected it, started new projects and continued to love and be loved by my family and friends.

To be honest, this year hasn’t all been easy.  Like many of you, it’s been a year of ups and downs. I have to admit the “downs” seemed more plentiful at times, especially when I worried about loved ones in the path of hurricanes or wild fires, supported others through unspeakable trauma, felt the all too familiar pain of mass shootings and lived through a particularly intense election cycle.

Through it all, I remembered one truth. Gratitude is the doorway to love. To my mind, no drama, trauma, challenge or chaos can triumph over love. When the world seems dark, I do my best to remember the light of love. 

When I sit down at our family Thanksgiving dinner this year, I’ll be grateful for these five truths:

1) No matter what happens in my family, community or the world at large, I know I’m in control of my thoughts and how I choose to react. I can choose love or fear. I choose love.

2) While I often see what’s wrong in the world, I know there’s more light than dark.  I see the legions of neighbors helping each other during natural disasters, organized meditation and prayer groups that have been scientifically proven to positively effect mass behavior and the kindness of strangers. I see love at work in the world. 

3) I am not my circumstances. I am, like you, the essence of the divine in human form.

4) The more I am grateful, the more I have to be grateful for. I absolutely know that sincere gratitude expands exponentially.

5) I am grateful to know that God, Universe, Source Energy – whatever you want to call it – is at work in my life and in the world calling us all to expand even more into the love we are at our core.

I’ll continue to practice gratitude and marvel in the many gifts that are constantly presented to me, even in the darkest times.

I’m grateful to each of you and wish you a most beautiful Thanksgiving. May the spirit of true gratitude live in our hearts throughout the year.

Happy "Giving Tuesday"

I love the idea of “Giving Tuesday” here in the United States. It’s a day where emphasis is placed on donating to worthy causes and is a delightful break from the commercial spending frenzy our country celebrates on “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday.” I like the idea of “Giving Tuesday” because, for me, it’s a way to practice love in action.

Donations take many forms. Money, time, resources, ideas, food, support and even a smile are all worthy offerings when given from a loving heart. I firmly believe it’s not the amount, but the sincerity of the gift that matters most. There’s something magical that occurs when love is infused into any gift. It’s the type of love that gives freely without expectation of anything in return. I’ve seen that when this occurs, amazing things happen. Miracles appear “out of nowhere.”  And often it’s for both the giver and receiver.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer suggested we give something away every day and one of my personal goals is to follow his example. Some days it’s easy, some days not so much. I find I can always, always give something to an individual or organization when I set my intention to do so. For me, “Giving Tuesday” is a reminder to step out of my comfort zone and give in a new way.

Whether you read this on “Giving Tuesday” or just an ordinary Friday night…give. Find an organization carrying out work you believe in and give what you can. Donate to the local food bank. Support your homeless shelter, an environmental or animal rights group. Be a fire department or rescue squad volunteer. Read to the elderly. Give a ride to someone in need. Share a smile. Share your heart.

And remember to always give what’s most important….give thanks.

Super Powers? Yeah, SUPER POWERS!

                                                                           Bigstock.com

A beautiful five year old boy named Christopher, looks his dad in the eye each morning and gives him the same instruction, “Remember your super powers today, Daddy!” Then off he goes to school.

Super powers? What in the world could this little fellow be referring to? Could he believe his dad has fantastic strength like Superman or a super intellect like Batman? Maybe. Could he be thinking of x-ray vision or the ability to fly? Probably not.

When I think of this dad, Robert, I think of his steady presence, kindness, wisdom and quick wit. Every time I’ve seen him, he’s appeared patient, curious, caring and genuinely interested in others.

Ohhh, now I get it! I understand his “super powers.”

Robert lives from Love.

To my mind, that’s more powerful than x-ray vision, flying and super strength combined! Just think what “powers” and benefits come with the ability to live from Love:

     · Forgiveness – forgiving yourself and others for past issues results in freedom from anger, frustration, victimhood and disease.

     · Trust – releases you from constant worry about the future and relieves you of the self-inflicted responsibility of controlling all aspects (and people) in your world.

     · Gratitude – energetically, when you feel truly thankful for anything in your life, you allow more good to flow to you. The result? You have more to be grateful for.

     · Presence – be in the NOW to experience life with a fresh, untainted perspective. New possibilities will emerge, challenges diminish and you’ll be more aware of the sweetness of life when you’re more fully in the moment.

     · Acceptance of others – learning to see individuals as unique expressions of Divine Love frees you from judgement of yourself and others. Do all problems disappear? Nope. But they get better when approached with understanding, respect and love.

     · Joy – my favorite super power! Keeping fear, overwhelm and judgement under control by tapping into the super powers mentioned above, energetically creates space in your life for play, peace, happiness and joy.

Do I think we’ll all have a perfect life if we choose to live from Love? No. But I believe the way we move through pain, sadness and grief will be significantly changed the more we experience life through the filter of Love.

Can we live from Love every minute of our lives? That’s my intention! Sometimes I fall short. Very short. When I don’t feel I’ve been as loving as I could, I forgive myself and keep going forward.

Thanks, Christopher, for reminding me that we all enjoy a fantastic life when we allow ourselves to live from Love.

Now that I’ve remembered my own super powers, I’m off to have fun. I’m going to play. Be silly. Feel free. And create even more to be grateful for while I live this life to the fullest.

Mishap or Miracle? It Could Just Be Perspective.

I love the way little vignettes in our everyday life can teach us the most powerful lessons. That’s what happened this past weekend when my brother Bill and I accompanied our sister Kathy on an overnight trip to Virginia Beach to celebrate her birthday.

We realized on the four hour drive down, this was the first time in decades that the three of us had been on a trip by ourselves without spouses, parents or children in tow. We reminisced about childhood vacations and reflected on our adult children and the life paths they’ve chosen. We shared secrets, insights and dreams for the future. We had a blast!

The past few years we’d been connected by the constant issues with our parent’s failing health. Now that those challenges were behind us, we deeply reconnected as siblings, and as friends who respect and love each other. It was a beautiful gift my sister gave us when she asked us to join her on this trip. I didn’t realize another gift was coming later in the day.

We met Bill’s son and his new bride at the Virginia Beach Aquarium (they live in the area) and had a beautiful day exploring the exhibits together. Although it was the end of March, the weather was cold and a bitter wind blew all day. The unusual temperatures couldn’t dampen our spirits, however, and we parted so we could check into our hotel then regroup with my nephew and his wife for dinner. That’s when my lesson arrived.

Bill, Kathy and I had been complaining all day about the unseasonable cold as we darted back and forth to the car. On the way to the restaurant in the late afternoon, Bill and Kathy were chatting in the front seat checking direction when I noticed something weird outside. It was snowing. It was very lightly snowing. IT WAS SNOWING ON MARCH 28TH IN VIRGINIA BEACH! Ok, it was flurries, but it was snow.

Quick to alert my siblings, I blurted out, “CRAP! It’s snowing! I can’t believe after the winter we’ve had we’re getting snow flurries here!” I might have sounded a tad dramatic, but I was weary from the months of snow we’d already endured this year.

“Oh…wow!” my sister gasped. “Snow on my birthday at the beach - it’s the perfect gift!”

Whaat? Was she nuts? How could Kathy think this was the perfect birthday gift? Then I got it.

My darling sister is much better than I am at embracing the unexpected. What I saw as a tragic mishap of nature, something I hadn’t expected on a spring beach trip, she saw as a miracle.

She saw magic in watching delicate flakes of snow dancing in the March wind against the backdrop of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. She celebrated the unexpected. She saw it as a gift, and delighted in it. She chose to see the snow as an “unexpected magical miracle.” As quickly as it began, the snow ended and Kathy enjoyed every minute of it.

“How much different would my life be if I choose to embrace the unexpected? If I look for the miracles in scenarios I can’t change?” I wondered to myself. “Wow,” I thought as I began to fully appreciate the ramifications of that slight change in perspective.

I was already grateful for this trip with my brother, sister and family on this special weekend. I hadn’t expected the gift of such an impactful life lesson.

Hmmm…just another one of the million things I thank my sister for.

The Gift of Gratitude

My family came to our house for Thanksgiving this year and I wanted to make the day special. Certainly there’d be plenty of food, fun and football…but I wanted more. I wanted each person to take home a gift of gratitude. Here’s what I did.

As my unsuspecting family members arrived, they saw a table with small jars each tied with glittering ribbon and a tag with phrases like “Kudos for Kyle,” “Everyone Loves Evan” and “Thankful for Stephanie.” There was one jar for everyone in attendance, twelve in all. One by one, we each wrote a short personal note of gratitude to each individual person at the dinner and put the note in their jar. I’d love to be able to tell you that everyone embraced my plan and poured their heart out onto the little slips of colored paper I’d provided. Not the case.

I had to explain the concept several times as I endured a few deep sighs and weird looks. My family is used to me though.  As they stared at me with blank expressions, I again explained the notes were to express love, gratitude or appreciation and hopefully in a way that had never been expressed before. The consensus seemed to be I was making them work for their dinner. I was.

After a few more groans, the writing began. I heard some giggles and laughter soon followed. “Nobody has to do homework before dinner when they come to my house” my brother chuckled as he stuffed a note into my jar. Some notes were signed, some not. After a while, each jar was filled with notes of gratitude, appreciation and love.

Yes, we had turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving. The vegetarians had a lovely quinoa salad and enjoyed the Brussel sprouts. We all had fun being together but the real magic of the day came when each person collected their gratitude jar and read the messages inside.

Want to make a lasting memory for your friends and family this holiday? Use your imagination and create your own gifts of gratitude.