It Starts with YOU!

Oh, how I wish it wasn't true.

I wish I could take a magic pill and POOF! All the positive change I want in my life suddenly manifests. Yeah, I wish it worked like that.

After decades of searching, I am confident there is no magic pill. Bummer.

There is good news, however. What I discovered and have verified time after time, over nearly 30 years of studying mind, body and spirit, is that the power to make healthy change exists in each one of us. It's in me and it's in you. The message is clear. If you want to change anything in your life, it starts with you.

Want greater physical health? It starts with you. Financial stability? It starts with you. Want more joy and happiness in your life? It starts with you. Want better relationships? It starts with you.

This last realization was a real eye opener since I had held on to the belief that others in my life just needed to straighten up. Nope. The quality of my relationships, and everything else, start with how I think about them. My thoughts lead to my actions and how I interpret the actions of others.

That's right. The power to change starts with you and your willingness to think differently. I love this quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer:

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

So what are you willing to see differently? What change do you want to see in your life in the next year? Remember the good news...it starts with you.

Oh, SHIFT!

This is a photo of me last week on beautiful Hilton Head Island, SC, walking on the pier outside the condo my husband and I called home for a few days. Our trip was sunny, hot and filled with adventures to new restaurants and visits to familiar places we've loved on past vacations here.

After a very busy few weeks for me, I realized this trip gave me an important...shift. A shift in perspective. I love the mountains. My heart swells every time I drive the curvy roads at home, pop a hill and get a glimpse of my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I love their strength, beauty and the idea that they've witnessed so many generations of life in our area.

My husband loves the beach. We went to Hilton Head to celebrate his birthday and I decided to use the first principle of my Be Love Principles during the week to help adjust to my temporary beach environment. That one says "Greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda." And I did my best to do just that.

I opened my heart to every person we met at the condo complex where we stayed, each salesperson and waitstaff we encountered and anyone we met on our travels. And I didn't stop there.

I greeted the ocean with an open heart. The tiny crabs we saw scurrying along the beach, the noisy seagulls, the hundreds of colorful butterflies and thousands of blooming flowers were all greeted with an open heart.

So were the mosquitoes that bit me, that driver who flipped me the finger after I may, or may not, have accidentally cut him off on the highway and the skin rash on my face that wouldn't go away. I did my best to greet everyone and everything with an open heart, without an agenda.

To me, "without an agenda" means without expectation or attachment. Not always easy to do, but I've been working on this for a while now. And I see the results.

When I'm able to "greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda" I'm genuinely happier, more peaceful and free from the stress and worry I've experience for much of my life. I could even see the actions of my dear husband that would have normally "triggered" me, didn't have the usual effect. WTF? (That stands for "well that's funny" in case you didn't know.)

I realized I've experienced an authentic shift in perspective. And I like it!

So what is the shift? Think of it as seeing from a slightly different angle. That's all it takes to see things with a fresh perspective. On the second day of a recent workshop I was facilitating, I had the participants stand up, shift four chairs over to their left and sit down. You should have seen their faces! Several mentioned parts of the room, outside view or desk area they hadn't noticed before. Each was a little more awake, aware of where they were in the room. Just that little shift had changed their perspective.

For me the shift has allowed me to more clearly see my life and everything in it. It's an increasing awareness, at the heart level, of the divine love in everything. EVERYTHING. I've intellectually known this concept for years, but practicing this principle has brought my understanding to a true mind-body-spirit level. Amazing.

 So how will you shift to create a life you can love even more? I guarantee your investment in time and effort are well worthwhile. Check out some ideas here on my Be Love Principles website.

I'll see you on the beach...

Mishap or Miracle? It Could Just Be Perspective.

I love the way little vignettes in our everyday life can teach us the most powerful lessons. That’s what happened this past weekend when my brother Bill and I accompanied our sister Kathy on an overnight trip to Virginia Beach to celebrate her birthday.

We realized on the four hour drive down, this was the first time in decades that the three of us had been on a trip by ourselves without spouses, parents or children in tow. We reminisced about childhood vacations and reflected on our adult children and the life paths they’ve chosen. We shared secrets, insights and dreams for the future. We had a blast!

The past few years we’d been connected by the constant issues with our parent’s failing health. Now that those challenges were behind us, we deeply reconnected as siblings, and as friends who respect and love each other. It was a beautiful gift my sister gave us when she asked us to join her on this trip. I didn’t realize another gift was coming later in the day.

We met Bill’s son and his new bride at the Virginia Beach Aquarium (they live in the area) and had a beautiful day exploring the exhibits together. Although it was the end of March, the weather was cold and a bitter wind blew all day. The unusual temperatures couldn’t dampen our spirits, however, and we parted so we could check into our hotel then regroup with my nephew and his wife for dinner. That’s when my lesson arrived.

Bill, Kathy and I had been complaining all day about the unseasonable cold as we darted back and forth to the car. On the way to the restaurant in the late afternoon, Bill and Kathy were chatting in the front seat checking direction when I noticed something weird outside. It was snowing. It was very lightly snowing. IT WAS SNOWING ON MARCH 28TH IN VIRGINIA BEACH! Ok, it was flurries, but it was snow.

Quick to alert my siblings, I blurted out, “CRAP! It’s snowing! I can’t believe after the winter we’ve had we’re getting snow flurries here!” I might have sounded a tad dramatic, but I was weary from the months of snow we’d already endured this year.

“Oh…wow!” my sister gasped. “Snow on my birthday at the beach - it’s the perfect gift!”

Whaat? Was she nuts? How could Kathy think this was the perfect birthday gift? Then I got it.

My darling sister is much better than I am at embracing the unexpected. What I saw as a tragic mishap of nature, something I hadn’t expected on a spring beach trip, she saw as a miracle.

She saw magic in watching delicate flakes of snow dancing in the March wind against the backdrop of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. She celebrated the unexpected. She saw it as a gift, and delighted in it. She chose to see the snow as an “unexpected magical miracle.” As quickly as it began, the snow ended and Kathy enjoyed every minute of it.

“How much different would my life be if I choose to embrace the unexpected? If I look for the miracles in scenarios I can’t change?” I wondered to myself. “Wow,” I thought as I began to fully appreciate the ramifications of that slight change in perspective.

I was already grateful for this trip with my brother, sister and family on this special weekend. I hadn’t expected the gift of such an impactful life lesson.

Hmmm…just another one of the million things I thank my sister for.