Happy New Year! Welcome 2020 and How to Move Forward in Love

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   

                    
This is what I call the "twilight time." The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. It's a great opportunity to reflect on the past twelve months and bring your best energy into the year ahead. Take a few minutes to try these three simple exercises to bless 2019 and welcome in 2020.

1)  Make a list of at least 10 people/events/ideas that you are truly grateful for from 2019. While many people will spend hours creating lists of what they want to release from the past year, few remember to note the amazing things they experienced individually, as a family or as a community. What would be on your list? New job? Did you read a life changing book? Did your sports team win a national championship? (GO NATS!) Did you meet a new friend or take a great day trip? Even when we experience trauma, there's always something to be grateful for. Start your 2019 gratitude list now.

2) Make a list of your major positive life lessons or shifts from 2019. This is different from your gratitude list. For example, I am deeply grateful I was introduced to the work of Lynne McTaggart last year. From that, I gained a major life lesson in the collective power of intention...and that's been life changing for me. (More about that in the new year!) Make sense? Life lessons could include understanding the grief process, realizing how to shift your thoughts to create your mood or anything else that helped you see your world with new understanding. It's those "aha!" moments. Take a few minutes to remember those now.

3) Reach out and thank people who helped, supported and loved you through last year.  Did an individual, organization or group make a difference for you in 2019? Send an email or text, write a letter (use a pen and paper and mail it the old fashioned way), post on social media or call and let them know their efforts were noted and appreciated. Whether it's a close family member or an author you never met, take the time to let them know they made a positive difference in your life.

I'm all for release rituals and other ways to close out the year AND I believe strongly in bringing the energy of gratitude and love into the next year. I hope you take a few minutes to think about your 2019 and do one or all of these exercises above to move forward in 2020 with love.

I deeply appreciate each of you! 

Buying Gifts, Being Present and Losing My Car in the Parking Lot

It happened. AGAIN.

Recently I rushed into a local store to grab one more gift, which I found quickly. “YES!” I thought as I ran out the door, ready to jump in my car and head to the office. Then it happened. Again.

I realized I had been so focused on maximizing my time and locating this last item, that I had completely forgotten where I parked! Yeah, it sounds funny. Come June I may be able to laugh about it, but as I aimlessly wandered the parking lot, it was a windy 25-degree day. Not. Fun.

Between my momentary panic and the chill, at least I was wide awake! (I figured that was a plus.)

Here’s what I learned, or I should say, remembered. As much as we all want to enjoy the holidays, we miss out when we’re not fully present. As I reached my car and started to drive away, I wondered who did I miss seeing because I was so preoccupied? Did I walk past an old friend or neighbor and miss my chance to offer a holiday hug? I know I missed fully connecting with the salesperson who cheerfully helped me. Then I began to wonder if, in my haste to check off one more thing from my “to do list,” did I even miss infusing real love, thought and meaning into the gift I purchased?

It was a lot to think about.

And a good reminder for me to be more present, even in the craziness of the holidays. When I do remember, I always enjoy a more meaningful celebration of family, friends and a happier experience of the season.

Now that really is a great present.

3 Reasons Why Gratitude Changes Everything

I firmly believe in the statement above! Why? Here's my take:

#1 - When you look for things in your life to be grateful for, the good seems to multiply. Although I didn't understand it at the time, learning to be aware of what I was truly grateful for on a daily basis was a key element in turning my life around at a very dark time in my past. My friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Holden, expresses it this way: "Before we practice gratitude, we appear to be in the dark with very little to be grateful for. Once we begin, a new light dawns, sometimes a brilliant light, a light as bright as heaven itself." That's exactly how it happened for me. Deep in my heart I'd always believed Love ruled the world even though I wasn't allowing myself to experience that during this rough time. I had read a way to retrain your brain to see the "good" in life was to begin a gratitude practice. And so I began and the result was magic! The more I consciously decided to look for at least three things a day to be thankful for, I experienced - even in challenging times - an awareness of the love and goodness that surround me. All I had to do was open my eyes and heart! #2 - Gratitude is a doorway to the divine.  Nothing has been more humbling than an increased awareness of the divine force that coordinates all the good that is constantly available to me and everyone else.  "Gratitude is a sacred space where you allow and know a force greater than your ego is always at work and always available." - Dr. Wayne Dyer A thankful heart opens you up to accept the divine love that is always available, as Wayne Dyer says in the quote above. Why is that important? Because the energy of that divine love is intelligent, creative and expansive. If it can make the tide go in and out, the flowers bloom and create entire galaxies it can gracefully move you through any life challenge you'll ever experience. Trust that divine love is more powerful than your ego and allow it to guide your actions to experience real love in your life. #3 - Gratitude makes life more fun and fulfilling.  Deciding to live from a grateful heart just makes life more FUN! You feel more satisfied, playful, energized and creative in so many ways. Why? Because love expands all good in your life! This quote from author Melody Beattie explains is well: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." Who doesn't want a happier life with more joy and fulfillment? A consistent daily gratitude practice does that and more. And it doesn't cost a thing. All you need is a willingness to begin. Love does the rest.

Oh, SHIFT!

This is a photo of me last week on beautiful Hilton Head Island, SC, walking on the pier outside the condo my husband and I called home for a few days. Our trip was sunny, hot and filled with adventures to new restaurants and visits to familiar places we've loved on past vacations here.

After a very busy few weeks for me, I realized this trip gave me an important...shift. A shift in perspective. I love the mountains. My heart swells every time I drive the curvy roads at home, pop a hill and get a glimpse of my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I love their strength, beauty and the idea that they've witnessed so many generations of life in our area.

My husband loves the beach. We went to Hilton Head to celebrate his birthday and I decided to use the first principle of my Be Love Principles during the week to help adjust to my temporary beach environment. That one says "Greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda." And I did my best to do just that.

I opened my heart to every person we met at the condo complex where we stayed, each salesperson and waitstaff we encountered and anyone we met on our travels. And I didn't stop there.

I greeted the ocean with an open heart. The tiny crabs we saw scurrying along the beach, the noisy seagulls, the hundreds of colorful butterflies and thousands of blooming flowers were all greeted with an open heart.

So were the mosquitoes that bit me, that driver who flipped me the finger after I may, or may not, have accidentally cut him off on the highway and the skin rash on my face that wouldn't go away. I did my best to greet everyone and everything with an open heart, without an agenda.

To me, "without an agenda" means without expectation or attachment. Not always easy to do, but I've been working on this for a while now. And I see the results.

When I'm able to "greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda" I'm genuinely happier, more peaceful and free from the stress and worry I've experience for much of my life. I could even see the actions of my dear husband that would have normally "triggered" me, didn't have the usual effect. WTF? (That stands for "well that's funny" in case you didn't know.)

I realized I've experienced an authentic shift in perspective. And I like it!

So what is the shift? Think of it as seeing from a slightly different angle. That's all it takes to see things with a fresh perspective. On the second day of a recent workshop I was facilitating, I had the participants stand up, shift four chairs over to their left and sit down. You should have seen their faces! Several mentioned parts of the room, outside view or desk area they hadn't noticed before. Each was a little more awake, aware of where they were in the room. Just that little shift had changed their perspective.

For me the shift has allowed me to more clearly see my life and everything in it. It's an increasing awareness, at the heart level, of the divine love in everything. EVERYTHING. I've intellectually known this concept for years, but practicing this principle has brought my understanding to a true mind-body-spirit level. Amazing.

 So how will you shift to create a life you can love even more? I guarantee your investment in time and effort are well worthwhile. Check out some ideas here on my Be Love Principles website.

I'll see you on the beach...

How to Stay Present in a Crazy World!

I'm not one to contradict Buddha...but I sometimes struggle with the statement above. Do you?

I've studied ancient spiritual wisdom as well as the teachings of modern mystics and they all mention the value of "being present." I understand the concept. To me, being present is having your full focus, attention, thoughts and feelings on the person or situation right there, in the moment you are experiencing.

Yeah, that's easy enough to do. 

Not. Even. Close.

I mean, come on...do those mystics deal with family issues, car accidents, health scares and financial problems? These are just a few of the real-life events clients talked with me about last week. They’re facing challenges and doing their best to live from their own divine core while they face the uncertainly of life as a human.

That’s exactly what mystics do. They understand our challenge is to be anchored in love while we live our daily lives. Why? The rewards include less stress, more confidence, a feeling of being in flow with life and feeling “on purpose.” Add to that a happier, more joyful life experience, a sense of oneness and desire to be in service all while enjoying a sense of deep peace. And there’s more…people who consistently live in the present moment have described feeling “more freedom.”

I know when I’m focused on the present moment, I’m free of stress created by my relentless rehashing of the past and free from worry about the future. That’s when I’m best able to align with my inner wisdom, and fully receive the guidance that leads me to the life I’m here to live. I’m guided to love, to service and back to the truest part of me.

Is that easy? While I believe it can be, it hasn’t been for me.

I have a long way to go to consistently be present and yet I’m daily reaping the rewards of my efforts. A life dedicated to love is far happier than the one I used to live that seemed to be dedicated to stress, overwhelm and worry. Go figure…

If you want to be more present, here are a few tips to try:

·       Commit to a daily spiritual practice: I recommend starting the day with what I call “the 3 M’s” to incorporate mind, body and spirit. Total time spent is up to you…start with a few minutes on each and work up to a more substantial routine. Yes, you have time for this:

.1.     Meditation:  Even starting with five to ten minutes a day can make a huge difference in your ability to feel calm, happy and more present in your life. If you’re new to meditation, check out free apps like CALM or INSIGHT TIMER.

.2.     Motivate: Turn off the news, put down your phone and read or listen to something that inspires and motivates you. I start the day with the daily lesson from A Course in Miracles plus time reading an inspiring book.

.3.     Move: Stretch, do a few yoga poses, walk or go up and down the stairs to bring awareness to your body first thing in the morning.

·       Ask questions when you feel overwhelmed or stressed in a situation. Questions could include:

.1.     What do I really know to be true, right now, in this moment? Is that really true?

.2.     What’s it like to be me in this situation at this instant? What would it be like to be a happier, more peaceful and trusting version of me right now?

.3.     Where are my feet? (I love this one that I learned from my mentor, Robert Holden. It brings me out of your head and back into my body every time.)

·       Get back to nature: Any time it’s possible, take a mindful walk in nature. Relax. Breathe. If that’s not possible, bring fresh flowers into the house or office, pet your cat or take a break and look at nature photos. All will help shift your brain chemistry and bring you into the present. Whatever you do, be mindful of the activity and give it your full attention and focus.

·       Heart Breath: My number one way to be present is to imagine breathing in and out of my heart space. I teach clients to breathe love in the back of their heart and radiate love out of the front. Start with at least five repetitions.

There are few things in life as sweet as finding your balance, experiencing joy in small moments and feeling at peace about the past and future. Learning to live in the present moment does this and more. Still need a bit of help? Ask Love to guide you.