How to Stay Present in a Crazy World!

I'm not one to contradict Buddha...but I sometimes struggle with the statement above. Do you?

I've studied ancient spiritual wisdom as well as the teachings of modern mystics and they all mention the value of "being present." I understand the concept. To me, being present is having your full focus, attention, thoughts and feelings on the person or situation right there, in the moment you are experiencing.

Yeah, that's easy enough to do. 

Not. Even. Close.

I mean, come on...do those mystics deal with family issues, car accidents, health scares and financial problems? These are just a few of the real-life events clients talked with me about last week. They’re facing challenges and doing their best to live from their own divine core while they face the uncertainly of life as a human.

That’s exactly what mystics do. They understand our challenge is to be anchored in love while we live our daily lives. Why? The rewards include less stress, more confidence, a feeling of being in flow with life and feeling “on purpose.” Add to that a happier, more joyful life experience, a sense of oneness and desire to be in service all while enjoying a sense of deep peace. And there’s more…people who consistently live in the present moment have described feeling “more freedom.”

I know when I’m focused on the present moment, I’m free of stress created by my relentless rehashing of the past and free from worry about the future. That’s when I’m best able to align with my inner wisdom, and fully receive the guidance that leads me to the life I’m here to live. I’m guided to love, to service and back to the truest part of me.

Is that easy? While I believe it can be, it hasn’t been for me.

I have a long way to go to consistently be present and yet I’m daily reaping the rewards of my efforts. A life dedicated to love is far happier than the one I used to live that seemed to be dedicated to stress, overwhelm and worry. Go figure…

If you want to be more present, here are a few tips to try:

·       Commit to a daily spiritual practice: I recommend starting the day with what I call “the 3 M’s” to incorporate mind, body and spirit. Total time spent is up to you…start with a few minutes on each and work up to a more substantial routine. Yes, you have time for this:

.1.     Meditation:  Even starting with five to ten minutes a day can make a huge difference in your ability to feel calm, happy and more present in your life. If you’re new to meditation, check out free apps like CALM or INSIGHT TIMER.

.2.     Motivate: Turn off the news, put down your phone and read or listen to something that inspires and motivates you. I start the day with the daily lesson from A Course in Miracles plus time reading an inspiring book.

.3.     Move: Stretch, do a few yoga poses, walk or go up and down the stairs to bring awareness to your body first thing in the morning.

·       Ask questions when you feel overwhelmed or stressed in a situation. Questions could include:

.1.     What do I really know to be true, right now, in this moment? Is that really true?

.2.     What’s it like to be me in this situation at this instant? What would it be like to be a happier, more peaceful and trusting version of me right now?

.3.     Where are my feet? (I love this one that I learned from my mentor, Robert Holden. It brings me out of your head and back into my body every time.)

·       Get back to nature: Any time it’s possible, take a mindful walk in nature. Relax. Breathe. If that’s not possible, bring fresh flowers into the house or office, pet your cat or take a break and look at nature photos. All will help shift your brain chemistry and bring you into the present. Whatever you do, be mindful of the activity and give it your full attention and focus.

·       Heart Breath: My number one way to be present is to imagine breathing in and out of my heart space. I teach clients to breathe love in the back of their heart and radiate love out of the front. Start with at least five repetitions.

There are few things in life as sweet as finding your balance, experiencing joy in small moments and feeling at peace about the past and future. Learning to live in the present moment does this and more. Still need a bit of help? Ask Love to guide you.

We’re here to “live love?” What the heck does that mean?

We’re here, on this planet, to live love. That’s what I believe at least. It’s our purpose in life although the way we execute that purpose looks different for each of us. So what does “living love” mean? To me, the phrase refers to anything you think, say or do with the intention of lifting someone’s spirits, making them feel safe, offering helpful information or making them feel cared for and valued. Putting energy into anything that can positively affect someone’s perspective or quality of life, even for an instant, qualifies in my book. That’s sharing love, Divine love, which is the fuel for positive change in this human life.

So how do you do that? You can share a joke, offer your grandma’s secret brownie recipe to the neighbor, smile at a stranger or repost the latest funny cat video on Facebook for your friends. It’s not that complicated. You’re welcome to rescue a young child from a burning building, dig a well to serve a remote village or become a life-saving cardiac surgeon. Those qualify as well, but I believe the ordinary acts of kindness delivered consistently, day after day, are the foundation for building a better, more loving and peaceful world for us all.

“Living love” evolves as your ability and desire to share love expands and grows. Looking back on my own life, I see that my most challenging situations were always brimming with growth opportunities. It’s always our choice to grow or stay stagnant. While growth can be a bit painful, true soul growth leads to a happier, more fulfilled life as you feel truly healthy in mind, body and spirit. That can mean waking up with a smile, excited about the day; more genuine belly laughs and feeling playful or savoring the taste of your food as you notice every delicate spice involved in the complex flavor of the dish. It means being more present in every moment, relishing the opportunities that are offered before you in the choices we face each minute of the day. Why? Because you feel truly happy and connected to yourself, your family, your world and the Divine love that is the essence of you. And that leads to a desire to share that love with others which in turn offers them the opportunity to share love and so it goes. It’s really a great Divine plan when we let it work!

You can certainly choose to stay stuck, feel your body deteriorate in pain and disease as your spirit weakens and you fall prey to the toxic emotions that keep you a prisoner of your inner pain. Yep, you can do that. After years of spiritual growth work, I found myself falling deeper into a well of despair and consciously made the choice to shift my energy from anger to peace. I shifted from frustration to calm, and as I made that choice, and went through the process to detox from my negative perspective, my life changed for the better. I wanted to share my experiences with others so they understood that prolonged suffering is really a choice. And you can always choose another way. A better way. The way of love. But everyone needs to know where to start.

That’s why I wrote my new book, How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody.  Like many people in my age group, I spent years struggling to balance my own needs with that of my family, work and responsibilities as the eldest child of my chronically ill father. Yep, that qualified as a “challenging situation” as long days spent in hospitals turned into weeks, then months and years of stress and fear. I was at the end of my rope and desperate to change my circumstances. I felt like lashing out. Although I never actually slapped anyone, I thought about it. Many people do lash out which is why they usually laugh when they hear the book title.

Even in one of the most mentally and physically exhausting times of my life, I wanted to “do the right thing.” I wanted to make the “right” choices for myself, my dad, my family and my business. But what constitutes a “right” choice? I finally decided it was one that came from love, not fear. As I began to implement the quick methods and fast techniques I write about in my book, my thinking became clearer and I became a better advocate for my dad as he navigated the final months of his life. I became calmer, more at peace, more accepting and more present so I could function at a higher level. I felt physically better than I had in months.

I used the tools I outline in my book to consciously tap into the energy of Divine love within and made my experience of a difficult situation easier to move through. I didn’t feel “stuck” as much. Did I still have bad days? Absolutely. And I still grieved as my dad’s earthly journey came to an end. But I was stronger and grew from the ordeal instead of staying stuck in anger and sadness. You have the same choice.

I want you to know that you can choose love as a fuel to move you through this life and reap the benefits of increased clarity, feeling happier and more joyful about yourself and your world. In any situation, the choice is up to you.