How to Stay Present in a Crazy World!

I'm not one to contradict Buddha...but I sometimes struggle with the statement above. Do you?

I've studied ancient spiritual wisdom as well as the teachings of modern mystics and they all mention the value of "being present." I understand the concept. To me, being present is having your full focus, attention, thoughts and feelings on the person or situation right there, in the moment you are experiencing.

Yeah, that's easy enough to do. 

Not. Even. Close.

I mean, come on...do those mystics deal with family issues, car accidents, health scares and financial problems? These are just a few of the real-life events clients talked with me about last week. They’re facing challenges and doing their best to live from their own divine core while they face the uncertainly of life as a human.

That’s exactly what mystics do. They understand our challenge is to be anchored in love while we live our daily lives. Why? The rewards include less stress, more confidence, a feeling of being in flow with life and feeling “on purpose.” Add to that a happier, more joyful life experience, a sense of oneness and desire to be in service all while enjoying a sense of deep peace. And there’s more…people who consistently live in the present moment have described feeling “more freedom.”

I know when I’m focused on the present moment, I’m free of stress created by my relentless rehashing of the past and free from worry about the future. That’s when I’m best able to align with my inner wisdom, and fully receive the guidance that leads me to the life I’m here to live. I’m guided to love, to service and back to the truest part of me.

Is that easy? While I believe it can be, it hasn’t been for me.

I have a long way to go to consistently be present and yet I’m daily reaping the rewards of my efforts. A life dedicated to love is far happier than the one I used to live that seemed to be dedicated to stress, overwhelm and worry. Go figure…

If you want to be more present, here are a few tips to try:

·       Commit to a daily spiritual practice: I recommend starting the day with what I call “the 3 M’s” to incorporate mind, body and spirit. Total time spent is up to you…start with a few minutes on each and work up to a more substantial routine. Yes, you have time for this:

.1.     Meditation:  Even starting with five to ten minutes a day can make a huge difference in your ability to feel calm, happy and more present in your life. If you’re new to meditation, check out free apps like CALM or INSIGHT TIMER.

.2.     Motivate: Turn off the news, put down your phone and read or listen to something that inspires and motivates you. I start the day with the daily lesson from A Course in Miracles plus time reading an inspiring book.

.3.     Move: Stretch, do a few yoga poses, walk or go up and down the stairs to bring awareness to your body first thing in the morning.

·       Ask questions when you feel overwhelmed or stressed in a situation. Questions could include:

.1.     What do I really know to be true, right now, in this moment? Is that really true?

.2.     What’s it like to be me in this situation at this instant? What would it be like to be a happier, more peaceful and trusting version of me right now?

.3.     Where are my feet? (I love this one that I learned from my mentor, Robert Holden. It brings me out of your head and back into my body every time.)

·       Get back to nature: Any time it’s possible, take a mindful walk in nature. Relax. Breathe. If that’s not possible, bring fresh flowers into the house or office, pet your cat or take a break and look at nature photos. All will help shift your brain chemistry and bring you into the present. Whatever you do, be mindful of the activity and give it your full attention and focus.

·       Heart Breath: My number one way to be present is to imagine breathing in and out of my heart space. I teach clients to breathe love in the back of their heart and radiate love out of the front. Start with at least five repetitions.

There are few things in life as sweet as finding your balance, experiencing joy in small moments and feeling at peace about the past and future. Learning to live in the present moment does this and more. Still need a bit of help? Ask Love to guide you.

10 Tips to My 18 Year Old Graduate Self

May is the time for graduations. From preschool to grad school, my Facebook feed is full of photos showing beaming graduates of every age and the tearful families who love them.

I’m a sucker for graduations. The pageantry, the ritual, the joy of new possibilities…I just love it. Even if it’s only a TV commercial, I start to tear up when I hear “Pomp and Circumstances.” Every. Single. Time.

I got to thinking about my own high school graduation in 1975 and what I’d tell myself at that age if I had the chance. At 18 I wasn’t ready for a lot of hard truths, but here’s 10 tips that would have made the next 40+ years easier:

1) Do what scares you. Meet new friends, have adventures. Take more risks. And when that sweet girl in your dorm freshman year asks you to go with her and a few friends to hear her cousin play in a new band, GO! Her cousin turns out to be Clarence Clemons and you could have met Bruce Springsteen and the rest of the E Street Band. Studying for that stupid history test only got you a B anyway.  

2) Listen to the wisdom of your inner voice. Balance “what makes sense” in your head with what your heart tells you is true. You’ll have several situations where you went directly against what you knew in your heart was the best choice…and you’ll regret it. Mom was right. Listen to your intuition. Like when you felt pulled to go to the hospital to see your friend “D” but didn’t want to intrude. Go. Turns out you don’t get another chance.

3) It sucks, but Mom was right about a lot of things. Just accept it. You’ll understand more when you have your own kids.

4) Dad was right too, especially about money. Put some away every month. The years do go by faster than you think and you’ll wish the money you spent “investing” in your 8-Track, Pet Rock and Beanie Baby collections had been sitting in a bank benefiting from years of compound interest. 

5) Always tell people what they mean to you, how much you love them. Never hold a grudge. Forgive freely. Holding on to hurt never helps. Love yourself and forgive yourself for everything. You finally figure out all your “mistakes” were opportunities to grow. Trust me, you end up with TONS of growth opportunities.

6) Turns out meditation isn’t just for weirdos and hippies. It becomes your foundation in a decade or two and changes your life in miraculous ways. Don’t fight it.

7) Calm down. Just calm the hell down. What you think is a big deal, usually isn’t and the really scary stuff you never see coming. Learn to be more present in each moment and you’ll do far better than worrying about a thousand possible situations in the future.

8) Stop worrying so much about your weight and hair. Get more exercise and trust hair products will be invented that will tame that curly mane (it takes a few decades though). You’ll finally learn you are not your looks. The sooner you figure this out, the better life becomes. Oh, and when you hear about this thing called a “Brow Bar” run, do not walk, to the closest one as fast as you can. (I know I just told you you’re not your looks, but it doesn’t hurt to be well groomed.)

9) Every second of every day is precious. Do your best to not waste a minute. 

10) You were absolutely right about one thing. Elton John IS still rocking well into his 70’s! And he still sounds amazing. 

Heed the Small Voice

To me, the week between Christmas and New Year’s is sort of a “bonus time” to play, connect with friends, even allow yourself to be just a little lazy (and read that new book for several hours instead of doing laundry). It’s a time to relax and enjoy yourself. It’s a time to reflect on the events of the last year, and prepare for the new. That’s exactly what I was doing last weekend when an interesting thing happened.

I woke up the Saturday after Christmas, still in bed, thinking my main goal would be to find the perfect robe at a fantastic “after holiday” price. Yep, that was my plan. My sister was busy, my daughter and son-in-law were visiting his family out of town, and my husband was working so the day was mine, and mine alone. “No problem,” I thought. “I’ll get in and get out of the stores quickly and be home to catch a SyFy movie and snuggle with the cat by the afternoon.”

Even before I got up, I had this thought, “Go to the garden center.” I didn’t need, or want, anything from there, so I quickly dismissed the thought like the fleeting shadow from a fading dream. As I fed the cat, took my shower and got ready to leave, the image of this specific garden center about 25 miles away kept appearing in my mind. “No robes there,” I laughed as I climbed in my car.

I listened to holiday music as I made my way to the shopping area where I was sure my soft and delightfully priced robe would be waiting for me. Still, I kept seeing the garden center and feeling as if it were calling to me. Now I’ve seen and heard some interesting stuff, but this intensity was new even to me. “Hmm, maybe I should swing by there before I go home,” I thought as I headed in that general direction. The center is just a couple miles past the shopping area I planned to visit.

“I’m right here at the store so I might as well stop here first,” I said out loud. My car didn’t stop. I drove right by and heard, “go to the garden center first.” OK, I can be a bit dense, but I know when I’m getting Divine direction. I eventually get it, at least.

Off to this huge garden center I went. I parked in front and walked in, curious to find the treasure I was sure must be waiting for me. After all, I’d been directed to come. I expected some unbelievable deal on a unique holiday ornament or maybe one of the table top water fountains I loved there. But I found nothing. I wandered every isle totally open to whatever Spirit was directing me to find. And then it happened.

“Diane!” I heard from behind me as a woman I know called my name. It was she who I needed to see. The details aren’t important. What is important is that I listened to the small voice inside that kept gently directing me to this meeting which we both benefited from. If I had stopped at the store first, I’d never have had this “chance” encounter. And this was a lovely way to connect with someone who lived out of the area who I didn’t usually see.

So who or what directed me? Angels? My guides? God? Source? I just know it was Divine. And when I look back at the last year, I can see how my life made miraculous turns when I heeded this small – but persistent – inner voice. I could also see how I struggled when I made choices that didn’t “feel right” or were opposite this guidance. For the coming year, I’ll be sure to pay more attention to this little voice and take the path that is presented to me. I’ll let this loving energy guide my actions. That’s the plan. I encourage you to find your own inner voice and notice the guidance you’re offered and see what happens. (Meditation is a quick and easy way to connect with this inner knowing!)

Oh, and I did find the perfect robe.