It Starts with YOU!

Oh, how I wish it wasn't true.

I wish I could take a magic pill and POOF! All the positive change I want in my life suddenly manifests. Yeah, I wish it worked like that.

After decades of searching, I am confident there is no magic pill. Bummer.

There is good news, however. What I discovered and have verified time after time, over nearly 30 years of studying mind, body and spirit, is that the power to make healthy change exists in each one of us. It's in me and it's in you. The message is clear. If you want to change anything in your life, it starts with you.

Want greater physical health? It starts with you. Financial stability? It starts with you. Want more joy and happiness in your life? It starts with you. Want better relationships? It starts with you.

This last realization was a real eye opener since I had held on to the belief that others in my life just needed to straighten up. Nope. The quality of my relationships, and everything else, start with how I think about them. My thoughts lead to my actions and how I interpret the actions of others.

That's right. The power to change starts with you and your willingness to think differently. I love this quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer:

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

So what are you willing to see differently? What change do you want to see in your life in the next year? Remember the good news...it starts with you.

How To Get Out of Your "Cage"

Yep, that’s me with my beautiful two-year-old grandson, Emory, posing inside a shark cage during a visit to the Virginia Living Museum in Newport News, Virginia. I had a fantastic day with my daughter, son-in-law and Emory as we explored this fabulous museum and enjoyed a weekend getaway to Williamsburg. My daughter and I were exchanging the dozens (OK, maybe dozens and dozens) of photos we’d taken and this one stood out.

Like many families, ours has been under stress lately and this mini vacation gave us the space to take a breath. Relax. Do something different. Have FUN.

As I looked at the photos of our adventure, this one stopped me in my tracks. I suddenly understood a truth I’d forgotten in the stress of the past few weeks. It was so apparent as I gazed at this picture.   

The stress we’d been experiencing was a “cage” created by our thoughts. Yes, we’d lived through a tough family situation, the trauma was real. However, as I looked at this photo, I realized that after we acknowledged and dealt with the event, only our thoughts kept the drama of the situation alive.

Emory and I had walked through the open side of this shark cage to take a goofy picture. And we walked out. Because he’s only a toddler, we walked in and out a few times.

Just like that shark cage, I realized I’d “walked in and out” of the cage I’d created in my mind a few times. More than once, I’d forgotten the side was open and I could walk out of this cage anytime I changed the way I thought about the situation. I realized I could get out of my "cage" anytime I wanted.

The things you learn on vacation….

The Power of Your Thoughts

This is it. The key to a happier, more fulfilled life. 

YOU hold the power to change your experience in every aspect of your life by changing the way you think about it.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Not your jerk boss, cranky kid or some politician in D.C.

YOU.

Controlling your thoughts doesn’t mean you escape life challenges; it means you are equipped to move through them with more grace and ease. Let me explain.

Recently, an accident occurred that injured a family member. When I first heard the news, I was scared, and my mind went to the worst possible scenario as I waited for the details to slowly emerge. I made an important discovery in the following days:

While we can’t change the trauma, succumbing to drama is optional.

I realized my fearful thoughts did not change the facts or the outcome. Although many saw my fear as “justified,” “natural” and even encouraged legal retribution, none of that helped me feel better or allowed me to lovingly support other family members. 

For me, only one thing helped.

I went back to the Be Love Principles and asked the divine within:

• How can I greet everyone involved with an open heart, without an agenda?

• Show me the divine essence in this situation.

• Teach me how to forgive everyone involved quickly, completely and unconditionally.

• Remind me that everyone is part of the light of All.

I did my best, minute by minute, to be the presence of love and stay in that space as we moved through the situation. I did it for me and my family. It wasn’t easy and, at times, I failed to stay centered in love. It happened whenever I fell back into fear, anger and overwhelm. Once I became aware of those thoughts, I went back to love as quickly as I could. Full disclosure, I wasn’t the most popular with some people who didn’t understand my perspective. They thought I was “naive,” “nuts” or in denial. 

But I remembered the truth. I am responsible for my thoughts and how I react to life. 

Here’s an important point: I allowed myself to feel my feelings as they came up. Feelings that are ignored simply go underground then resurface later. I’ve learned that too! The difference here is that I felt my feelings then consciously decided how I would think about them. I could continue to fuel the fear, or I could choose to be the presence of love, as much as I could, throughout the challenge.

I’m grateful to add our situation has had a much better outcome than I first feared. All is well. And I understand that while Life wil certainly present more tough days in the future, my thoughts will dictate my experience of both life’s joys and sorrows. 

I choose to experience both with love.

P.S. Check out this episode of “Heart-Centered Success with Diane L Haworth” on “The Power of Your Thoughts”  for deeper insights on the topic and for more on the Be Love Principles, visit www.BeLovePrinciples.org. 

Ego vs. Divine

 
“How can I tell if a thought is from my divine intuition or from my ego?”

Think this is a weird question? Not for me! As a spiritual coach, my clients and students ask this all the time.

My clients are everyday people with normal life challenges. They all want better health, great relationships, to feel fulfilled in their work and, most of all, to experience true happiness. They want to feel connected to something bigger than themselves. They want to feel connected to Source.

If their desire is serious, they do the work required and wonderful changes start to occur. They feel calmer. They feel more at peace. They even catch themselves feeling happy for no reason! Their intuition increases and then…they get scared.

They start feeling inspired, more creative and become motivated. And sometimes confused and nervous. These great feelings may be new, after all, and even “happy” can take some getting used to if you’re normal state is “sullen and sad.”

And that’s when I get the question.

“How can I tell if a thought is from my divine intuition or from my ego?”

The answer is quite simple. When you get an unusual thought (not the “I need to buy eggs today” kind of thought, but the “I want to write a book about the creative process” kind), ask yourself “how does it make me feel?”

If you feel scared, nervous or worried, that’s a sure sign your ego is trying to keep you safely “in the box” you’re accustomed to. Messages from your divine intuition, or Spirit, are gentler. With these messages you’ll often get repeated little “nudges” and notice signs or synchronicities that all point to the message you’ve received.

Here’s the bottom line: the ego likes things the way they are while Spirit is always encouraging you to do more, be more. Think of the ego as a restrictive energy and divine as an expansive one.

So how does your thought make you feel physically? Restricted and tight or expansive and open?

That’s how you tell the difference.

How a Shark Taught Me to Control My Thoughts

If you know me, you know I love Discover Channel’s annual SHARK WEEK programming. In honor of these magnificent creatures, I’m offering this excerpt from my book, “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody” that details my own shark encounter and the lesson I learned from it. Enjoy…

Consider this Buddha quote: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” You are what you think. If you think your day will be a disaster, a disaster it is. If you think your day will be a happy one, you’ll be right again. Industrialist Henry Ford said it this way, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t - you’re right.” According to philosopher Soren Kierkegarrd, “Our life always expresses the result of our dominate thoughts.”

So if you think you’re a failure, you will live that truth. If you think you’re a kind person, you’ll demonstrate kindness. Are we doomed by our thoughts? Not at all. Norman Vincent Peale said, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Award winning singer songwriter Willie Nelson is quoted as saying, “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie gets it. All these people understood the power of the mind to create reality. And they understood everyone has the power to change their reality by changing their thoughts.

I know, I know – you’ve heard about the power of changing your thoughts to change the experience of your life and have probably read books demonstrating to consciously create your life with your thoughts. And you believe some of it. I believe all of it. I’ve seen countless times how the energy of my thoughts not only crafted my life experience, but absolutely affected those around me.

Several years ago I was learning to scuba dive in the Bahamas. On the second day out with my instructor, I was still awestruck by the beauty at the bottom of the ocean. The coral, the spectacular array of sea creatures, and the vastness of the sea - it was all just incredible. And I could see it all because I was breathing under water! It was unbelievable. I remembered my television hero, Jacques Cousteau, and could hear his powerful voice in my head eloquently describing the breathtaking underwater scene that enveloped me in his beautiful French accent.

We were diving near a large coral reef when a brightly colored school of fish silently glided by followed by a trio of six to eight foot reef sharks. I watched with amazement and noted the group was only about ten feet away from me. What? The sharks were only ten feet away from ME! In a flash the theme from JAWS started playing in my head as did each brutal bloody scene from every single shark movie I've ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot. The tempo of the song increased and as I became completely terrified, one shark broke away from the group and began circling me. I could see the shark's dead eyes staring through me and I became even more horrified. Quint’s famous line in JAWS flooded back to me, “You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye.” It’s true.

As the shark got closer and closer I was forced to drop down on my belly between two coral shelves where I was trapped. I was breathing hard and using up oxygen fast when I realized there was at least 50 feet of ocean straight up between me and the boat. The more scared I was, the more aggressive the shark got. I remembered hearing that sharks could sense fear and were drawn to any creature that gave off "victim" vibes. Even in full panic, a small voice inside me realized I have to calm down. I forced myself to breathe deep and slow. I began to repeat "I am safe, I am safe, I am safe" over and over in my mind. As I felt my body start to relax, the shark began to lose interest and as I completely relaxed into the calm, it turned and swam away. The only thing that changed in this scenario was my thought pattern. You think I believe our thoughts matter? You bet I do!

I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Oprah, Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay are just a few of the many people who believe that what you think creates your reality. I certainly believe it! Chapter three of my book “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody” is about just that. It’s entitled “You Are What You Think” and now I have a new story to prove it.

Twice in the last two weeks I’ve mentioned a magazine to people in casual conversation and, more specifically, a particular annual issue of that magazine. Both times I noted silently to myself that I’d like to see that issue when it comes out this spring. I felt strongly there was something I needed to see. Then I forgot all about it. That is until the specific issue of that specific magazine showed up in my mail box.

My husband brings the mail home from our post office in town. As I was going through the mail pile a couple days ago, I spotted it – the magazine! I don’t subscribe to it and was shocked to see in my hands not only the magazine I’d been talking about, but the exact annual issue I’d wanted to see.

“Whaaat?” I said out loud. “Where’d this come from?” I wondered. I noticed the magazine was addressed to someone whose post office box was directly underneath mine. “WOW! Just what I wanted!”

“OK, it’s a coincidence,” my husband said.

“The exact issue I was thinking about? I manifested this!” I countered.

I started flipping through the pages and asked silently, “Now what am I supposed to see here?” The magazine fell open to an article that answered a question I was having in my business. Yeah, a coincidence. Right. I can’t make this stuff up.

I copied the article and returned the magazine to the post office so it could be delivered to its owner. I’d already had the magazine delivered to me by the Universe.

At least that’s what I think.