Dear Ego…I QUIT!

It hit me a while ago. I figured out why my life doesn’t work the way I know it “should” in certain scenarios.

Yes, I know all experience is part of our learning in this life and I respect that. I’ve grown exponentially from past events and both understand and appreciate their value.

But come on.

I recognize that, sometimes, I do something kinda stupid. Period.

Not because I’m ill informed, unprepared or because Mercury is in the dreaded Retrograde. I realized I do dumb things that were reactions to fear, stress or feelings of overwhelm. All territories of the ego.

So I quit.

I quit letting fear run my business, my health, my relationships. I decided I no longer wanted to consciously allow my ego to run my life or my business. I decided to, even more fully than ever before, submit to the intelligent, creative and expansive divine love within me.

If Love/Universe/Spirit/God can create galaxies, running the details of my life should be a piece of cake. I decided to be fully guided by Love. To be all in. I got out my journal and on the left side I wrote this letter:

Dear Ego,

I hereby immediately resign my position as your employee. I freely give up the worry, stress and overwhelm associated with my position.

I appreciate the learning I’ve received under your tutelage and recognize it has enabled me to see we are no longer a “good fit.”

While I’m sure we’ll see each other from time to time, please know I am totally and eternally in service to Love.

Diane L Haworth

So that felt AMAZING and I didn’t stop there. Next came my acceptance letter to Love:

Dear Love,

It is with much delight, relief and utter trust that I accept and fully commit to being in your service.

I commit to:

·       Loving myself

·       Loving all others

·       Being guided as you direct and taking action (whether I understand it or not)

·       Dedicating my life in service to Love

I am excited to walk in the path as you lead me.

Diane L Haworth

I felt fantastic! I had effectively “fired” the confused, scared and ineffective part of me and fully committed to the part that understands my entire life plan and how to live with the most joy, peace and freedom.

Although I had no preconceived idea of what would happen next – remember I’d just committed to being fully guided – miracles started to appear. Unforeseen opportunities, gifts, delightful surprises…all began, and continue, to appear.

Why?

Because I finally got out of the way. By inviting and allowing Love to lead I’m finding life is unfolding in beautiful ways I could never imagine.

Tired of living in the chaos of a life led by fear and your ego? Go get out your journal and start writing….

What's your word for 2018?

I've often heard my friends say they pick a specific word to guide their journey at the beginning of each new year. I've never done that. At least not consistently or consciously. I'd pick a word that I thought sounded intellectual and oh, so spiritual to respond to my friends queries when asked. But I can't say I was dedicated to living from my word. Until now.

I have a word. And it was given to me by my inner divine voice.

Yep, that's where it came from. I was in meditation, minding my own business, being lost in the vast nothingness of the "all," when I heard - yes, HEARD - "Your word is expansive."

"Ugh, what?" I thought. But it was clear. Expansive is my word. But what did it mean for me?

And that came as well. In a flood of images, feelings and a strange knowingness it all came in. 

I'm dedicating my year to more consistently tapping into the creative, intelligent, expansive divine spirit within to expand in all areas of my life. 

I'm expanding into love, understanding, compassion and peace. 

I quickly found out that my ego is still very much in play as my immediate thought was, "OMG! I don't want everything to expand! My belly doesn’t need to get any bigger!" Silly ego.

I had to start again. I had to remind myself that the divine within wasn't trying to "trick" me into gaining weight, losing friends or becoming too "woo woo." That's all ego stuff.

I think my opportunity is to learn to expand beyond my usual self judgement, fear and worry. To really allow myself to expand into the consciousness of love as my guide in daily life. 

And when I fall short of that goal, I’ll choose again.

Courage...

I was speaking with my coach this week about courage. Courage in business, courage in relationships and courage in life in general. She asked me "how do you define courage?" 

I answered quickly "It's taking the action you know to be true, from your soul level, even in the face of fear." I was surprised how easily the definition came. But I knew it was true. I know that any time I've taken a courageous action; it was fueled by divine inspiration. I just KNEW it was the right thing to do. I knew it from such a deep level, there was no question. That didn't mean I always followed through, though.

Often I realized the action I was considering would "rock the boat" in the situation I was thinking about. So sometimes I'd chicken out...I wouldn't do what I knew to be true. And I always suffered for it in some way. 

Sometimes however, even in the face of what I thought might be dangerous consequences for me personally, I followed my heart and took the inspired action. It didn't always work out immediately the way I anticipated. Often the results were far more beneficial than I could ever have imagined. And sometimes it took years to see the truth of the situation I had faced and why I was called to a specific action. One thing has always been clear.

Whenever I follow my heart, my true inner divine knowing, and take the inspired action I feel called to carry out, I feel congruent with Spirit. I feel at peace. Instead of feeling stuck or like a victim, I am in motion and am in the flow of the solution. 

Yep, I've had to learn the hard way, but I learned. Being courageous enough to take inspired action always leads me to relief, deep peace and joy. 

Having courage in life has helped me enjoy less panic and more peace. And that’s one of my goals for this year. I suggest you try it as well.   #LessPanicMorePeace

A Look Back and Ahead...

So how was your 2016? Did you experience a few surprises? Maybe a shock or two? Most of the world did.

Although some great things probably happened as well, many times as a result of life's turmoil’s we find strength, courage and resolve we didn't know we had.

And let's be honest...most of us would prefer to live "happily ever after" without those pesky life problems. I know I would. But I've learned through the struggles we have the chance to find even deeper wells of love within us. (Just because it's true, doesn't mean it's pleasant.)

The biggest lesson I learned last year?

Situations will constantly evolve, people will come and go and sometimes life isn't fair. However, you can always choose to react to life's challenges with love and respect. And when you forget that, forgive.... and choose again. 

Although we had happy additions to our family this year (my first grandchild is due in February and we welcomed a wonderful new brother-in-law in March), much of our country, and the world, is feeling unsettled. Uneasy. Fearful. Unsure.

That's why most of this year I'll be sharing ways for you to experience "Less Panic, More Peace." We'll be looking at techniques to help you bring consciousness to life's chaos in a way that taps into your most loving and compassionate self. We can all do that. And we'll do it together. Until then, remember #LessPanicMorePeace.

May is Meditation Month! The Perfect Time to #Meditatethevote

I’ve been a dedicated meditator for over 20 years and credit the practice as literally saving my life. As a coach and teacher, meditation is the first thing I discuss with my clients and students. It’s a way of life for me and my passion is to help others understand the healing power of a consistent meditation practice. It’s the most powerful tool I know to effect positive life change. It’s that important.

While I’m usually in my “Zen Zone” after meditation, I’m going to be honest with you. The current national political process has thrown me for a loop. I’ve been shocked, angry and – more than anything else – bewildered by the entire process. I’ve had friends from other parts of the world send messages asking “what the heck is happening there?” I’ve wondered that myself.

Because I’m familiar with the benefits of meditation, I know it brings peace and focus into my life. I think clearer. I’m more articulate and avoid getting “pulled into” unproductive, LOUD discussions with others. (I’ve found that angry discussions have never changed anyone’s mind nor assisted with a greater understanding of the subject at hand. Go figure.)

So what could I do to offset the uneasiness I felt over the election process?

I increased my meditation practice….and answered an invitation from Sister Jenna, host of the popular America Meditating Radio Show, to help promote #Meditatethevote, a grassroots campaign to bring respect, compassion and peaceful conversations to our election process.

Our goal is simple. We’re encouraging people to meditate, pray or be mindful in whatever way works for them and then, from a calm state, engage in meaningful and insightful conversations. Ask questions. Listen to others. Do your research. Meditate on who will best lead our country in the highest and best way for all. We do not endorse any specific candidate. We simply ask people go inside, evaluate options and in November vote from the quiet truth of their own heart.

Talk about a win-win!

Want to be a part of this campaign? It’s easy:

1)      Join us on social media now through November 8th to see what’s happening with the campaign at facebook.com/meditatethevote  and twitter.com/meditatethevote. Engage in conversations through video messages or #meditatethevote inspired questions. Read more suggestions at americameditating.org/events.meditatethevote.

2)     Use your own social media through November to repost and share #meditatethevote messages and videos that you enjoy.

3)     Host an event to encourage others to #meditatethevote. I’m offering a “Free Meditation Session to Introduce #Meditatethevote” in Warrenton, VA the evening of May 11th.  Get details and register at the link above. Want to organize your own gathering? We've got great questions to get your conversation started at americameditating.org/events.meditatethevote.

4)     Record a short video of yourself saying, "I meditatethevote" and why in one sentence then post it on facebook.com/meditatethevote or twitter.com/meditatethevote.  Videos of your family, friends and co-workers are welcome as well! If you’d prefer, snap a photo from your office, home or any place and write, “I #Meditatethevote.” Please share the photo/video on social media using #meditatethevote. We’ll be tweeting at @meditatethevote and @americameditating.

#Meditatethevote is meant to be a peaceful, fun and productive way for us to participate in this election discussion from a place of clarity and purpose. Think I’m kidding about the fun part? Check out this YouTube video!

Many of my friends have said they don’t know how they’ll be able "to make it through the election.” They’re afraid of heated family arguments, relentless TV ads and uneven media coverage.

I’ve got an idea.

Together, let’s #meditatethevote.

“I know what you’re going to say….”

My friends and I have a running joke. Although I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who thinks it’s funny.

Anytime anything – ANYTHING – goes wrong and my buddies call me, they know the first question I’ll ask and they immediately go on the defensive.

“My three-month-old-car needs a new transmission. I can’t believe it, I’m so mad! I know what you’re going to say…”

“My mother-in-law is driving me nuts! I can’t take her endless chatter. I know what you’re going to say…”

“I work with morons! You wouldn’t believe how they run this business! They just don’t get it! I know what you’re going to say…”

Yeah, they know what I’m going to say. “Have you been meditating?”

I know. At first glance you may not see the connection. You may not understand how it relates to everything that happens to you. But it does.

How could meditation help in the examples above, you wonder? Here’s a short explanation from my book “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody”:

Why meditate? Countless medical, scientific and spiritual sources tout the benefits of consistent meditation. A few common benefits widely reported by people who consistently meditate include:

• Feeling happier and more at peace

• Increased social skills and feeling of “connectedness”

• “Stress eating” is reduced or eliminated thus overall weight is reduced

• Reduced events of “impulse buying” due to calmer thought patterns

• Lowered blood pressure and heart rate

• Muscles feel more relaxed (some say they even appear younger once meditation drains stress from the face!)

• Increased brain function: improved memory and greater clarity

• Increased pain tolerance

• Increased creativity and problem solving

• Reduced overall stress (and reaction to specific stress triggers) 

In what universe do you NOT want to be more peaceful, calm, happy and healthy? From that vantage point, life’s challenges are not only easier to understand, but it’s easier to see alternatives and navigate through the issue.

Does a meditation practice mean you can eliminate stress? No. It does mean you’re better equipped to handle whatever life brings your way. Life can be stressful. Meditation makes a positive difference in how you handle the stress.

After meditating for over 20 years, I can honestly say the quality of every aspect of my life has improved from this practice. I believe meditation is so fundamental in creating the foundation for a happy, healthy life that it’s the first thing I discuss with my coaching clients.

What about you? Are you or a loved one experiencing health issues? Work driving you crazy? Feel so frustrated you want to hit your head against a wall?

Let me ask you a question…have you been meditating?

Awake at 4 A.M.

4 A.M. Yep, that’s what the clock showed as I looked at it for the third time this morning. I was awake. Fully awake. The “I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of going back to sleep” kind of awake.

“I can beat this,” I thought as I adjusted my pillow and took a deep breath. My mind was buzzing. Thoughts whirled inside my brain like leaves on the winds of a hurricane.

I gave up around 5:30 A.M. and got up.

What had my mind racing, you wonder?

The idea of living a more joyful life. I don’t mean being super happy, but living from a place of real joy. I’d been thinking about this a lot lately when I found the perfect book to help in my quest. It wasn’t what I expected.

“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo isn’t the type of book I usually buy. But it had been recommended by a couple of my “metaphysical” friends who raved about the spiritual transformations possible by “tidying up” as Marie describes.

“I bet,” I thought sarcastically.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m a big fan of a clean, decluttered house. And while I always feel better in an organized space, I had my doubts that this method would greatly enhance my spiritual progress. I was wrong. It works.

I urge you to read this little book to learn the particulars, but the essence of Marie’s message is simple. In your personal environments, only surround yourself with items that “spark joy.”

The premise is brilliant. How could you help but feel grateful, abundant and productive when everywhere you look sparks joy? Not just nice, not just neat, but sparks joy? Wow. Guess that would qualify as life-changing and certainly transformational.

I’ve started the process and it’s nothing short of amazing. I feel lighter, happier and more peaceful. Incredible. We totally renovated our home last year, so I’d already donated or thrown out boxes of “stuff” and the remaining items had been carefully organized. This method goes even further. And now the bar has really been raised.

When considering a purchase of new clothes or household items, I take the time to ask myself, “does this spark joy?” If possible, I hold the item in my hand to see how it feels, or rather, how I feel about the item. It sounds crazy, even to me, but something’s working. I feel more joyful during the day. I’m dancing while I do the laundry. I feel grateful for the job each item has in my home and how it contributes to my life.

I know, it sounds nuts.

I’ve told my clients for years that “your external world reflects your internal world” and I believe it. While I wanted my external world to reflect joy, I never imagined I could have EVERYTHING in my personal environment do that. I’ve always had certain possessions that made me happy, but never a roomful. Thanks to Marie, I now understand how to do that. I even know how to tame the piles of paperwork that plague me. After I finish my tidying project, however, that won’t be an issue. How much more joy could I then experience?

That’s what I was wondering at 4 A.M. this morning.