"Spiritual Crap"

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I’ve spent years deepening my spiritual practice through prayer, meditation, classes, retreats and self-exploration. I feel blessed to be on this path and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my life’s purpose is to help others discover the joy of spiritual connection.

Did that resonate with you? Or did you just think, “blah, blah, blah…it’s that spiritual crap again!”

I know, I know. Sometimes this “spiritual crap” doesn’t seem realistic. Someone told me once, “I want to be more spiritual, I want to know the Divine within, but how does that pay the bills? I hate my job and my spouse is a jerk. Tell God to take care of that stuff and I’ll have time to be more spiritual.”

Yep, I get that a lot.

The point of developing a life that’s connected to Divine spirit isn’t so much about what you get, but what you give. It’s in the giving that we receive.

Don’t shoot the messenger. I didn’t come up with this plan.

I’ve just seen it quietly at work in my own life and in the lives of my family and coaching clients. And it’s more awesome than you can imagine. It’s where the magic of life happens.

Here’s an example:

A woman gave a $200 donation to a tsunami relief fund to help a devastated community thousands of miles away. It was a huge amount to her and wasn’t in her budget, but she gave from an open and loving heart. Over the next few days, she prayed for those affected and imagined her money bringing clean water and fresh food to hungry children.

A week later, she was gifted a lottery ticket and won $2,000.

Whaaat????

Yeah, it can happen like that. And sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes you do something from a place of love and it feels like you got shoved into the dirt. Get up. Brush yourself off and stay connected to love. Real love, not the manipulative “I’m doing this because it helps me” kind of love.

Keep living from love, doing your best to be connected to spirit so it flows through all you do and say. Not because of what you’ll get, but because you want to be an instrument for Divine love in this world. That’s the goal of a spiritual life.

When you stay on that loving path, miracles start to find you. Your life becomes magical.

Just ask my sister.

After many years of struggle, her life is now filled with joy. She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. She’s the one in the family who’s “always there” for any of us in a crisis…or any other time, for that matter.

In our family, she’s always the first:

- to meet you at the hospital emergency room and stay to drive you home
- help with the computer problem
- answer that weird tax question that everyone understands but you
- to answer the phone when you’re having a bad day and need to vent
- take a drive with you to clear your head
- come to every birthday, anniversary, holiday or “just because” family function, no matter where it is, or how much it costs to participate
- cheer on your every success, no matter how big or small
- encourage you in every way…especially when situations look impossible
- say “love you” at the end of text or phone conversations

She’s THAT one. The one everyone leans on, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or want someone to laugh at your stupid joke. Every generation in our family counts on her.

Her love and support is genuine and without expectations.

Is she spiritual? Yes, in every aspect of the word. She lives by allowing Divine love to flow through her actions and into the world. Has it always been easy? No. Like all of us, she’s had traumas, dramas and pain in her life. She makes mistakes. She chooses to live from love anyway.

What a joy to see what’s happened for her in this last year. She’s met the man of her dreams. Her prince. And she’s his princess. Spend time with them and hear their giggles, see the wide smiles and watch their eyes sparkle as they plan their future together which, of course, includes both families.

It’s like she hit the lottery. But not the one that pays money. It’s much more than that.

By connecting to her Divine spirit and living a life of loving service to others in the best way she knows how, she’s experiencing an abundant life. It’s filled with love, romance, security, fun, adventure....and magic.

I just love how this “spiritual crap” works.

Super Powers? Yeah, SUPER POWERS!

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A beautiful five year old boy named Christopher, looks his dad in the eye each morning and gives him the same instruction, “Remember your super powers today, Daddy!” Then off he goes to school.

Super powers? What in the world could this little fellow be referring to? Could he believe his dad has fantastic strength like Superman or a super intellect like Batman? Maybe. Could he be thinking of x-ray vision or the ability to fly? Probably not.

When I think of this dad, Robert, I think of his steady presence, kindness, wisdom and quick wit. Every time I’ve seen him, he’s appeared patient, curious, caring and genuinely interested in others.

Ohhh, now I get it! I understand his “super powers.”

Robert lives from Love.

To my mind, that’s more powerful than x-ray vision, flying and super strength combined! Just think what “powers” and benefits come with the ability to live from Love:

     · Forgiveness – forgiving yourself and others for past issues results in freedom from anger, frustration, victimhood and disease.

     · Trust – releases you from constant worry about the future and relieves you of the self-inflicted responsibility of controlling all aspects (and people) in your world.

     · Gratitude – energetically, when you feel truly thankful for anything in your life, you allow more good to flow to you. The result? You have more to be grateful for.

     · Presence – be in the NOW to experience life with a fresh, untainted perspective. New possibilities will emerge, challenges diminish and you’ll be more aware of the sweetness of life when you’re more fully in the moment.

     · Acceptance of others – learning to see individuals as unique expressions of Divine Love frees you from judgement of yourself and others. Do all problems disappear? Nope. But they get better when approached with understanding, respect and love.

     · Joy – my favorite super power! Keeping fear, overwhelm and judgement under control by tapping into the super powers mentioned above, energetically creates space in your life for play, peace, happiness and joy.

Do I think we’ll all have a perfect life if we choose to live from Love? No. But I believe the way we move through pain, sadness and grief will be significantly changed the more we experience life through the filter of Love.

Can we live from Love every minute of our lives? That’s my intention! Sometimes I fall short. Very short. When I don’t feel I’ve been as loving as I could, I forgive myself and keep going forward.

Thanks, Christopher, for reminding me that we all enjoy a fantastic life when we allow ourselves to live from Love.

Now that I’ve remembered my own super powers, I’m off to have fun. I’m going to play. Be silly. Feel free. And create even more to be grateful for while I live this life to the fullest.

Do Something You’ve Never Done

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.”

This saying, attributed to Virginian Thomas Jefferson, is on a silver cuff bracelet I wear often. I absolutely love it and what it does for me.

When I decided to write my first book, I had a deep desire to give quick and easy stress reducing tips to people suffering from long term stress. These tools had helped me endure an extended family health crisis and I wanted to help others in similar situations.

I was passionate about my project and spent hours on research, developing my outline and writing content.

Then I got tired. Suddenly it wasn’t that fun anymore.

Writing a book is a lot of work! Day after day spent writing, rewriting, editing, proof reading and rewriting again…it was exhausting. And I still had a coaching business to run. The process was definitely not as much fun as I’d envisioned.

But I was still passionate about helping frustrated and overwhelmed people find relief. My original intention never changed.

That’s when Thomas Jefferson came to my rescue. Every time I was busy finding something else to do, I looked down at my bracelet and I knew I had to write. I had to do something different, something uncomfortable, something I’d never done before if I wanted to help my future readers and become a published author. I had to see this project through.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.”

I’d repeat this phrase over and over as I forced myself to sit back down at my desk and write. Thanks to Jefferson (and a fantastic support team) today I’m a published author and have had the privilege of helping others through my work.

In hindsight, I wouldn’t change a thing. Understanding I had to “do something I’d never done” to achieve my desired result has been a priceless life lesson. Every minute of work was worth it when I saw How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody on Amazon for the first time. It was amazing.

Everyone has a “special project” that they’ve always dreamed about. So what’s yours?

I guess the big question is, “What will you do that you’ve never done before to ensure your success?”

Captain D and the Doobie Brothers: A Story for Veterans Day

There it was. In the back corner of a jewelry box drawer, hidden under a ticket stub from a 1976 Doobie Brothers concert, I found the silver POW bracelet that I’d worn during my high school and college years. I’d spent a thousand hours staring at the name on the bracelet and wondering what was happening to the man it represented.

Back in those days, these bracelets were sold for a small fee to support the effort to locate and return U.S. prisoners of war from the Vietnam conflict. Once purchased, the owner vowed to wear the bracelet 24/7 until the fate of the soldier was known. I prayed for those returned, for those still missing, for those who served and made it home, for the families whose lives were forever changed. I prayed a lot. I didn’t know what else to do.

Prayers seemed to be answered one day when Captain D’s name appeared on the returned list that was printed in the newspaper. I was ecstatic! I felt connected to him in some way and was overjoyed he’d be returning to his family. I remember getting an official blue sticker with a white star and placed that next to Captain D’s name on the bracelet which signified his release. Since this was before the days of the internet, I never knew what became of “my” Captain D.

As the years progressed, I graduated, got married and started having kids. Every so often, the bracelet would surface in my jewelry box, still an important reminder of those years. Captain D, in bracelet form, moved with me nine times over 40 years around Virginia and was used as a “show and tell” item several times by my kids. When I moved the concert ticket and saw the bracelet, it was like finding an old friend.

But this time was different.

I decided to try and find Captain D and offer him the bracelet. A quick Google search led me to his February 2012 obituary detailing the life of this decorated war hero who continued a distinguished military career after he returned from Vietnam. I was suddenly sadder than I should have been, considering we’d never met. Perhaps I’d been triggered by the loss of my own dad only six months before. I wondered if the family might be interested in my treasure. I called the funeral home and explained my mission. A very pleasant woman told me they’d contact the family with my information. Within an hour I got a call from Steve in Nevada.

“That’s a weird number,” I thought as I answered my phone.

“Hi, my name is Steve and I’m the son of Captain D. The funeral home just called to say you had one of my dad’s POW bracelets and you’d like to give it to us?” My heart stopped and I felt my eyes start to well with tears. It was hard to speak but Steve was patient.

We started to talk and both became very emotional. We shared the pride we felt for our fathers, how we wished our children could have known them as we did and how we missed our dads being a steady presence in our lives. We shared like strangers do when they have no fear of judgment and speak freely from the heart.

“Why did you call the funeral home?” Steve asked. “I mean, why did you call today?”

“I was cleaning out a drawer and found it under an old Doobie Brothers concert ticket,” I explained. “What? You’re never going to believe this,” Steve said. “I’m driving to a doctor’s appointment and I had this craving to hear the Doobie Brothers. I’ve got it playing on my IPod right now!” We both laughed.

I got his address and told him I’d take a few days to compose a letter describing the bracelet’s journey the past 40 years and send it to him, which I did. In addition to those details, I wanted the family to know why this project had been so important to me. Here is a portion of what I shared with Steve:

My own father died several months ago and he was my hero. As a young soldier, he had been held for a time in a German POW camp during WWII and had nightmares about it until the day he died at age 88.  Although he ran a successful business for decades, was active in local politics and sat on many community boards, he was haunted by his war experiences. My mother’s brother was shot down over France in 1944 and my mom waited to find out what happened for nearly 30 years. Although I don’t presume to understand what you, your mother and family went through, I do know how war affected my family.

I bought this bracelet as a way to support POWs and their families and bring attention to their situation. I wore it everywhere and never took it off.   I remember scanning the newspaper every time “the lists” came out searching for your dad’s name.  I first scanned the returnee list, and when I didn’t find his name there, I’d check the deceased list hoping not to find him listed. I prayed for your dad and your family every day.  The day I saw Capt. D’s name on the returnee list, I was ecstatic and hoped he was returned unharmed.  I believe I remember wearing the bracelet for a couple years more to remember the other POWs and those who were still missing in action. I am so delighted your dad came home to you. I know you must have been a young boy at the time, but I hope it helps to know thousands of people were sending love and prayers to your dad and your entire family.

           

With my own dad’s passing, it’s been a comfort to hear stories from others about him, to find notes in his handwriting or long forgotten mementos buried in drawers. When I found this bracelet I felt compelled to give it to him, or a family member. I am sorry I didn’t find your dad before his death, but I’m happy to have found you. If this does end up with your son as you mentioned on the phone, please tell him his grandfather was admired and respected by those who sincerely appreciate his service to our country.  Please know how much I admire the sacrifices your mother made as a military wife.

I know this bracelet has now found its way home.

I sent the bracelet off to Nevada, happy to know the family would have this keepsake. Within a few days, I received a beautiful handwritten note from Steve. He said he was going to share my letter with his mom when she visited for Easter and planned to give the bracelet to his own son, now a proud member of the military who had just the week before asked about his grandfather’s career. My tears flowed again as I felt so grateful to be a small part of this family’s story.

It is just amazing to me the way life flows, bringing people and events together at just the right time. It’s funny…whenever I think of meeting Steve this way and the stories we shared, I hear “Listen to the Music” by the Doobie Brothers playing in the background. 

Anika, Dad and the Zombie Princess

This week marks the second anniversary of my Dad's death. I decided I wanted to note the event, but from an upbeat perspective in this week's blog.

“What could I say?” I wondered…then I remembered the sweet gift I received from a gorgeous four year old named Anika and decided to share it with you (with permission from her mom, Anja).

After Dad’s passing, I was given the beautiful drawing you see with this blog along with the following letter:

Dear Diane,

I wanted to send something special to you and your family to let you know we care about you so much and you are in our hearts. I thought Anika could help with this by drawing you a picture of your father in in heaven. I explained that a dear friend of mine’s father did not die (because no one ever does), but he decided to leave his body. I wanted to send you an explanation of the picture and everything that’s in heaven, from a four-year old’s perspective. She shared in detail with me as she drew this picture, as she knew we would be sending it to you.

Bottom left:  your dad, you (Diane), your mom, Anika (she didn’t want to be left out), part of a person she had to start over with, and Kitty (her toy kitty she takes with her everywhere). Next to the kitty are some letters she learned to write in daycare (also above the others are some more letters).

Bottom right:  a rainbow, a flower and above the flower a “rainbow car” with wheels (she said it started as a dolphin but morphed into a car at the end).

Above your dad:  two hearts – a baby heart and a mommy heart. To the right of the hearts is a fairy (green), an angel (pink) and a zombie princess with pearls and string in her hair (because what heaven would be complete without a zombie princess!). To the right of the zombie princess is a ring (pink circle) and to the left are more hearts that got colored in.

Top right: the star shaped figures are a mommy and baby crown with skirts and feet. You also have a sun, blue sky and clouds.

I don’t know about you, but I think heaven is sounding pretty cool. 

Sending you and your family much love, 

– Anja & Anika

I miss my dad. When I'm feeling particularly sad, I look at this beautiful picture and see Dad in heaven with Mom, a pink angel, green fairy, rainbow car, crowns with skirts and feet....and a zombie princess.

It always makes me smile.

Love in Action

I’ve had a phrase running around my head for a while now and it’s “love in action.” What the heck does that mean? I decided it can take various forms for all of us.

You can:

Volunteer at a fundraising event.
Make dinner for a neighbor.
Give a donation to a cause you believe in.
Write a love note to your spouse.
Surprise a child with a special outing.
Take time to relax in a hot bath with healing oils.
Paint, write, sculpt, sing….create something from your soul that makes you happy.
Hold the door open for the person behind you as you leave a store.
Smile, make eye contact and say hello to a stranger.
Pick up trash in the park.
Patiently wait for an elderly person to safely cross the street in front of your car.
Donate to your community coat drive.
Share an inspiring story with a friend.
Send a private message to an old friend on Facebook just to “check in.”
Deliver gifts to a local animal shelter.
Share your unique talents with an organization that can use your expertise.
Donate books to your library.
Bring coffee or tea to an office mate.
Send a text to someone who’s grieving to let them know you care.
Spend a little extra time petting the cat.
Pray that we all find a way to live love, respect, kindness, truth and joy.
Shut your eyes and imagine a healthy planet. Hold that thought for several minutes.
Smile more.

While it’s tempting to think of this “love in action” as an exercise to help others, I think the real fun comes when we live our daily life from there.
Whoa. What would that look like?

Imagine paying bills, preparing dinner or delivering a talk for work all actions that are fueled by love. Grooming your dog, cutting the grass and yes – even laundry – could be examples of “love in action” if we looked at these actions not as chores, but as ways to consciously express love to ourselves, our families and the world. Think about that. I like it!

Love in action is simple. Fuel every action, deed and thought with love.

That’s my new intention. What about you? How could you live love in action?

Invest in Yourself!

I feel renewed. Energized. Fantastic! Why? I just invested in myself.

In late September, I traveled to Orlando to attend a signature event for Hay House Publishing called I CAN DO IT. The title says it all! In this three day event, many of the top Hay House authors host workshops on a variety of mind-body-spirit topics. An added perk for me was my book signing at the Balboa table, but my investment that weekend went well beyond any business opportunity.

I was not only introduced to new ideas I can immediately apply to my personal and professional life, but I also loved meeting people who share my interests and passion for learning! It’s invigorating.

I met total strangers who became new friends as we exchanged tips or recommended helpful books and blogs. We were all emotional at a star studded tribute to the recently deceased Dr. Wayne Dyer, who was a Hay House author for many years. We shared with each other in workshop exercises. Thousands of us meditated as a group. We danced with Dr. Robert Holden during his keynote speech. We had a blast.

We learned new ways to keep our body healthy, our mind clear and our spirit happy.

We invested time, money and focus on ourselves. It was glorious.

The experience reminded me just how important it is for each of us to invest in ourselves. I believe as we do so, we become happier, healthier and more creative benefitting everyone in our lives. It’s that important.

Yes, it’s smart to invest your money wisely, do those renovations on the house and buy a reliable car. You spend lots of time thinking about those investments. How much thought do you give to investing in your own mental, physical and spiritual health?

It may not always be possible to travel to an event. Bet there’s probably a few close to home you might enjoy. When’s the last time you checked? Have you ever tried an on-line class that interests you?

You could read a new book that stretches your understanding, explore a blog with a fresh perspective or have coffee with a friend and dig into an interesting topic. All great ways to invest in yourself!

You could walk in nature. Get a massage. Take a yoga class or follow along to a Tai Chi video on YouTube. Commit to a consistent meditation routine. Pick up the spiritual book you bought years ago and always meant to read. Take that relaxing bath you say you don’t have time for…do it.

When is the last time you invested in yourself? An even better question is, “what will you do now to invest in your mental, physical and spiritual health?”

I hope you answer this question and take action. Why? Because we all deserve to feel renewed, energized and fantastic!