When You Talk the Talk, You Gotta Walk the Walk

I’ve been less than honest with someone. Me. I realize I’ve been fooling myself. I hate when that happens.

Let me explain. I’m working on my second book, “The Empowered Spiritual Path,” based on the three month coaching program I’ve been using with my clients for the last few years.

I was writing this weekend and quickly found myself deep into the work. I was really “on fire,” in my frenzy, and produced nearly 4,000 words of inspired text between numerous loads of laundry, grocery shopping and paying a few bills.

“This is so great,” I thought.

Until I read what I wrote.

The chapter describes the daily routine I have clients commit to at the very beginning of my program. The specific actions aren’t revolutionary, but when done consistently and in a specific sequence, the process has produced miraculous results. Clients have reported feeling less stress, improved sleep, better relationships, feeling more peaceful, happy and more easily able to handle problems. They say they feel more connected to Spirit. Some have even reported measurable improvements in medical conditions. It’s magical, and it works.

Here’s the problem.

It occurred to me while I was reading the protocol, that I’ve been more lax than I realized in adhering to my own program. Crap! A slap of reality pie, right in the face.

“I’ve been traveling,” I thought. “This summer’s been so busy.” I said out loud to the cat who was lounging on my desk.

I swear she looked at me with her little cat eyes as if to say, “Hmmm…look who’s not walking her talk.”

Put in my place by my own cat. And my own guilty conscious.

I remembered I hadn’t been as energetic as usual the last couple months. I hadn’t quite felt myself and had trouble sleeping. I suddenly realized that while thought I’d only occasionally skipped a couple steps of my routine, I’d been inconsistent. Even my meditations had often been shorter than usual. I’ve been meditating for more than 20 years and that seldom happens. But it had. $@!#*&!!

I’d gotten off track and I was truly shocked. I fooled myself by not paying attention. I realize I’d substituted “various forms of busy” for my sacred routine. And I’d been living the result.

The cat was right. I wasn’t living in line with my teachings. Ouch. Sometimes the truth does hurt.

I’m now back to my consistent practice that works. And I’ll be aware of my actions. I’ll be diligent with my daily routine. I have to walk my talk.

Want to know how I know I’ll stay on track? I don’t want that cat judging me again….

Everyday JOY

Gazing into the face of your newborn, finding your soul mate, watching the sunrise from a beautiful beach or receiving an award from your peers can spark feelings of joy in all of us. But those things don’t happen every day.

I’m discovering joy is available to us even on those regular, run of the mill, “don’t seem too special” days. What do I mean by joy? According to Dictionary.com:

“Joy – Noun: The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.”

Now I’m no expert, but I’d add that joy is subjective and found in one’s unique awareness and appreciation of the “something” mentioned in the definition above. Here’s what I mean.

In the last week, I’ve found joy – true delight, happiness and elation – in the following situations that may seem mundane to you:

• Lunch with one of my old Reiki Master students who recently graduated college.
• Biting into a sweet, ripe watermelon on Labor Day.
• Watching my husband’s delight as he located keys that had been lost for over a year.
• Slipping between soft new white cotton sheets at bedtime.
• Trying a new organic recipe and having it turn out perfectly.
• Figuring out how to use an app on my phone.
• Finally filing papers that have been in a pile in my office for months.
• Discovering a Seinfeld episode I never saw – or had forgotten. Either way, it was new to me!

I think it’s fantastic when life surprises us with those big, beautiful post-to-Facebook kinds of moments. These are to be treasured and deeply appreciated. For most people, these are rare.

I believe we’re offered opportunities for joy every day while we go about the business of living our lives. All we have to do is be open and receptive. Look for joy today, wherever you are.

You may not find a “new” Seinfeld episode, but something cool will show up.

Touched by a Great Spirit

Image Source: drwaynedyer.com

“I express love and create harmony wherever I go” was the message on my Louise Hay calendar for Sunday, August 30th. Certainly a great message for any day, but especially that day. That was the day Dr. Wayne Dyer passed from this life to the next. He knew how to express love and create harmony. And he taught millions of us how to do the same.

I never personally met Dr. Dyer, but like many across the planet, his teachings have helped shape the person I am today. He was an awe-inspiring author and speaker who helped people find real solutions to everyday problems. His books helped me find my spiritual center and taught me to use that to improve every area of my life. Dyer is powerful on the page, but in person he was mesmerizing.

I saw him three times at various Hay House I CAN DO IT events in the last several years. No matter how far I sat from the stage, I could literally “feel” his presence and was riveted by the passion he brought to his talks. He was honest about his own challenges and failures. He was open about his own early resentments and how the power of forgiveness forever changed his life. He was a peaceful and powerful presence who seemed to exude love for all.

The most impressive to me, however, is how a self-help spiritual author and speaker positively and profoundly influenced the lives of so many people in our world. Not a politician, not an actor, not an athlete, but an author. What an incredible testament to the power of his work.

I am forever grateful there are people like Wayne Dyer who write, speak and live love. They remind us we are one, united by the same Divine energy that runs through us all. They point out that in any situation we can react from fear, or we can react from love. Thanks to Wayne Dyer’s teachings, millions are aware of this choice, and choose love.

Harry and the Peach Seed

Here’s a favorite blog I want to share again...

Harry is my dear friend and “adopted brother” who is a master storyteller. He has many tales of his beloved “Nannar,” his mother’s mother, who doted on him as her only grandchild. I especially love his peach seed story and I use it often with clients when I’m illustrating a point. It goes something like this…

One day when he was about eight years old, Harry was visiting Nannar in her rural Virginia home. As usual, visits to Nannar included time in her kitchen and on this day they were enjoying the juicy goodness of a fresh summer peach. As the seed started to emerge through the plump peach Harry was eating, he got an idea.

“Can we plant this peach seed?” young Harry asked.

“Of course,” Nannar replied. “We’ll plant it in the back yard where we can watch it grow through the kitchen window.”

A great plan Harry thought, so off they went to plant the seed. A suitable spot was found and under Nannar’s watchful gaze, Harry dug a hole, deposited the seed, covered it with dirt and added water. “Now we wait,” Nannar said.

Just a few days later, Harry asked his grandmother if they could dig the seed up and see how it was doing.

“You don’t want to do that,” Nannar cautioned.

“But why not?” Harry countered. He was an inquisitive lad and as an only child, was used to getting his requests quickly met.

“You planted the seed and watered it,” Nannar said. “Now you must wait and let it grow. It’s started to sprout under the dirt and when it’s ready, the plant will poke through the ground and you’ll see it grow into a beautiful tree. We’ll eat peaches from that tree one day,” she said.

“But I want to check on it now and make sure,” a stubborn Harry replied.

“OK, but if you disturb the seed, it’ll stop growing,” the wise Nannar said. “You have to trust the seed is doing what it needs to even if you can’t see the progress.”

“I want to dig it up,” Harry said.

“OK,” replied Nannar. They went into the back yard and she supervised as a determined Harry carefully dug up the seed to discover it had indeed sprouted.

“Look! It’s growing!” Harry said.

“It was,” his grandmother countered. “Now it has stopped growing,” she said.

“I’ll just put it back and it’ll be fine,” Harry said.

“You can put it back in the ground, but it’s too late for this seed to grow,” Nannar said. “When you plant a seed, you must be patient, wait and trust the seed is doing what it needs to even if you can’t see it.”

“It’ll be fine,” Harry said as he replanted the delicate sprout. “We’ll have a peach tree soon!”

For weeks afterwards, Harry would visit Nannar and run to the back yard to check on the progress of his peach tree. He’d water the spot if it looked dry.

Nannar would observe this ritual with a smile and say, “You have to trust the process Harry. You can’t dig up the seed and expect to grow a tree.”

Of course Nannar was right, and the seed never grew.

Harry told me that for years later, he would be sitting with his grandmother in the kitchen and she’d motion out the window into the back yard and say, “That’s where your tree would have been if you’d given the seed time to grow. That tree could have produced thousands of peaches by now and hundreds of new trees could have come from that single seed. When you plant something, Harry, you have to nurture it, be patient and trust in the natural process.”

WOW. Using a simple example from nature, Nannar beautifully explained a powerful life lesson. I love this story.

I’ve often wondered how many times in my own life I’ve planted a “seed” only to have been impatient with the process and “dug it up” before it had time to grow properly? I’ve done that with relationships, jobs and countless projects over my lifetime. Wish I’d had Nannar to advise me. But thanks to Harry, I do have her wisdom.

What “seed” have you planted lately? Do you know how to nurture it while you practice patience and trust it will grow?

Awake at 4 A.M.

4 A.M. Yep, that’s what the clock showed as I looked at it for the third time this morning. I was awake. Fully awake. The “I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of going back to sleep” kind of awake.

“I can beat this,” I thought as I adjusted my pillow and took a deep breath. My mind was buzzing. Thoughts whirled inside my brain like leaves on the winds of a hurricane.

I gave up around 5:30 A.M. and got up.

What had my mind racing, you wonder?

The idea of living a more joyful life. I don’t mean being super happy, but living from a place of real joy. I’d been thinking about this a lot lately when I found the perfect book to help in my quest. It wasn’t what I expected.

“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo isn’t the type of book I usually buy. But it had been recommended by a couple of my “metaphysical” friends who raved about the spiritual transformations possible by “tidying up” as Marie describes.

“I bet,” I thought sarcastically.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m a big fan of a clean, decluttered house. And while I always feel better in an organized space, I had my doubts that this method would greatly enhance my spiritual progress. I was wrong. It works.

I urge you to read this little book to learn the particulars, but the essence of Marie’s message is simple. In your personal environments, only surround yourself with items that “spark joy.”

The premise is brilliant. How could you help but feel grateful, abundant and productive when everywhere you look sparks joy? Not just nice, not just neat, but sparks joy? Wow. Guess that would qualify as life-changing and certainly transformational.

I’ve started the process and it’s nothing short of amazing. I feel lighter, happier and more peaceful. Incredible. We totally renovated our home last year, so I’d already donated or thrown out boxes of “stuff” and the remaining items had been carefully organized. This method goes even further. And now the bar has really been raised.

When considering a purchase of new clothes or household items, I take the time to ask myself, “does this spark joy?” If possible, I hold the item in my hand to see how it feels, or rather, how I feel about the item. It sounds crazy, even to me, but something’s working. I feel more joyful during the day. I’m dancing while I do the laundry. I feel grateful for the job each item has in my home and how it contributes to my life.

I know, it sounds nuts.

I’ve told my clients for years that “your external world reflects your internal world” and I believe it. While I wanted my external world to reflect joy, I never imagined I could have EVERYTHING in my personal environment do that. I’ve always had certain possessions that made me happy, but never a roomful. Thanks to Marie, I now understand how to do that. I even know how to tame the piles of paperwork that plague me. After I finish my tidying project, however, that won’t be an issue. How much more joy could I then experience?

That’s what I was wondering at 4 A.M. this morning.

My Angel Encounter

I’ve always love the striking images of beautiful angels found in Renaissance paintings. The detailed, graceful beings seem to exude love, peace and serenity. Ahhhh...I feel calm every time I see one. Those artistic images, and the angelic figurine that stood atop our Haworth family Christmas tree, were really all I knew about angels. Until I met one.

I became sick during my first pregnancy and delivered my baby girl 12 weeks early by emergency C-section. She weighed only two pounds. Her condition was serious and she struggled for life in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as I fought to recover from severe pre-eclampsia and aggressive infection.

When she was less than 48 hours old, I was resting in my hospital room when two stone faced young doctors came in. I’ll never forget the expression on their faces as they glanced at me, but stayed focused on the charts they held.

“Uh, oh. Why were two interns here? Why do they look like that? Why aren’t they looking at me?” I thought. I knew it was bad news, but how bad?

I was told my baby had experienced a "bleed in the head" and that this wasn’t uncommon with preemies born this early. They said everything could be fine. Or not. They explained she could be blind or severely brain damaged. They just didn't know. They mumbled “we’re sorry to disturb you” and hurried out of the room.

I’m not sure what was worse; the shock I felt, or the fear for my baby daughter. Since I’d been admitted, my then husband and family were in and out of my room all the time. But at this second, I was utterly alone and thoroughly terrified.

I began to sob uncontrollably when a lovely lady appeared at my door. She was a pretty brunette about 30ish, dressed in jeans and a top with a beautiful smile. She said she was from Roanoke and she'd seen me in the NICU when she was visiting her own premature baby boy. I'll never forget what happened next.

Never leaving my doorway, she said, "Don't worry, everything will be alright.” She smiled deeply, gazing into my eyes and continued, “Just take things day by day, and when that's too much, go hour by hour. When that seems like too much to bear, just take things minute by minute."

And she was gone.

I immediately felt a deep sense of peace that my baby would be fine. It’s hard to describe the ease that flowed through me when only seconds before, I’d been in a complete state of panic.

My husband returned to my room and after telling him about the visit, I asked him to take me to see our baby. I wanted thank the beautiful mother who had just given me the gift of peace. He quickly found a wheelchair, and off we went.

Guess what? Although I was on the NICU floor no later than 30 minutes after the young mother had seen me, I couldn't find her. None of the nurses knew who I was talking about and there was no baby boy there from Roanoke.

That’s when I knew.

I had been visited by an angel – the real kind. She had visited me to let me know all would be well and to teach me how to keep trusting. Over and over during the two months Stephanie was in the NICU, I found comfort in her words:

“Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. Just take things day by day, and when that's too much, go hour by hour. When that seems like too much to bear, just take things minute by minute."

Everything did turn out alright. Stephanie is now 30 and is a beautiful, loving soul with no physical issues. I still refer to her as my “miracle baby.”

When I’ve told this story over the years, it’s obvious not everyone thinks I saw a “real angel.” No matter. I’m forever grateful for the visit and words that gave me peace, strength and taught me to trust. That’s another miracle as far as I’m concerned.

Celebrating My Baby

My baby girl turns 30 this week. Thirty. I remember my mom telling me that time with your children flies by, but I didn’t believe her. She was right.

As I look at my beautiful, accomplished, loving daughter my heart overflows with gratitude. I’m grateful she chose me as her mother, I’m grateful for the adventures we’ve shared, and I’m forever grateful to be close and watch her as she continually grows and evolves.

We had a rocky start. I had issues with my pregnancy almost from the start. I developed severe pre-eclampsia and was admitted to an unfamiliar hospital an hour and a half away from home and was tended to by doctors I’d never met. My condition was critical and we both almost died. After six nerve racking days, my little Stephanie was born by emergency cesarean section. She weighed only two pounds and was 12 weeks early. My little preemie had an uphill battle to survive. She did more than that. She thrived.

That was my first indication of her spirit. She’s smart. She’s a fighter and a survivor.

Life has given her many challenges that people twice her age have never faced. She’s faced each hurdle, and come through stronger than before.

In the last few years, I’ve noticed something else. She’s becoming softer.

She married a wonderful man and through her marriage, I’ve seen her blossom into a loving wife, attentive hostess and thoughtful friend. All the while, she’s remained my beautiful baby girl.

As in any family relationship, it’s not all giggles and girl talk. Sometimes we “butt heads.” We’re both passionate in our beliefs and interests (although some family members interpret our passion as stubbornness). No matter. Regardless of the issue we’re working through, the underlying love is always there for me.

She’s taught me so much. I first understood unconditional love from holding her as a tiny baby in my arms. I marveled at her determination and spirit as she went through school and college. I admire her dedication to her family and her work as I now see her navigate the world as an adult. I’m looking forward to the day I see her as a new mother. I know she’ll be much better than I was. She’ll be awesome.

The next 30 years will be quite an adventure for our entire family. One thing’s for sure. I know it’ll be a great ride for my baby girl and me.