How I Found Real Connection Without the Internet

I'm just back from teaching a weekend workshop on my Be Love Principles for Unity of DC held at the beautiful Capon Springs Resort in West Virginia. This gorgeous family friendly resort is nestled in the mountains where traditional modern communication is tricky at best. It's a rare opportunity to "unplug" and truly relax and unwind in a stunning environment.

OK, I admit it.

It took me a minute to "unplug." While there were ways to communicate with the outside world (leave a message at the front desk or find one of a few hots spots on the resort campus) I came to see one of the most refreshing aspects of the weekend was simply surrendering to the circumstances. Little did I suspect the beautiful gifts that would follow.

I noticed a few things over the weekend.

Our group ate all meals together and the conversation was varied, deep, fun and fascinating as I opened freely to strangers and they opened to me. We swapped stories, exchanged recipes, commented on the endless supply of food and greeted other guests as they walked by our table. We sang "Happy Birthday" to the lady one table over as the staff wheeled out a cake and uttered "awww" in unison as an adorable toddler scampered by. I can't remember a more enjoyable time as each group member shared their unique story and life perspective. Only later did I realize no one was glancing at a phone or waiting for an email that inevitably would have disrupted the flow of friendly communication. I like this no phone thing at the table. (Wonder if my family members are reading this?)

I also noticed what happened when I surrendered to the quiet. At night with no TV or phone, I rested in my bed and could clearly hear the trickling sounds of the mountain stream behind my building, right off the back deck. The evening air was cool and crisp and I found myself easily able to relax into the quiet. I was surprised by this since I was dealing with a strained back and was physically uncomfortable. The sound of the water did help relax me and I noticed I was able to think about the workshop I was presenting in new ways. A different view on my work was able to emerge thanks to the quiet.

I've meditated for years so I'm used to the quiet. This was different. And amazing.

As the workshop sessions progressed, I felt free from the modern burden of constant communication. I had certainly come prepared to teach, but I found myself in a new sense of flow with the material. I was able, more than ever before, to allow the intelligent, creative and expansive energy of Love flow through me as I spoke to the group. When I was surprised by an attendee's question (this was an amazing and engaged group!) I was able to flow with a response. Could the presentation have been better? Certainly! And it will be as I incorporate my notes into the next class. 

As we ended the weekend, the pastor brought me into the middle of the room and the participants surrounded me for a final blessing and healing. It was powerful! I am so grateful to the amazing men and women who attended, to the spirit of Love that guided me and to the lessons I remembered about "unplugging" so I can "connect" to what's real.

My Seven Days of Silence

I’ve signed up for meditation classes where I spent significant time in silence. I’ve attended retreats where silence was a part of the program. I planned for these times, understood the purpose and made sure my family knew the schedule. I made sure everything was neat, tidy and effective.

I’m finishing up a seven day period that has been anything but planned, neat or tidy. Has it been effective? 

Try mind blowing. Life changing. I’ve experienced pain, healing and an honest to God epiphany. Yeah, I’d say it’s been effective.

Early last week I returned from a trip to Toronto with what I thought was severe laryngitis and flu like symptoms. I was diagnosed with a particularly nasty “bug” that sometimes effects travelers and was given heavy duty antibiotics with steroids. And ordered to be on “total voice rest” for seven days. SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT TALKING. This seemed impossible but since I could barely speak anyway and was in such pain, I agreed. I had to teach in 12 days and couldn’t have my voice compromised long term.

I believe physical symptoms are a result of internal issues and I tried to go to work figuring out my psyche. I was too ill. I decided to surrender to the experience and asked for guidance. I got it.

The first few days I was weak and stayed mostly in bed or on the couch. I began to notice a few things. Because I couldn’t speak, people stopped talking to me. I could text and had a small wipe off board to communicate with my husband, but he even stopped talking to me besides an occasional, “How do you feel? Need anything?” By the afternoon of day three, he took me for a ride to get out of the house and we went to a couple stores and to dinner. I had a note from my doctor that stated “total voice rest” that I’d show to store clerks or people we saw. To a person, when they realized I couldn’t speak they stopped talking to me. They’d gesture the way I had to or simply nod. What was THAT about?

My daughter tried a video chat with my beloved 15-month-old grandson but he was confused and uninterested when his GiGi couldn’t speak. He’s used to my voice and didn’t seem to connect to my image on the screen without sound. I missed talking with my kids and my cat was downright traumatized. Evidently, I usually talk A LOT.

My dear sister did her best to cheer me up with a visit on day four. We’d both been on trips and as she did her best to talk to me, it was obvious our normal communication style was severely altered. Bless her heart, she stayed for several hours as she told me about her trip and tried to interpret my gestures and the short hand notes I wrote on my board. We laughed, and I felt better.

The magic of the experience came as a result of looking at the events that had transpired in Toronto and keeping a small journal of my thoughts and feelings during the seven days. I did understand the emotional reason for my illness but didn’t yet realize the gifts that were in store.

As a result of not speaking, I felt terribly isolated and alone. I felt like no one understood or was “listening” to me. I felt like a burden to my husband, although he never did anything to insinuate that. It was all in my head.

I realized something. While this experience was only seven days for me, millions of people live with the feelings of isolation and loneliness every day, sometimes their entire lives. 

That realization was a physical blow to my heart. I felt it. Who could live this way? I saw the image of someone I know who recently took their own life. For a split second, I felt the agonizing pain of this person before the final event. Suddenly, in my mind’s eye I saw a cascade of pictures…elderly, refugees, prisoners, struggling parents, children in abusive situations, addicts, the terminally ill. The images went on and on. I couldn’t get them out of my head. 

I realized each of these haunted images were children of God, just like me and those I love. Suddenly they seemed more real. A part of me. Since I believe that we are all part of the energy of an intelligent Universe, of course they are each part of me. And part of you.

So what do we do? I asked that question and heard the answer very plainly, “Be love.” 

How does that work? Be the love you are. Live from your divine core. Start by being more kind and loving to yourself, your family and everyone and everything you encounter. Open your heart to hear divine guidance and you’ll always know what to do. Read about divine love, study it and talk to others about how to implement this in your own life. The divine intelligence within you knows exactly what to do. I was shown that by creating these “ripples of love” we can absolutely change our world.

Can these individual actions ease the pain of the people I saw? It’s a start.

I’m amazed by the changes and insights this quiet week has “gifted” to me. I know this level of understanding couldn’t have come about without the silence that allowed me to learn these vital “heart lessons.”

On day six of my seven days, this passage began my daily reading from Eileen Caddy’s “Opening Doors Within:”

“Every soul needs to withdraw from the world from time to time 

to find the peace which passes understanding.”

Perfect. Now to do my best to “be love.” Join me.

Top Five Things I Learned from the “Zombie Snow Apocalypse 2016”

Last week here on the U.S. East Coast, over 70 million people panicked as a “massive snow storm of historic proportions” was predicted for nearly a week before the first flake fell last Friday. We were told to prepare to lose power and to be stuck in place for up to a week. We panicked, right on cue.

I went to the grocery store, mid-day mind you, a full 48 hours prior to the weather event and witnessed people running around in horror like an army of the undead was circling the town preparing to feast on the chubby village folk. The food shelves were sparse, but I managed to get my essentials and returned to my car unscathed after waiting in the check-out line for nearly 30 minutes. While weathercasters dubbed the storm “Jonas,” it will always be the Zombie Snow Apocalypse of 2016 to me.

The weather guys got it right this time. The storm was a beast. In my area, about 50 miles southwest of Washington, DC, snow fell for nearly 36 hours straight dumping 30” around us. We typically don’t get that much snow in a year, much less at one time. To make matters worse, fierce winds between 35 – 50 miles an hour raged in the overnight hours sweeping the soft dry snow into massive drifts that trapped some people inside their home for days.

It was an interesting weekend. We never lost power so we could watch the storm from the perspective of our home as well as see news reports and the social media accounts of our friends. Everything was closed as government officials warned the public to stay put so roads could safely be cleared. Since I drive a Prius and my husband has a Mini-Cooper, we’re not on the roads much in the snow. Staying put was not a problem.

Now that the snow has passed, I thought I’d share the Top Five Things I Learned from the Zombie Snow Apocalypse 2016:   
 
1) Most people want to be of service. Over and over again, I saw people going above and beyond to dig out neighbors, walk through high snow drifts to rescue animals and offer help to strangers. To me, this is “love in action.”   

2) People need to feel “connected” to others. It was heartwarming to see how many people were checking on each other, posting snow photos and creating funny videos to share during the storm. Besides the occasional, “Do you SEE how hard it’s snowing out there?” my husband kept uttering, “OMG! Did you see this on Facebook?” I had texts and messages from friends in other parts of the world checking to see if we were safe and had power. Prayers and love were being sent to everyone enduring “Jonas.” Especially to the snow removal crews, police and emergency workers who were battling the elements. It’s true. “We are all one,” especially in emergencies.

3) Communication is key, and humor helps! No matter how much you adore another person, being snowbound together, and not knowing for how long, can be a challenge. Sprinkle in some fear (did you see those roofs collapse on TV?) and consume lots of bad-for-you-no-good sugary foods (everyone knows boredom + stress = sugar cravings) and the result can be frazzled nerves. After many years of marriage, my husband and I were both aware of potential pitfalls and were honest with our feelings. We communicated what we needed from each other. Being honest made the event fun instead of frustrating. And we felt free to be playful, even goofy. Here’s a goofy example: my husband shoved a plastic white shark toy into the snow and staged “snow shark” photos including one with his fuzzy bear hat attacking the shark, all for the amusement of his Facebook friends. Goofy and fun can definitely help pass the time during a snow storm.

4) People think they’re “funny” sending warm weather wishes. Oh, I’m not communicating clearly. This is what I mean to say: Hey, so happy you’re in sunny Hawaii, the Caribbean, Florida or freakin’ Australia enjoying beautiful sunshine and warm beaches. The first 100 photos you sent were cool, you know, the ones with the captions “wish you were here” but enough already. Yes, we’re posting lots of snow pictures and writing blogs, but this was an historic storm that even shut down Washington, DC for days. And to those who keep posting “I’m so jealous of the snow” from their beach chairs…no, no you’re not. We all know you’re not.

5) Parents of school aged children are the most fun to follow on social media. Our kids are grown so it was fun to watch posts start out from young parents saying things like “Can’t wait to build a snowman with our adorable crew.” A couple days in, messages became, “Kids are getting restless, but we’re having a wonderful adventure.” By day four I saw posts like, “FOR GOD’S SAKE SEND A DOG SLED LOADED WITH WINE!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER!”

Those precious parents are soooo cute. They’ll learn. Like we all have. No matter how bad the ice storm, or how deep the snow…spring is on the way.

All we have to do is hold on.