Monday, February 25, 2019

Love in Laughter and Tears

Our hearts don't really break, but sometimes it feels like it. And if often happens at the most peculiar times. For me, it happened just this past weekend.

Saturday was my darling grandson's second birthday and a time for great joy as our family gathered to celebrate. Several of his toddler friends attended the party and added to the fun. For hours we heard giggles, belly laughs and the occasional joyful shriek as the children played and the smiling adults mingled, ate good food and watched the fun.

It was as glorious as a two-year-old party could be.

While I was there, I was totally caught up in the excitement, but in the day's quiet times, my heart was heavy. Earlier in the week, a "kid" from our old neighborhood had died. And I heard the bubbly blonde cheerleader who graduated from high school with me had died as well. The morning of the party, I learned a beautiful young mother I knew through our Course in Miracles on line group had succumbed to cancer. 

Laying in my bed that night I my heart was full of joy thinking of the life ahead for my beloved grandson and at the same time, I felt such sadness for the lives that had ended. It was a weird feeling. And I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

As I allowed myself to feel the sadness, I decided not to judge the recent deaths as "right" or "wrong." As best I could, I abandoned the idea that these departures were "too soon" or "unfair." I decided to relax into the only thing that was true, eternal and real. I relaxed into love.

I imagined those souls who had passed and all who knew them surrounded by love, which to me looks like an effervescent pink and white glistening mist. I blessed them all and silently honored their life journey. I prayed that the families found the comfort they needed in this time of grief and I thanked each soul for being part of our shared experience.

I also remembered to relax into the love that was filling my heart thanks to my grandson. Grateful tears filled my eyes as I thought of the joy and new energy he had brought to our entire family and the happy years I expected to come.

Right before sleep, I remembered that love is ever present in the laughter of toddlers and the tears of the grieving. It’s the current that runs through life and helps each of us no matter what step we are on our journey.