Here’s Your Sign

I believe in signs. I mean Divine signs. From God, Universe, Source – whatever you call the intelligent, creative energy that makes the flowers bloom, causes the ocean tides to come in and out and organizes the solar systems.

And I believe you can ask for Divine guidance and have your answer delivered by signs. You just have to pay attention to what’s happening around you and be open to receive.

A few months ago, I was working on a proposal to speak at a large conference and remember thinking to myself, “I’d love to have a little help with this from someone who already does keynote speeches to large groups.” Within days I had heard the name of a lady who does just that in the Northern Virginia area. Not once, but her name came up in a couple conversations. Hmmm…

I sent her a Facebook message and got a response the same day. After an initial call, I hired her to help me with my project. It’s a perfect partnership! She’s EXACTLY what I needed and I became aware of her EXACTLY when I needed someone with her expertise. Good thing I pay attention to signs.

Some people will say this was a happy coincidence or perhaps a case of serendipity, but I know a Divine sign when I see or hear it. And I’m not the only one.

I had a new client who had been referred to me by a coworker. Although we’d had a lovely conversation on the phone when she made her initial appointment, this lady was nervous. She’d never had any type of coaching before and as she left her office to drive to our first session, her nerves were getting the best of her.

She told me she was scared and wondered if she was doing the right thing. As she was stuck in traffic, she said out loud in her car, “What should I do? Please give me a sign.”

As she finished uttering those words, a utility van in the lane next to her moved up so she could clearly see the advertising sign on the bus behind it. On the sign was the photo of a kind lady staring at her wearing a phone headset. The huge headline read DIANE CAN HELP.

“As soon as I saw that sign, I knew I had to keep our appointment!” she told me as she recounted the story. I’m so glad she noticed the sign and started her healing journey that very afternoon. She was able to release traumas from her past and create a new life complete with a job she loved and a healthy romantic relationship.

Maybe not all Divine signs are quite that direct…or maybe we’re too busy to notice?

Mishap or Miracle? It Could Just Be Perspective.

I love the way little vignettes in our everyday life can teach us the most powerful lessons. That’s what happened this past weekend when my brother Bill and I accompanied our sister Kathy on an overnight trip to Virginia Beach to celebrate her birthday.

We realized on the four hour drive down, this was the first time in decades that the three of us had been on a trip by ourselves without spouses, parents or children in tow. We reminisced about childhood vacations and reflected on our adult children and the life paths they’ve chosen. We shared secrets, insights and dreams for the future. We had a blast!

The past few years we’d been connected by the constant issues with our parent’s failing health. Now that those challenges were behind us, we deeply reconnected as siblings, and as friends who respect and love each other. It was a beautiful gift my sister gave us when she asked us to join her on this trip. I didn’t realize another gift was coming later in the day.

We met Bill’s son and his new bride at the Virginia Beach Aquarium (they live in the area) and had a beautiful day exploring the exhibits together. Although it was the end of March, the weather was cold and a bitter wind blew all day. The unusual temperatures couldn’t dampen our spirits, however, and we parted so we could check into our hotel then regroup with my nephew and his wife for dinner. That’s when my lesson arrived.

Bill, Kathy and I had been complaining all day about the unseasonable cold as we darted back and forth to the car. On the way to the restaurant in the late afternoon, Bill and Kathy were chatting in the front seat checking direction when I noticed something weird outside. It was snowing. It was very lightly snowing. IT WAS SNOWING ON MARCH 28TH IN VIRGINIA BEACH! Ok, it was flurries, but it was snow.

Quick to alert my siblings, I blurted out, “CRAP! It’s snowing! I can’t believe after the winter we’ve had we’re getting snow flurries here!” I might have sounded a tad dramatic, but I was weary from the months of snow we’d already endured this year.

“Oh…wow!” my sister gasped. “Snow on my birthday at the beach - it’s the perfect gift!”

Whaat? Was she nuts? How could Kathy think this was the perfect birthday gift? Then I got it.

My darling sister is much better than I am at embracing the unexpected. What I saw as a tragic mishap of nature, something I hadn’t expected on a spring beach trip, she saw as a miracle.

She saw magic in watching delicate flakes of snow dancing in the March wind against the backdrop of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. She celebrated the unexpected. She saw it as a gift, and delighted in it. She chose to see the snow as an “unexpected magical miracle.” As quickly as it began, the snow ended and Kathy enjoyed every minute of it.

“How much different would my life be if I choose to embrace the unexpected? If I look for the miracles in scenarios I can’t change?” I wondered to myself. “Wow,” I thought as I began to fully appreciate the ramifications of that slight change in perspective.

I was already grateful for this trip with my brother, sister and family on this special weekend. I hadn’t expected the gift of such an impactful life lesson.

Hmmm…just another one of the million things I thank my sister for.

I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Oprah, Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay are just a few of the many people who believe that what you think creates your reality. I certainly believe it! Chapter three of my book “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody” is about just that. It’s entitled “You Are What You Think” and now I have a new story to prove it.

Twice in the last two weeks I’ve mentioned a magazine to people in casual conversation and, more specifically, a particular annual issue of that magazine. Both times I noted silently to myself that I’d like to see that issue when it comes out this spring. I felt strongly there was something I needed to see. Then I forgot all about it. That is until the specific issue of that specific magazine showed up in my mail box.

My husband brings the mail home from our post office in town. As I was going through the mail pile a couple days ago, I spotted it – the magazine! I don’t subscribe to it and was shocked to see in my hands not only the magazine I’d been talking about, but the exact annual issue I’d wanted to see.

“Whaaat?” I said out loud. “Where’d this come from?” I wondered. I noticed the magazine was addressed to someone whose post office box was directly underneath mine. “WOW! Just what I wanted!”

“OK, it’s a coincidence,” my husband said.

“The exact issue I was thinking about? I manifested this!” I countered.

I started flipping through the pages and asked silently, “Now what am I supposed to see here?” The magazine fell open to an article that answered a question I was having in my business. Yeah, a coincidence. Right. I can’t make this stuff up.

I copied the article and returned the magazine to the post office so it could be delivered to its owner. I’d already had the magazine delivered to me by the Universe.

At least that’s what I think.

We Bought a Zoo

Daddy and I enjoy the Zoorama train - 1960

Funny how little life events can bring back a flood of memories. I was in my watercolor class this week, beginning a new painting of a zebra. For some reason, I was pretty excited about this new subject matter, and didn’t understand why. Then I remembered. Back in 1960, we bought a zoo.

Well, it was kind of a zoo. It was called Zoorama located in New Market, Virginia and I remember Mom told me Dad and some friends invested in the tourist attraction in early 1960. According to an article I found from the March 6, 1960 Philadelphia Inquirer, it was an 80 acre park housing over 67 species from 23 countries that included a petting zoo and small circus display. (See the article here: http://bit.ly/18JXHKt) I don’t remember that. I just remember the magical place I’d go with my parents and little sister. I remember the animals. And I remember the train we’d ride in that circled the park. Because I was only about three, the details are faint, but the feelings are still strong.

I remember being genuinely surprised by new creatures I’d never seen, the feeling of being safe in my dad’s arms as I reached out to pet a camel, and of experiencing the bliss that only a young child, free from daily worries, can enjoy. It was pure magic for me. Not so for my parents.

I was told, decades later, that Zoorama was on Route 11 in Virginia’s beautiful Shenandoah Valley and attracted thousands of visitors from all over the east coast. That is until just a couple years after my parent’s invested, and the new interstate came through western Virginia. This forever changed the tourist traffic pattern which, according to my dad, “killed” the business. I recall we stopped going to visit the animals and Dad started spending a lot of time in meetings and on the phone. Mom told me later that he spent countless hours calling zoos and sanctuaries all over the country trying to find homes for the animals after the park closed to the public. Evidently, it was a huge financial mess for my parents. Only years later would Dad even talk about it.

When we were cleaning out my parent’s home after Dad moved to an assisted living facility, my brother, sister and I found a few Zoorama flyers and carefully packed them in a box and put it into storage with much of the rest of our childhood. No matter. Starting to paint this watercolor zebra brought the magic of this childhood memory back to me.

No, our family experience wasn’t like that of Matt Damon’s character in the 2011 movie We Bought a Zoo, but it was pretty cool.

 

Me at the Zoorama "petting zoo"

A Birthday to Remember

I had some trouble writing my blog this week. Had a few good ideas, but I couldn’t get anything to work. The flow just wasn’t there.

“What’s the trouble?” I said out loud to my cat. Then I remembered. This Friday, February 27th would have been Dad’s 90th birthday. Yep, there’s the issue. I miss my dad.

As a coach, I’m the first person to tell anyone who’ll listen that grief is individual and doesn’t have a specific “end date.” Everyone grieves in their own way. I help my clients honor their grief and explore healthy ways to move through extreme sadness while they continue with life. I had help with my own grief process, and thought I’d done very well with my dad’s long illness and eventual death in October 2013 at age 88. So why was his birthday getting to me? Think I figured it out.

For the rest of my life, February 27th will be Daddy’s birthday. A time to celebrate the man and remember the many ways he helped make me the woman I am today. Ninety is a milestone birthday, and he and I had actually talked about it nearly ten years ago. We’d planned what we’d do, where we’d go. Now the plan has changed, but I know what I’m going to do.

I’m going to celebrate how Dad shows up in my life now. I’ll appreciate the smiling photos on the wall of happy family trips. I’ll be sure to notice how Dad lives on through my children as I marvel at my daughter’s strategic mind and appreciate my son’s love of nature. I’ll see his eyes in my own reflection in the mirror. I’ll be aware of it all.

I’ll also remember how grateful I am that my parents were close to my kids and were an important part of their childhood. I’ll appreciate the fact that my dad was part of my life until my mid-fifties and that I was learning from him throughout his life, and beyond. And I’ll give myself a break and realize it’s OK for me to miss him. Because I do, every day. Happy 90th birthday, Dad. Love you….

If you have time to bitch, you have time to meditate. Really.

It kinda drives me crazy when people tell me they don’t have time to meditate. They have time to play Farmville for hours on Facebook, ramble on and on about everything in their life that isn’t working, and even report watching entire weekends of The Real Housewives marathons. They have time for those things, but not time to incorporate a life changing practice into their daily life. Interesting.

Everyone needs to “let off steam,” vent or get something off their chest from time to time. I understand that. I do find it interesting when people develop a habit of constantly complaining or “bitching” without ever trying to take any corrective action. Must be the life coach in me kicking in. I don’t get it. I do know, for some, bitching is a competitive sport. They seem to find pleasure in retelling the same woes for years. It’s a strategy, but one that usually keeps the person in victim mode. It’s all about informed choice.

So let me inform you. Meditation has been proven to be effective in releasing stress, improving health and even helped people put their finances back on track. I’ve heard as little as five minutes a day can make a positive difference in your life. Now really, you don’t have five minutes a day? If you believed meditating five minutes a day could change your life for the better, would you do it? Of course you would. Start at five minutes and work your way up to twenty minutes or more per sitting to see an incredible shift in your life. No kidding.

Check out the thousands of books, articles, cds and videos on the subject if you don’t believe me. You’ll not only find research supporting the positive effects of a consistent meditation practice, you’ll find many examples of the ways you can meditate. There is a simple meditation style to fit everyone.

I think meditation is so important it’s the subject of the first chapter of my book How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody. Read my book to see how it all fits in, but know for now that a daily meditation practice keeps me more balanced, happy and open to all the good life has to offer. Result? I don’t feel like slapping anyone.

Yes, I’m on Facebook, I’ll occasionally have my own tale of woe to tell my sister and have watched an episode or two of The Real Housewives (that NeNe cracks me up) but it’s all done after I’ve meditated at least once that day. Meditation comes first each morning and I work to include a second session between late afternoon and evening. Each day, every day. No exception.

Meditation is magic. It’s healing. It’s free. And you definitely have time for it.

OMG! I’m Looking at Greeting Cards ‘from the Cat!’ How Did THIS Happen?

So here I am, in the greeting card aisle, looking for a romantic card for my sweet husband and I spy the category (yes, it’s a category) “From the Cat.” I pick up a card. I read it. I love it. I buy it. WHAT?

I’ve always admired and been fascinated by animals but I’m not the type of person who has to have an animal as part of the family. I have had beautiful pets over the years and loved them but when they were gone, they were gone.

When I married my current husband in 2004 he actually came with an adult cat named Smokey. At the time my still-at-home teenage son and I thought it was a good selling point. We all loved, adored and spoiled dear Smokey until she took her last breath at age 17 in December 2010. We were truly devastated when she died and still miss her.

Over the next year after Smokey’s death, my adult kids tried to convince me that I “needed” another cat. Nope, not me. I’m fine thank you. I was busy with my intuitive coaching practice, taught weekend workshops and helped my siblings care for our elderly father. My schedule was chock full of “stuff” to do and I thought I needed “one more thing to care for” like I needed another ten pounds on my thighs.

As the months wore on, I saw my daughter married in October of 2011 and my son graduate from college in May 2012. By mid 2012 my dad had gone to live in an assisted living facility so the daily responsibilities for his care were over. Time to breathe a little…or so I thought.

The morning of Saturday, July 28, 2012 was a scorcher. Our area had suffered several 100 degree days and this was the same. As I sat comfortably in my family room watching a movie, I heard a weird little noise coming from the back deck. I looked up to see a tiny grey stripped kitten “knocking” on my glass door.

“Oh no,” I thought. ”You’re not going to get me with that cute little kitten face. Nope, not me, Sister!” I tried to turn back to watch my movie. I really tried. Really. I did. But it was soooo hot…

I got up and moved toward the door thinking the kitty would scamper away. That did not happen. I stared at the furry face through the glass muttering, “no, no, no…” all the while feeling my resolve start to melt. Damn.

To make a long story short, I have a cat. Or, I should say, a cat has ME, my husband, more toys than a typical spoiled two year old, a kitty pirate ship (yeah, a pirate ship), a cushy bed, organic food and a gallery of photos that have been texted to friends and family whether they wanted to see them or not.

Our house has a new sense of fun, play and love. Since we married a bit later in life, my husband and I never raised little kids together so Rory Grace is our first “child.” (We are learning to co-parent just in time for grandkids who we expect to arrive in the next few years.) Rory kisses us on the nose, jumps in bed to wake us each morning and gives us more unconditional love than I thought possible from an animal. And she’s just beautiful. I mean “model cat” beautiful. Check my Facebook page if you don’t believe me.

About the time Rory arrived, my dad started a painful decline and her loving presence made a difficult time a bit easier. After all, everything’s better with a nuzzle from a beautiful cat.

What a lesson Rory has taught me. I’ve come to understand the Universe offers the perfect gifts just when we need them. I was so afraid to have “one more thing to take care of” that I didn’t realize I was the one who needed a little extra love. And now I’m the woman buying greeting cards “from the cat.” I never saw that coming…