I Hate When That Happens…

Ever know you need, should, could do something…and you don’t? You mean to, you really do, but other tasks pop up. In your mind you say, “I’ll get right to it after I finish this.” But you never do.

And you end up regretting it.

I hate when that happens.

Mostly I hate knowing I could have easily avoided an unpleasant situation. All I had to do was listen to that little voice within that I rely on for guidance, support and balance. The divine voice from my soul that speaks truth to my life and always guides me to my highest and best. It’s the part I teach my coaching clients to relax into, to trust, to follow above all else.

Now why wouldn’t I listen to THAT?

The same reason you don’t always listen. We’re human. We make mistakes and we don’t always follow through on the guidance we receive. Even when we know better. We think we don’t have time, we’ll “get to it later” or we come up with a million rational sounding reasons why the guided action can wait.

Nope. You get specific guidance at the perfect divine time for you. That’s how it works. Every. Single. Time.

And still we resist.

That’s what happened to me last month. I’ve had a beautifully busy few weeks and realized some days my schedule was so tight, I didn’t even have time to eat during the day. To make matters worse, I was so excited about new projects, that I was finding it hard to sleep. Very unlike me.

I kept hearing “schedule more meditation time,” “relax,” “eat clean foods,” and “no need to rush.” I was tired, not paying attention to the signals my body was sending or what I was feeding it. All the while my divine voice was doing its best to guide me.

But I didn’t listen. I received the message and didn’t take the action I was given. (Sound familiar?)

I got sick. Like had to “go to the doctor” sick. I came home to start my antibiotics and eat a slice of humble pie. (Not my favorite.)

I’ve learned – again – that no project, work schedule or even family obligations can have my full attention when I’m in the land of “busy.” Only my ego thinks I’m “too busy.” My soul trusts everything is happening at the perfect time and will guide me each step of the way.

I only have to listen…

How To Get Out of Your "Cage"

Yep, that’s me with my beautiful two-year-old grandson, Emory, posing inside a shark cage during a visit to the Virginia Living Museum in Newport News, Virginia. I had a fantastic day with my daughter, son-in-law and Emory as we explored this fabulous museum and enjoyed a weekend getaway to Williamsburg. My daughter and I were exchanging the dozens (OK, maybe dozens and dozens) of photos we’d taken and this one stood out.

Like many families, ours has been under stress lately and this mini vacation gave us the space to take a breath. Relax. Do something different. Have FUN.

As I looked at the photos of our adventure, this one stopped me in my tracks. I suddenly understood a truth I’d forgotten in the stress of the past few weeks. It was so apparent as I gazed at this picture.   

The stress we’d been experiencing was a “cage” created by our thoughts. Yes, we’d lived through a tough family situation, the trauma was real. However, as I looked at this photo, I realized that after we acknowledged and dealt with the event, only our thoughts kept the drama of the situation alive.

Emory and I had walked through the open side of this shark cage to take a goofy picture. And we walked out. Because he’s only a toddler, we walked in and out a few times.

Just like that shark cage, I realized I’d “walked in and out” of the cage I’d created in my mind a few times. More than once, I’d forgotten the side was open and I could walk out of this cage anytime I changed the way I thought about the situation. I realized I could get out of my "cage" anytime I wanted.

The things you learn on vacation….

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

This is always an exciting time for me. It’s a time of reflection, review and remembrance. 

This year I’m reflecting on the events of May 19th when I was given what I now call “The Be Love Principles.” This experience was truly life changing for me and you’ll hear more about it in 2019. I’m reviewing my business and what worked and what didn’t. I’m celebrating my successes and noting things to change. And I’m remembering, with gratitude, the people who impacted me this year. Not all those “impacts” were pleasant, by the way. But each unpleasant situation gave me an opportunity to realize I was being called to be more loving, compassionate and kind. Not always an easy lesson, but it has become my life’s work.

I’m also remembering those who were here to celebrate last year and this year are not. Life is indeed short, and I understand, more than ever, we’re here to live love in the way we’re being guided.

One more thing that I understand. How the new year unfolds for me is up to ME. Oh, I love the numerology, astrology and other predictions that I see this time of year. Who doesn’t want a sneak peak into the future? But I understand that nothing, not what the President does, the stock market index, how my husband behaves, my health, what money comes in…NOTHING is as important as my thoughts about each of those things. 

As I do my best, day by day, to keep my thoughts dedicated to love and to being the presence of love for myself and others, my experience of the world is more at peace. No matter what the TV news reports.

In addition to the success review I discussed in the last blog, I’ll be asking myself these questions as we ring in 2019:

• What is most important to me now?
• How can I live more deeply into that truth?
• What new habit(s) do I want to anchor into the new year to support me?
• How open am I to allowing spirit to guide my actions? 
• And how can I be even more open?

I am so grateful for your support and surround you in love, light and the truth of who you are.
Happy New Year!

The Holidays are in FULL SWING...So is the STRESS!

The Thanksgiving turkey is now a faint memory which can only mean one thing…the holidays are ON!

What are you expecting this holiday season?

• Frantic shopping and spending more than you planned?
• Indulging in too much food and drink resulting in extra pounds and lots of guilt? 
• Hectic schedules that only create more stress and feelings of overwhelm?
• Waaay to much time with the friends and relatives who get on your last nerve?

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Of course not! These results usually occur when we forget to go within and ask Love (God, Universe, Spirit) for guidance. Make this year different.You could experience a truly divine holiday with just a little planning and intention. 

Here are a few tips on how to connect to your inner wisdom (divine voice of love) to enjoy the season:

Gift giving: think about the goal of the gift. Is it to reward or recognize an employee or coworker? Show your love to a child? Demonstrate your appreciation to a loved one? Participate in a gift giving party activity? Ask yourself, “what am I trying to show with this gift?” 

Next imagine the recipient, close your eyes, take a deep breath in, relax and simply ask, “show me the perfect gift for ___.” You may get an image, hear an ad for a specific product, get the idea to bake or make your gift, give a charitable donation in their name or offer an experience (dinner, concert, drive in the country) as your present. Take your time and allow the answer to come. This may even take a day or two. Remember you have a choice. You can be overrun by our consumer culture or be guided by love in your gift giving. 

Over indulging: what is it about the holidays that implies you must eat and drink yourself silly? Stop. Set a silent intention before the party or trip to the grocery store. The reminder here is to stay present with how your body feels. Stick to your drink limit and be aware when you feel full. If you’re going to be in a social situation for a few hours, simply pace yourself. Say no to offers of additional drinks and food that you know makes you feel uncomfortable afterwards. It’s OK to politely refuse to indulge when you know you’ve had enough. At the grocery store stick to your list and when that all too tempting goodie appears at the end of the aisle (like you know it will) ask yourself, “do I really want this or am I just responding to clever product placement?” Feel your answer. Act accordingly.

Hectic schedules leading to stress and overwhelm: here’s the BIG SECRET everyone forgets about holiday schedules. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR SCHEDULE. Yes, I know you simply must make it to the neighbor’s party and it’s on the same day as that work thing which is right after the school play…guess what? The way to truly enjoy the holidays is to be more intentional about what you do and where you go. Period. Yes, that means you could SKIP some of those events! How do you decide? Tap into your inner wisdom and ask, “Which activities will bring me joy and allow me to bring joy to others?” It’s that easy. Of course, you want to attend a child’s play and see your beloved Aunt Elna and Uncle Bill for brunch but be more discerning about where and why you choose activities. Ask Love to help you! Think of it this way. Is it more important to attend more activities and feel resentful and stressed or fewer events that you truly enjoy? It’s an easy choice if you let it be.

Waaay too much time with friends and relatives who get on your last nerve: Love’s got you covered here as well! You probably know which people tend to trigger you. Before you interact with them, ask Love questions like, “How can I see ____ differently? Show me the lesson here? How can I be more at peace with this relationship?” A few days before that big, uncomfortable holiday family event you could sit quietly, go within and journal the responses you get to your questions. Above all, go into these situations with a loving attitude and intention to enjoy yourself.

Now this doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Just a few more tips to help this holiday be your best:

• Remember to get enough rest, stay hydrated and eat your veggies! Yes, have some of the holiday stuff but don’t forget the basics of self care.
• If you don’t think you have time to meditate, that’s a sure sign to double your efforts! This is a practice that will not only help you feel more connected to the divine within, but you’ll feel connected to the meaning of the season and to your loved ones even more.
• Give yourself a break. Forgive yourself and others when things don’t go the way you planned. Allow the divine to come into to every situation and look for the love there.

Now go forth and enjoy the next few weeks! When you feel unsure, stuck or at a loss remember to go within and ask, “Love, what do you want me to know here?”

Obstacles on the Road of Life

You know what I mean…those obstacles that you believe prevent you from living your best life.

Divorce. Health crisis. Family drama. Death of a loved one. Financial issues. Yep, in one form or another we’ve all experienced road blocks, obstacles and difficulties on our life path. But what do you do with the road blocks? That’s the challenge.

Sometimes the obstacle is just a bump in the road, sometimes it feels like the only bridge “off the island” has been washed away and you feel “stuck” in place until you can be rescued.

I know the feeling. While I’ve weathered my share of obstacles in life, I realized I was given a fresh insight recently. I’ll explain.

My sister and I were traveling back from a delightful weekend at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York where she attended a workshop. I spent a blissful few days reading, writing and walking the grounds of this beautiful wooded campus.

On our way home to Virginia, my sister was mindfully driving south on the busy interstate through a rocky and winding section of Pennsylvania. We were talking, laughing and enjoying the trip when we rounded a corner and suddenly – in our lane – was a heavy industrial metal double sink and additional debris. In an instant, she navigated traffic in the adjacent lane to miss the wreckage and bring us safely forward.

In a split second it was over. I looked at her and realized our lives could have taken a drastic turn if she had hit the debris which could have propelled us into on coming traffic or plunged us off the steep ledge into the valley below.

Scary, but it happens.

We both gave a sigh of relief and said, “Thank you, God!” several times as we continued our journey. Not ten minutes later, in an even more perilous situation, more dangerous road debris suddenly appeared. This time an unsuspecting car merging into traffic from an on ramp, sped forward not knowing my sister had to quickly cut him off to avoid the rubble thus risking a collision. She didn’t have a choice. No time to react, no safer way to avoid a crash. She just did it and, again, a chorus of “thank you, thank you, thank you!” resounded through the car.

Evidently my sister can drive like Mario Andretti. Who knew? Not me!

As I marveled at her driving skill and tried to calm my nerves, yet ANOTHER near miss occurred. I can’t make this up! A tractor trailer in front of us quickly swerved to reveal some sort of huge beam that spanned the entire lane…another brush with disaster that my skillful sister avoided “just in time.”

We looked at each other in disbelief. That was the last brush with possible tragedy for the day and we arrived safely home a few hours later.

Thank you God, thank you Sis!

Within twenty-four hours, I was driving the fifteen minutes from my home to town and took “the back way” along an unmarked country road to enjoy the summer day. As I rounded a tight curve, I saw a downed tree blocking my lane. Whaaat!?!

Not knowing if a car was coming towards me and not having an option to pull over or turn around, I swerved and safely avoided yet another possible calamity.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?” I thought, truly terrified and fearful I had been cursed and doomed to certain catastrophe.

Then it happened.

Amid my frantic thoughts, a calm internal voice arose.

And I knew. I suddenly knew, without a doubt, what had happened.

My sister had repeatedly avoided certain disaster the day before by instinctively following her inner guidance. The divine within her safely ushered us both around the road blocks to safety.

No question. I was there. She didn’t have time to recognize, assess and react to the road conditions. We couldn’t discuss her options, Google possible scenarios or call anyone for advice. She followed her guidance, without having time to think about it. And we were safe.

The next day, yet again, I was delivered from danger by surrendering to my own inner guidance. Following my unconscious “instincts” brought me to safety. Again.

I got it.

I suddenly knew that the road debris was a symbol for “road blocks” in life. Whether it’s stress over upcoming bills, concerns about weight, relationship challenges – the specifics don’t matter. The truth is that the God within each of us, that inner divine spark of the Universe…whatever you want to call it, knows how to navigate life for our highest and best. Our job is to relax into spirit and trust. I realized the “rescue team” comes from within. 

Once I understood this message, I was suddenly calm, my breathing steady. I felt totally serene.  

I get it. Rest assured I’ll be doing my best to fully utilize my internal GPS in the future and I hope you do too. What does that mean?

Guidance Provided by Spirit.

My Seven Days of Silence

I’ve signed up for meditation classes where I spent significant time in silence. I’ve attended retreats where silence was a part of the program. I planned for these times, understood the purpose and made sure my family knew the schedule. I made sure everything was neat, tidy and effective.

I’m finishing up a seven day period that has been anything but planned, neat or tidy. Has it been effective? 

Try mind blowing. Life changing. I’ve experienced pain, healing and an honest to God epiphany. Yeah, I’d say it’s been effective.

Early last week I returned from a trip to Toronto with what I thought was severe laryngitis and flu like symptoms. I was diagnosed with a particularly nasty “bug” that sometimes effects travelers and was given heavy duty antibiotics with steroids. And ordered to be on “total voice rest” for seven days. SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT TALKING. This seemed impossible but since I could barely speak anyway and was in such pain, I agreed. I had to teach in 12 days and couldn’t have my voice compromised long term.

I believe physical symptoms are a result of internal issues and I tried to go to work figuring out my psyche. I was too ill. I decided to surrender to the experience and asked for guidance. I got it.

The first few days I was weak and stayed mostly in bed or on the couch. I began to notice a few things. Because I couldn’t speak, people stopped talking to me. I could text and had a small wipe off board to communicate with my husband, but he even stopped talking to me besides an occasional, “How do you feel? Need anything?” By the afternoon of day three, he took me for a ride to get out of the house and we went to a couple stores and to dinner. I had a note from my doctor that stated “total voice rest” that I’d show to store clerks or people we saw. To a person, when they realized I couldn’t speak they stopped talking to me. They’d gesture the way I had to or simply nod. What was THAT about?

My daughter tried a video chat with my beloved 15-month-old grandson but he was confused and uninterested when his GiGi couldn’t speak. He’s used to my voice and didn’t seem to connect to my image on the screen without sound. I missed talking with my kids and my cat was downright traumatized. Evidently, I usually talk A LOT.

My dear sister did her best to cheer me up with a visit on day four. We’d both been on trips and as she did her best to talk to me, it was obvious our normal communication style was severely altered. Bless her heart, she stayed for several hours as she told me about her trip and tried to interpret my gestures and the short hand notes I wrote on my board. We laughed, and I felt better.

The magic of the experience came as a result of looking at the events that had transpired in Toronto and keeping a small journal of my thoughts and feelings during the seven days. I did understand the emotional reason for my illness but didn’t yet realize the gifts that were in store.

As a result of not speaking, I felt terribly isolated and alone. I felt like no one understood or was “listening” to me. I felt like a burden to my husband, although he never did anything to insinuate that. It was all in my head.

I realized something. While this experience was only seven days for me, millions of people live with the feelings of isolation and loneliness every day, sometimes their entire lives. 

That realization was a physical blow to my heart. I felt it. Who could live this way? I saw the image of someone I know who recently took their own life. For a split second, I felt the agonizing pain of this person before the final event. Suddenly, in my mind’s eye I saw a cascade of pictures…elderly, refugees, prisoners, struggling parents, children in abusive situations, addicts, the terminally ill. The images went on and on. I couldn’t get them out of my head. 

I realized each of these haunted images were children of God, just like me and those I love. Suddenly they seemed more real. A part of me. Since I believe that we are all part of the energy of an intelligent Universe, of course they are each part of me. And part of you.

So what do we do? I asked that question and heard the answer very plainly, “Be love.” 

How does that work? Be the love you are. Live from your divine core. Start by being more kind and loving to yourself, your family and everyone and everything you encounter. Open your heart to hear divine guidance and you’ll always know what to do. Read about divine love, study it and talk to others about how to implement this in your own life. The divine intelligence within you knows exactly what to do. I was shown that by creating these “ripples of love” we can absolutely change our world.

Can these individual actions ease the pain of the people I saw? It’s a start.

I’m amazed by the changes and insights this quiet week has “gifted” to me. I know this level of understanding couldn’t have come about without the silence that allowed me to learn these vital “heart lessons.”

On day six of my seven days, this passage began my daily reading from Eileen Caddy’s “Opening Doors Within:”

“Every soul needs to withdraw from the world from time to time 

to find the peace which passes understanding.”

Perfect. Now to do my best to “be love.” Join me.

Three Reasons to Be Optimistic Right NOW

I’m always surprised when a quick note on Facebook gets more attention than I expected. Maybe it’s because often my “well thought out” topics are more ego driven than I’d like to admit and the “quick posts” often come from a deeper part of me. The part that really knows what’s going on. The same divine part that’s in you.

One of those posts came through a few weeks ago. I remember that morning being aware I “needed” to post on my business page when this popped into my head and I quickly typed:

Three reasons to be optimistic:

1. You're alive.
2. You're responsible for the life you create.
3. The tools/resources/opportunities you need are within your reach NOW.

Go inside and ask the divine intelligence within you for guidance. Keep asking, be open to answers and ALLOW the divine to work through you.

Yes, it can be that simple! I've found that when my life was the hardest, my thinking greatly contributed to my difficult experience.

There's always another way. Your ego loves the drama, your divine self loves to see you happy and peaceful. Which inner voice will you listen to?

So why did people respond to this? Maybe it resonated with a current personal issue or maybe it reinforced their own beliefs. Here’s a few more thoughts on each point:

1) You’re alive. 
No matter the physical or emotional condition, humans on some level know where there’s life, there’s hope. There’s a chance to change something of consequence even when the only thing that can be changed are your thoughts about the situation. THAT changes everything. When your perspective changes, your experience changes.

2) You’re responsible for the life you create.
Here come those pesky thoughts again! While you may not believe you create issues such as family drama or serious situations like tragic accidents, natural disasters or acts of war, you are totally responsible for how you react to everything in your life. Your thoughts about life situations – big and small – create the quality of your life. Will you grow from challenges or stay a victim of circumstance? Do you want a more peaceful, happy life? Are you willing to stretch out of your “comfort zone” to find new ways to be in the world regardless of the situation? It’s not easy. 

I find encouragement from the words etched on a favorite bracelet: “If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.” These words remind me that I must change my thoughts and actions to create anything new in my life.

3) The tools/resources/opportunities you need are within your reach NOW.
When you can relax into this truth, everything changes. EVERYTHING. Just like MacGyver can think his way out of any dangerous situation, so can you. And you don’t need fancy science tricks to do it (but that IS super cool). While your ego thrives on fear, stress and overwhelm the true part of you, call it your soul, divine self, highest self or whatever you believe it to be, knows only peace, love and joy. Even in the most brutal situations, it is possible to tap into your divine core for guidance and to find the peace you crave. 

Remember this: the divine intelligence that is in you knows exactly what to do. Use prayer or meditation to go inside and ask that part of you, the part connected to all there is, for direction. I often ask, “what is my next best step here?” Sometimes I have to ask more than once. Or several times. That ego is strong when I’m fearful. But it’s not stronger than love. Love is the energy that will manifest in new ideas, a call from an old friend with an exciting opportunity or a new workshop on just the topic you need. Whatever you need to go forward will be provided when you allow divine intelligence to direct your actions.

And yes, that divine part of you is present in everyone else on the planet. While it’s tempting, and sometimes feels justified, in pointing out when others are acting from ego, it’s not your job to judge others. You’re responsible for your own thoughts and actions. Period. Trust that everything is happening for your ultimate good and, just maybe, the actions of others are giving you an opportunity to choose a more loving life.

Yeah, I know that doesn’t seem fair, but I didn’t make up this life thing. I just know life is better when I understand, accept and act from these truths:

1) I’m alive.
2) I’m responsible for the life I create.
3) The tools/resources/opportunities I need are within my reach NOW.

Here’s Your Sign

I believe in signs. I mean Divine signs. From God, Universe, Source – whatever you call the intelligent, creative energy that makes the flowers bloom, causes the ocean tides to come in and out and organizes the solar systems.

And I believe you can ask for Divine guidance and have your answer delivered by signs. You just have to pay attention to what’s happening around you and be open to receive.

A few months ago, I was working on a proposal to speak at a large conference and remember thinking to myself, “I’d love to have a little help with this from someone who already does keynote speeches to large groups.” Within days I had heard the name of a lady who does just that in the Northern Virginia area. Not once, but her name came up in a couple conversations. Hmmm…

I sent her a Facebook message and got a response the same day. After an initial call, I hired her to help me with my project. It’s a perfect partnership! She’s EXACTLY what I needed and I became aware of her EXACTLY when I needed someone with her expertise. Good thing I pay attention to signs.

Some people will say this was a happy coincidence or perhaps a case of serendipity, but I know a Divine sign when I see or hear it. And I’m not the only one.

I had a new client who had been referred to me by a coworker. Although we’d had a lovely conversation on the phone when she made her initial appointment, this lady was nervous. She’d never had any type of coaching before and as she left her office to drive to our first session, her nerves were getting the best of her.

She told me she was scared and wondered if she was doing the right thing. As she was stuck in traffic, she said out loud in her car, “What should I do? Please give me a sign.”

As she finished uttering those words, a utility van in the lane next to her moved up so she could clearly see the advertising sign on the bus behind it. On the sign was the photo of a kind lady staring at her wearing a phone headset. The huge headline read DIANE CAN HELP.

“As soon as I saw that sign, I knew I had to keep our appointment!” she told me as she recounted the story. I’m so glad she noticed the sign and started her healing journey that very afternoon. She was able to release traumas from her past and create a new life complete with a job she loved and a healthy romantic relationship.

Maybe not all Divine signs are quite that direct…or maybe we’re too busy to notice?