Oh, SHIFT!

This is a photo of me last week on beautiful Hilton Head Island, SC, walking on the pier outside the condo my husband and I called home for a few days. Our trip was sunny, hot and filled with adventures to new restaurants and visits to familiar places we've loved on past vacations here.

After a very busy few weeks for me, I realized this trip gave me an important...shift. A shift in perspective. I love the mountains. My heart swells every time I drive the curvy roads at home, pop a hill and get a glimpse of my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I love their strength, beauty and the idea that they've witnessed so many generations of life in our area.

My husband loves the beach. We went to Hilton Head to celebrate his birthday and I decided to use the first principle of my Be Love Principles during the week to help adjust to my temporary beach environment. That one says "Greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda." And I did my best to do just that.

I opened my heart to every person we met at the condo complex where we stayed, each salesperson and waitstaff we encountered and anyone we met on our travels. And I didn't stop there.

I greeted the ocean with an open heart. The tiny crabs we saw scurrying along the beach, the noisy seagulls, the hundreds of colorful butterflies and thousands of blooming flowers were all greeted with an open heart.

So were the mosquitoes that bit me, that driver who flipped me the finger after I may, or may not, have accidentally cut him off on the highway and the skin rash on my face that wouldn't go away. I did my best to greet everyone and everything with an open heart, without an agenda.

To me, "without an agenda" means without expectation or attachment. Not always easy to do, but I've been working on this for a while now. And I see the results.

When I'm able to "greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda" I'm genuinely happier, more peaceful and free from the stress and worry I've experience for much of my life. I could even see the actions of my dear husband that would have normally "triggered" me, didn't have the usual effect. WTF? (That stands for "well that's funny" in case you didn't know.)

I realized I've experienced an authentic shift in perspective. And I like it!

So what is the shift? Think of it as seeing from a slightly different angle. That's all it takes to see things with a fresh perspective. On the second day of a recent workshop I was facilitating, I had the participants stand up, shift four chairs over to their left and sit down. You should have seen their faces! Several mentioned parts of the room, outside view or desk area they hadn't noticed before. Each was a little more awake, aware of where they were in the room. Just that little shift had changed their perspective.

For me the shift has allowed me to more clearly see my life and everything in it. It's an increasing awareness, at the heart level, of the divine love in everything. EVERYTHING. I've intellectually known this concept for years, but practicing this principle has brought my understanding to a true mind-body-spirit level. Amazing.

 So how will you shift to create a life you can love even more? I guarantee your investment in time and effort are well worthwhile. Check out some ideas here on my Be Love Principles website.

I'll see you on the beach...

How I Found Real Connection Without the Internet

I'm just back from teaching a weekend workshop on my Be Love Principles for Unity of DC held at the beautiful Capon Springs Resort in West Virginia. This gorgeous family friendly resort is nestled in the mountains where traditional modern communication is tricky at best. It's a rare opportunity to "unplug" and truly relax and unwind in a stunning environment.

OK, I admit it.

It took me a minute to "unplug." While there were ways to communicate with the outside world (leave a message at the front desk or find one of a few hots spots on the resort campus) I came to see one of the most refreshing aspects of the weekend was simply surrendering to the circumstances. Little did I suspect the beautiful gifts that would follow.

I noticed a few things over the weekend.

Our group ate all meals together and the conversation was varied, deep, fun and fascinating as I opened freely to strangers and they opened to me. We swapped stories, exchanged recipes, commented on the endless supply of food and greeted other guests as they walked by our table. We sang "Happy Birthday" to the lady one table over as the staff wheeled out a cake and uttered "awww" in unison as an adorable toddler scampered by. I can't remember a more enjoyable time as each group member shared their unique story and life perspective. Only later did I realize no one was glancing at a phone or waiting for an email that inevitably would have disrupted the flow of friendly communication. I like this no phone thing at the table. (Wonder if my family members are reading this?)

I also noticed what happened when I surrendered to the quiet. At night with no TV or phone, I rested in my bed and could clearly hear the trickling sounds of the mountain stream behind my building, right off the back deck. The evening air was cool and crisp and I found myself easily able to relax into the quiet. I was surprised by this since I was dealing with a strained back and was physically uncomfortable. The sound of the water did help relax me and I noticed I was able to think about the workshop I was presenting in new ways. A different view on my work was able to emerge thanks to the quiet.

I've meditated for years so I'm used to the quiet. This was different. And amazing.

As the workshop sessions progressed, I felt free from the modern burden of constant communication. I had certainly come prepared to teach, but I found myself in a new sense of flow with the material. I was able, more than ever before, to allow the intelligent, creative and expansive energy of Love flow through me as I spoke to the group. When I was surprised by an attendee's question (this was an amazing and engaged group!) I was able to flow with a response. Could the presentation have been better? Certainly! And it will be as I incorporate my notes into the next class. 

As we ended the weekend, the pastor brought me into the middle of the room and the participants surrounded me for a final blessing and healing. It was powerful! I am so grateful to the amazing men and women who attended, to the spirit of Love that guided me and to the lessons I remembered about "unplugging" so I can "connect" to what's real.

The Power of Your Thoughts

This is it. The key to a happier, more fulfilled life. 

YOU hold the power to change your experience in every aspect of your life by changing the way you think about it.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Not your jerk boss, cranky kid or some politician in D.C.

YOU.

Controlling your thoughts doesn’t mean you escape life challenges; it means you are equipped to move through them with more grace and ease. Let me explain.

Recently, an accident occurred that injured a family member. When I first heard the news, I was scared, and my mind went to the worst possible scenario as I waited for the details to slowly emerge. I made an important discovery in the following days:

While we can’t change the trauma, succumbing to drama is optional.

I realized my fearful thoughts did not change the facts or the outcome. Although many saw my fear as “justified,” “natural” and even encouraged legal retribution, none of that helped me feel better or allowed me to lovingly support other family members. 

For me, only one thing helped.

I went back to the Be Love Principles and asked the divine within:

• How can I greet everyone involved with an open heart, without an agenda?

• Show me the divine essence in this situation.

• Teach me how to forgive everyone involved quickly, completely and unconditionally.

• Remind me that everyone is part of the light of All.

I did my best, minute by minute, to be the presence of love and stay in that space as we moved through the situation. I did it for me and my family. It wasn’t easy and, at times, I failed to stay centered in love. It happened whenever I fell back into fear, anger and overwhelm. Once I became aware of those thoughts, I went back to love as quickly as I could. Full disclosure, I wasn’t the most popular with some people who didn’t understand my perspective. They thought I was “naive,” “nuts” or in denial. 

But I remembered the truth. I am responsible for my thoughts and how I react to life. 

Here’s an important point: I allowed myself to feel my feelings as they came up. Feelings that are ignored simply go underground then resurface later. I’ve learned that too! The difference here is that I felt my feelings then consciously decided how I would think about them. I could continue to fuel the fear, or I could choose to be the presence of love, as much as I could, throughout the challenge.

I’m grateful to add our situation has had a much better outcome than I first feared. All is well. And I understand that while Life wil certainly present more tough days in the future, my thoughts will dictate my experience of both life’s joys and sorrows. 

I choose to experience both with love.

P.S. Check out this episode of “Heart-Centered Success with Diane L Haworth” on “The Power of Your Thoughts”  for deeper insights on the topic and for more on the Be Love Principles, visit www.BeLovePrinciples.org.