3 Reasons Why Gratitude Changes Everything

I firmly believe in the statement above! Why? Here's my take:

#1 - When you look for things in your life to be grateful for, the good seems to multiply. Although I didn't understand it at the time, learning to be aware of what I was truly grateful for on a daily basis was a key element in turning my life around at a very dark time in my past. My friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Holden, expresses it this way: "Before we practice gratitude, we appear to be in the dark with very little to be grateful for. Once we begin, a new light dawns, sometimes a brilliant light, a light as bright as heaven itself." That's exactly how it happened for me. Deep in my heart I'd always believed Love ruled the world even though I wasn't allowing myself to experience that during this rough time. I had read a way to retrain your brain to see the "good" in life was to begin a gratitude practice. And so I began and the result was magic! The more I consciously decided to look for at least three things a day to be thankful for, I experienced - even in challenging times - an awareness of the love and goodness that surround me. All I had to do was open my eyes and heart! #2 - Gratitude is a doorway to the divine.  Nothing has been more humbling than an increased awareness of the divine force that coordinates all the good that is constantly available to me and everyone else.  "Gratitude is a sacred space where you allow and know a force greater than your ego is always at work and always available." - Dr. Wayne Dyer A thankful heart opens you up to accept the divine love that is always available, as Wayne Dyer says in the quote above. Why is that important? Because the energy of that divine love is intelligent, creative and expansive. If it can make the tide go in and out, the flowers bloom and create entire galaxies it can gracefully move you through any life challenge you'll ever experience. Trust that divine love is more powerful than your ego and allow it to guide your actions to experience real love in your life. #3 - Gratitude makes life more fun and fulfilling.  Deciding to live from a grateful heart just makes life more FUN! You feel more satisfied, playful, energized and creative in so many ways. Why? Because love expands all good in your life! This quote from author Melody Beattie explains is well: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." Who doesn't want a happier life with more joy and fulfillment? A consistent daily gratitude practice does that and more. And it doesn't cost a thing. All you need is a willingness to begin. Love does the rest.

Oh, SHIFT!

This is a photo of me last week on beautiful Hilton Head Island, SC, walking on the pier outside the condo my husband and I called home for a few days. Our trip was sunny, hot and filled with adventures to new restaurants and visits to familiar places we've loved on past vacations here.

After a very busy few weeks for me, I realized this trip gave me an important...shift. A shift in perspective. I love the mountains. My heart swells every time I drive the curvy roads at home, pop a hill and get a glimpse of my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I love their strength, beauty and the idea that they've witnessed so many generations of life in our area.

My husband loves the beach. We went to Hilton Head to celebrate his birthday and I decided to use the first principle of my Be Love Principles during the week to help adjust to my temporary beach environment. That one says "Greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda." And I did my best to do just that.

I opened my heart to every person we met at the condo complex where we stayed, each salesperson and waitstaff we encountered and anyone we met on our travels. And I didn't stop there.

I greeted the ocean with an open heart. The tiny crabs we saw scurrying along the beach, the noisy seagulls, the hundreds of colorful butterflies and thousands of blooming flowers were all greeted with an open heart.

So were the mosquitoes that bit me, that driver who flipped me the finger after I may, or may not, have accidentally cut him off on the highway and the skin rash on my face that wouldn't go away. I did my best to greet everyone and everything with an open heart, without an agenda.

To me, "without an agenda" means without expectation or attachment. Not always easy to do, but I've been working on this for a while now. And I see the results.

When I'm able to "greet everyone with an open heart, without an agenda" I'm genuinely happier, more peaceful and free from the stress and worry I've experience for much of my life. I could even see the actions of my dear husband that would have normally "triggered" me, didn't have the usual effect. WTF? (That stands for "well that's funny" in case you didn't know.)

I realized I've experienced an authentic shift in perspective. And I like it!

So what is the shift? Think of it as seeing from a slightly different angle. That's all it takes to see things with a fresh perspective. On the second day of a recent workshop I was facilitating, I had the participants stand up, shift four chairs over to their left and sit down. You should have seen their faces! Several mentioned parts of the room, outside view or desk area they hadn't noticed before. Each was a little more awake, aware of where they were in the room. Just that little shift had changed their perspective.

For me the shift has allowed me to more clearly see my life and everything in it. It's an increasing awareness, at the heart level, of the divine love in everything. EVERYTHING. I've intellectually known this concept for years, but practicing this principle has brought my understanding to a true mind-body-spirit level. Amazing.

 So how will you shift to create a life you can love even more? I guarantee your investment in time and effort are well worthwhile. Check out some ideas here on my Be Love Principles website.

I'll see you on the beach...

How I Found Real Connection Without the Internet

I'm just back from teaching a weekend workshop on my Be Love Principles for Unity of DC held at the beautiful Capon Springs Resort in West Virginia. This gorgeous family friendly resort is nestled in the mountains where traditional modern communication is tricky at best. It's a rare opportunity to "unplug" and truly relax and unwind in a stunning environment.

OK, I admit it.

It took me a minute to "unplug." While there were ways to communicate with the outside world (leave a message at the front desk or find one of a few hots spots on the resort campus) I came to see one of the most refreshing aspects of the weekend was simply surrendering to the circumstances. Little did I suspect the beautiful gifts that would follow.

I noticed a few things over the weekend.

Our group ate all meals together and the conversation was varied, deep, fun and fascinating as I opened freely to strangers and they opened to me. We swapped stories, exchanged recipes, commented on the endless supply of food and greeted other guests as they walked by our table. We sang "Happy Birthday" to the lady one table over as the staff wheeled out a cake and uttered "awww" in unison as an adorable toddler scampered by. I can't remember a more enjoyable time as each group member shared their unique story and life perspective. Only later did I realize no one was glancing at a phone or waiting for an email that inevitably would have disrupted the flow of friendly communication. I like this no phone thing at the table. (Wonder if my family members are reading this?)

I also noticed what happened when I surrendered to the quiet. At night with no TV or phone, I rested in my bed and could clearly hear the trickling sounds of the mountain stream behind my building, right off the back deck. The evening air was cool and crisp and I found myself easily able to relax into the quiet. I was surprised by this since I was dealing with a strained back and was physically uncomfortable. The sound of the water did help relax me and I noticed I was able to think about the workshop I was presenting in new ways. A different view on my work was able to emerge thanks to the quiet.

I've meditated for years so I'm used to the quiet. This was different. And amazing.

As the workshop sessions progressed, I felt free from the modern burden of constant communication. I had certainly come prepared to teach, but I found myself in a new sense of flow with the material. I was able, more than ever before, to allow the intelligent, creative and expansive energy of Love flow through me as I spoke to the group. When I was surprised by an attendee's question (this was an amazing and engaged group!) I was able to flow with a response. Could the presentation have been better? Certainly! And it will be as I incorporate my notes into the next class. 

As we ended the weekend, the pastor brought me into the middle of the room and the participants surrounded me for a final blessing and healing. It was powerful! I am so grateful to the amazing men and women who attended, to the spirit of Love that guided me and to the lessons I remembered about "unplugging" so I can "connect" to what's real.

How to Stay Present in a Crazy World!

I'm not one to contradict Buddha...but I sometimes struggle with the statement above. Do you?

I've studied ancient spiritual wisdom as well as the teachings of modern mystics and they all mention the value of "being present." I understand the concept. To me, being present is having your full focus, attention, thoughts and feelings on the person or situation right there, in the moment you are experiencing.

Yeah, that's easy enough to do. 

Not. Even. Close.

I mean, come on...do those mystics deal with family issues, car accidents, health scares and financial problems? These are just a few of the real-life events clients talked with me about last week. They’re facing challenges and doing their best to live from their own divine core while they face the uncertainly of life as a human.

That’s exactly what mystics do. They understand our challenge is to be anchored in love while we live our daily lives. Why? The rewards include less stress, more confidence, a feeling of being in flow with life and feeling “on purpose.” Add to that a happier, more joyful life experience, a sense of oneness and desire to be in service all while enjoying a sense of deep peace. And there’s more…people who consistently live in the present moment have described feeling “more freedom.”

I know when I’m focused on the present moment, I’m free of stress created by my relentless rehashing of the past and free from worry about the future. That’s when I’m best able to align with my inner wisdom, and fully receive the guidance that leads me to the life I’m here to live. I’m guided to love, to service and back to the truest part of me.

Is that easy? While I believe it can be, it hasn’t been for me.

I have a long way to go to consistently be present and yet I’m daily reaping the rewards of my efforts. A life dedicated to love is far happier than the one I used to live that seemed to be dedicated to stress, overwhelm and worry. Go figure…

If you want to be more present, here are a few tips to try:

·       Commit to a daily spiritual practice: I recommend starting the day with what I call “the 3 M’s” to incorporate mind, body and spirit. Total time spent is up to you…start with a few minutes on each and work up to a more substantial routine. Yes, you have time for this:

.1.     Meditation:  Even starting with five to ten minutes a day can make a huge difference in your ability to feel calm, happy and more present in your life. If you’re new to meditation, check out free apps like CALM or INSIGHT TIMER.

.2.     Motivate: Turn off the news, put down your phone and read or listen to something that inspires and motivates you. I start the day with the daily lesson from A Course in Miracles plus time reading an inspiring book.

.3.     Move: Stretch, do a few yoga poses, walk or go up and down the stairs to bring awareness to your body first thing in the morning.

·       Ask questions when you feel overwhelmed or stressed in a situation. Questions could include:

.1.     What do I really know to be true, right now, in this moment? Is that really true?

.2.     What’s it like to be me in this situation at this instant? What would it be like to be a happier, more peaceful and trusting version of me right now?

.3.     Where are my feet? (I love this one that I learned from my mentor, Robert Holden. It brings me out of your head and back into my body every time.)

·       Get back to nature: Any time it’s possible, take a mindful walk in nature. Relax. Breathe. If that’s not possible, bring fresh flowers into the house or office, pet your cat or take a break and look at nature photos. All will help shift your brain chemistry and bring you into the present. Whatever you do, be mindful of the activity and give it your full attention and focus.

·       Heart Breath: My number one way to be present is to imagine breathing in and out of my heart space. I teach clients to breathe love in the back of their heart and radiate love out of the front. Start with at least five repetitions.

There are few things in life as sweet as finding your balance, experiencing joy in small moments and feeling at peace about the past and future. Learning to live in the present moment does this and more. Still need a bit of help? Ask Love to guide you.

Dear Ego…I QUIT!

It hit me a while ago. I figured out why my life doesn’t work the way I know it “should” in certain scenarios.

Yes, I know all experience is part of our learning in this life and I respect that. I’ve grown exponentially from past events and both understand and appreciate their value.

But come on.

I recognize that, sometimes, I do something kinda stupid. Period.

Not because I’m ill informed, unprepared or because Mercury is in the dreaded Retrograde. I realized I do dumb things that were reactions to fear, stress or feelings of overwhelm. All territories of the ego.

So I quit.

I quit letting fear run my business, my health, my relationships. I decided I no longer wanted to consciously allow my ego to run my life or my business. I decided to, even more fully than ever before, submit to the intelligent, creative and expansive divine love within me.

If Love/Universe/Spirit/God can create galaxies, running the details of my life should be a piece of cake. I decided to be fully guided by Love. To be all in. I got out my journal and on the left side I wrote this letter:

Dear Ego,

I hereby immediately resign my position as your employee. I freely give up the worry, stress and overwhelm associated with my position.

I appreciate the learning I’ve received under your tutelage and recognize it has enabled me to see we are no longer a “good fit.”

While I’m sure we’ll see each other from time to time, please know I am totally and eternally in service to Love.

Diane L Haworth

So that felt AMAZING and I didn’t stop there. Next came my acceptance letter to Love:

Dear Love,

It is with much delight, relief and utter trust that I accept and fully commit to being in your service.

I commit to:

·       Loving myself

·       Loving all others

·       Being guided as you direct and taking action (whether I understand it or not)

·       Dedicating my life in service to Love

I am excited to walk in the path as you lead me.

Diane L Haworth

I felt fantastic! I had effectively “fired” the confused, scared and ineffective part of me and fully committed to the part that understands my entire life plan and how to live with the most joy, peace and freedom.

Although I had no preconceived idea of what would happen next – remember I’d just committed to being fully guided – miracles started to appear. Unforeseen opportunities, gifts, delightful surprises…all began, and continue, to appear.

Why?

Because I finally got out of the way. By inviting and allowing Love to lead I’m finding life is unfolding in beautiful ways I could never imagine.

Tired of living in the chaos of a life led by fear and your ego? Go get out your journal and start writing….

Exploring the Moon and Beyond...

On July 20, 2019 the world celebrates the 50^th anniversary of American Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon…a first for mankind.

I remember the day well.

My parents had piled my brother, sister and me into the back of our station wagon and driven over 2,000 miles to visit my dad’s brother’s family in Worthington, Minnesota. Coming from a small Virginia town, summers in Minnesota seemed magical to us kids. We looked forward to Aunt Elna’s cooking, Uncle Bill’s hugs, hand me down clothes from our older, “super-cool cousins” Jane and Jill, time at the lakeside park and running from the gigantic Minnesota misquotes. I loved all our visits, but that trip in July 1969 holds special significance.

“You kids come here; you need to see this!” I heard my Uncle Bill’s urgent call to us from across the house. We bounded down the two steps from the kitchen, through the hall, past the master bedroom and into the family room to see “the adults,” staring at the television, chatting nervously. We didn’t know exactly what was going on, but it seemed important. The grownups had been watching the Apollo 11 coverage for days, but they were really into it now. “This is IT,” they said. Whatever IT was.

I sat down on the floor in front of the group, wanting to appear interested and much more grown up than my tender 12 years. As we took our seats, and got quiet, we could sense the weight of what we were about to see. I remember my dad saying, “Settle down! You’re going to remember this for the rest of your lives.”

That seemed a bit dramatic, but I trusted my dad. Turns out, he was right.

I remember the afternoon sun streaming into the room as we strained to see the grainy picture on the TV, perched in the corner in front of the built-in bookshelves. I can still hear the soothing voice of Walter Cronkite as he described every detail of Armstrong’s descent down the exterior ladder allowing him to be the first human to set foot on the moon. I remember the sense of wonder, excitement and accomplishment that spread throughout that beautiful, wood paneled family filled room. Mom and Aunt Elna were grinning, but it was the men I remember most.

My dad and Uncle Bill, both proud WWII vets, were beaming with joy, relief and an unparalleled sense of American pride I never saw before. My aunt and uncle lived in a close-knit neighborhood and when we went outside to play later, I remember it seemed like everyone on the block, across the street and yes, even the entire town, were lost in a united celebration!

It’s hard to describe the enormity of this event to people born after the mid 1970’s. To my knowledge, this was the first live television event of it’s kind and a whooping 94% of American households with TV tuned in, together, to experience this amazing feat.

We were united as Americans and we were united as a planet as others around the globe celebrated with us.

1969 was a big summer. I remember it as the summer of the Manson murders, the height of the Black Panther movement, the scandal at Chappaquiddick, the summer of love at Woodstock and Nixon’s first year in office. It was a scary time to be a child and I often felt unsafe. I didn’t know what would happen next. The daily news was dark.

On Saturday afternoon in my beloved aunt and uncle’s family room that July 20^th day in 1969 I saw a glimmer of hope in the eyes of my parents. It made me hopeful for a better future for all of us.

As we mark this 50th anniversary, I hope it’s the sense of unity, hope and shared adventure we remember most.

While our current issues seem overwhelming, if we can put a man on the moon, certainly we can unite to solve the problems facing us now.

I have an idea.

Let’s start with exploring the depths in the truest part of our own hearts.

As we look deeply within, we not only find that divine connection that is us, we find that it is what connects us all and makes us one.

That’s where the answers lie for this next evolution of human development.

How To Get Out of Your "Cage"

Yep, that’s me with my beautiful two-year-old grandson, Emory, posing inside a shark cage during a visit to the Virginia Living Museum in Newport News, Virginia. I had a fantastic day with my daughter, son-in-law and Emory as we explored this fabulous museum and enjoyed a weekend getaway to Williamsburg. My daughter and I were exchanging the dozens (OK, maybe dozens and dozens) of photos we’d taken and this one stood out.

Like many families, ours has been under stress lately and this mini vacation gave us the space to take a breath. Relax. Do something different. Have FUN.

As I looked at the photos of our adventure, this one stopped me in my tracks. I suddenly understood a truth I’d forgotten in the stress of the past few weeks. It was so apparent as I gazed at this picture.   

The stress we’d been experiencing was a “cage” created by our thoughts. Yes, we’d lived through a tough family situation, the trauma was real. However, as I looked at this photo, I realized that after we acknowledged and dealt with the event, only our thoughts kept the drama of the situation alive.

Emory and I had walked through the open side of this shark cage to take a goofy picture. And we walked out. Because he’s only a toddler, we walked in and out a few times.

Just like that shark cage, I realized I’d “walked in and out” of the cage I’d created in my mind a few times. More than once, I’d forgotten the side was open and I could walk out of this cage anytime I changed the way I thought about the situation. I realized I could get out of my "cage" anytime I wanted.

The things you learn on vacation….