Workshop Surprise

This past weekend I attended an enneagram workshop held on the grounds of a Catholic retreat center. The workshop was amazing, but I got an unexpected education – and surprise - by observing a few of my fellow participants.

Our class consisted of mostly adult women, aged mid-twenties to nearly 80 years old. Four nuns were in our class and they taught me the most of all. They appeared to be two sets of friends, three well into their 70’s, and one probably in her late 60’s. They were absolutely remarkable.

Aging has been on my mind a lot lately. A LOT. Maybe that’s because of the birthday I just had, maybe it’s because my daughter will be 30 this year. I’ve been studying various sources detailing how an active, healthy brain can remain “functional” well into a person’s 90’s. I only hope aging researchers start to study these nuns!

What were they like? Feisty, fun, brilliant, intuitive, active, resilient, hysterical, curious, willing, passionate, open, adaptive, spiritual, grateful, humble - I’ve never been around such a fun group of women at any age! Growing up in a small Virginia town, I didn’t have much experience with nuns, but I certainly did have a few preconceived notions. I was wrong…at least about these women. I had the pleasure of working with a few of them during class exercises and was delighted, and enlightened, by their quick wit and keen insight. They were so much fun! It was a lovely surprise to witness them in action.

I was also wrong about how someone was doomed to age. Despite my research, I witnessed most of my family experience failing health and decreased mental acuity as they aged. While I’d read about “fully functioning” seniors, these nuns were proof!

I learned much about the enneagram during my workshop, but I learned far more about the long lasting effect of a positive, healthy outlook on life. I learned that the human spirit, intelligence and even our life essence certainly isn’t defined by the body that houses it.

Oops! I Did It Again….

Recently I was in Denver attending the Hay House I CAN DO IT conference. It was beyond awesome! Three days of incredible workshops, thousands of like-minded participants and the excitement of a new city all added to the uplifting messages being delivered by some of the most experienced spiritual authors on the planet. Everyone felt loved, supported and encouraged to consciously create the life that would support their highest dreams. I spent the weekend floating on a cloud of love….until I got knocked down to reality.

It was early Saturday afternoon and I had just come from a workshop given by one of my favorites, Dr. Robert Holden. In his humorous style, Robert had reminded us that a key way to enjoy life is to be fully in it. And the way to be fully in it is to stay in the present moment. His message reiterated what I’d heard earlier from Dr. Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson and Dr. Christiane Northrup. I knew they were right. I taught this principle to my coaching clients and even gave them instructions on how to do it.

Just when I thought, “I got this,” I remembered my mind had been wandering a bit during the conference. I was scheduled to do my first national book signing event later that day and I was a tad nervous. Maybe I was missing something? What if I wasn’t fully present to this entire experience and missed a tidbit critical to my spiritual development? My frantic mind was racing now.

“Pull yourself together, girl,” I thought as I left a break out session and headed to the main convention hall.

“Be present. Be present to it all!” I told myself as I walked the cavernous hallways toward my destination.

I began to walk deliberately, feeling the ground beneath my feet.

I looked into the smiling faces of the other participants, watching their expressions and seeing the true beauty reflected in each one. I looked at the colors that surrounded me in the art displayed in the center and in the clothes and jewelry worn by the people I passed.

I listened to the sounds of laughter and heard snippets of excited conversations as people shared stories with each other.

I smelled burgers, pizza and fresh juices offered by the on-site vendors.

I was determined to BE in the moment and experience everything. But I missed something.

I missed the sign that said “Men” as I mistakenly wandered into the men’s room. I had been very focused on feeling my feet at the time and being fully present to my body. Wish I’d been a bit more aware of where I was going.

I was looking down as I marched into the restroom and heard a weird splashing sound. I looked up to see the back of a gentleman hunched over a urinal. OMG!

In that moment, I was fully present! All my senses became hyper active as I quickly exited the area. I felt my cheeks getting red as I started to laugh at myself.

The refrain of the old Brittany Spears song played in my head, “Oops, I did it again.” My ego was so determined to be in the moment, that I failed to allow the Divine part of me to simply be and enjoy the experience.

The lesson wasn’t lost on me. Sometimes I’m just too much “in my head.” Back to allowing myself to be more like a little child. They don’t have to “be determined” to be in the present moment. They just are.

Thanks, Mom!

On Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day here in the United States. While I sincerely appreciate the lovely Mother’s Days I’ve spent with my own children, one of my favorite Mother’s Day memories was all about my mom.

Mom passed in 2005 and my brother, sister and I struggled with her loss while we cared for my dad in the years that followed. One year I had an idea.

Even though mom was gone, we decided to celebrate her on Mother’s Day. We met at her grave early that Sunday morning and brought eight roses. One for each of us, and one for each grandchild. Then we went to IHop (Mom loved the breakfasts there) and proceeded to tell “Mom stories.” I had asked my brother and sister to come prepared to share their favorite memory and so our celebration began over omelets and waffles.

“She was ruthless when she smelled a good jewelry sale!” remembered my brother who was close to her equal in the “getting a great deal” department. He went on to recount hilarious stories about our dear mother, dragging an oxygen tank, proud of her handicap sticker that got us “the good parking spaces” at the mall, and how she was a wizard at finding just the right outfit for any occasion. She often wore “theme jewelry” for the holidays and our kids loved it. My children still smile each Halloween when they remember her dangling skeleton earrings. We laughed till we cried as the funny memories filled our hearts.

“She was the perfect mother for me,” my sister started as she explained why she believed this to be true. She shared memories of support, encouragement and love that my brother and I hadn’t been aware of. “Wow,” I thought. Mom really was good at being who each of us needed her to be.

Although I had my own mom stories that day, I know now that Mom’s gift to me was to challenge me in ways I never appreciated when I was young. I didn’t always feel supported. I didn’t always feel loved. But I know now that those challenges were part of the path I needed to walk to grow into the person I am now. I know now, as an adult, that she did the best she could. We both were together to learn from each other.

I hope she knows how much I learned and how much I now appreciate those lessons. Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who was the perfect mom for me.

Here’s Your Sign

I believe in signs. I mean Divine signs. From God, Universe, Source – whatever you call the intelligent, creative energy that makes the flowers bloom, causes the ocean tides to come in and out and organizes the solar systems.

And I believe you can ask for Divine guidance and have your answer delivered by signs. You just have to pay attention to what’s happening around you and be open to receive.

A few months ago, I was working on a proposal to speak at a large conference and remember thinking to myself, “I’d love to have a little help with this from someone who already does keynote speeches to large groups.” Within days I had heard the name of a lady who does just that in the Northern Virginia area. Not once, but her name came up in a couple conversations. Hmmm…

I sent her a Facebook message and got a response the same day. After an initial call, I hired her to help me with my project. It’s a perfect partnership! She’s EXACTLY what I needed and I became aware of her EXACTLY when I needed someone with her expertise. Good thing I pay attention to signs.

Some people will say this was a happy coincidence or perhaps a case of serendipity, but I know a Divine sign when I see or hear it. And I’m not the only one.

I had a new client who had been referred to me by a coworker. Although we’d had a lovely conversation on the phone when she made her initial appointment, this lady was nervous. She’d never had any type of coaching before and as she left her office to drive to our first session, her nerves were getting the best of her.

She told me she was scared and wondered if she was doing the right thing. As she was stuck in traffic, she said out loud in her car, “What should I do? Please give me a sign.”

As she finished uttering those words, a utility van in the lane next to her moved up so she could clearly see the advertising sign on the bus behind it. On the sign was the photo of a kind lady staring at her wearing a phone headset. The huge headline read DIANE CAN HELP.

“As soon as I saw that sign, I knew I had to keep our appointment!” she told me as she recounted the story. I’m so glad she noticed the sign and started her healing journey that very afternoon. She was able to release traumas from her past and create a new life complete with a job she loved and a healthy romantic relationship.

Maybe not all Divine signs are quite that direct…or maybe we’re too busy to notice?

Mishap or Miracle? It Could Just Be Perspective.

I love the way little vignettes in our everyday life can teach us the most powerful lessons. That’s what happened this past weekend when my brother Bill and I accompanied our sister Kathy on an overnight trip to Virginia Beach to celebrate her birthday.

We realized on the four hour drive down, this was the first time in decades that the three of us had been on a trip by ourselves without spouses, parents or children in tow. We reminisced about childhood vacations and reflected on our adult children and the life paths they’ve chosen. We shared secrets, insights and dreams for the future. We had a blast!

The past few years we’d been connected by the constant issues with our parent’s failing health. Now that those challenges were behind us, we deeply reconnected as siblings, and as friends who respect and love each other. It was a beautiful gift my sister gave us when she asked us to join her on this trip. I didn’t realize another gift was coming later in the day.

We met Bill’s son and his new bride at the Virginia Beach Aquarium (they live in the area) and had a beautiful day exploring the exhibits together. Although it was the end of March, the weather was cold and a bitter wind blew all day. The unusual temperatures couldn’t dampen our spirits, however, and we parted so we could check into our hotel then regroup with my nephew and his wife for dinner. That’s when my lesson arrived.

Bill, Kathy and I had been complaining all day about the unseasonable cold as we darted back and forth to the car. On the way to the restaurant in the late afternoon, Bill and Kathy were chatting in the front seat checking direction when I noticed something weird outside. It was snowing. It was very lightly snowing. IT WAS SNOWING ON MARCH 28TH IN VIRGINIA BEACH! Ok, it was flurries, but it was snow.

Quick to alert my siblings, I blurted out, “CRAP! It’s snowing! I can’t believe after the winter we’ve had we’re getting snow flurries here!” I might have sounded a tad dramatic, but I was weary from the months of snow we’d already endured this year.

“Oh…wow!” my sister gasped. “Snow on my birthday at the beach - it’s the perfect gift!”

Whaat? Was she nuts? How could Kathy think this was the perfect birthday gift? Then I got it.

My darling sister is much better than I am at embracing the unexpected. What I saw as a tragic mishap of nature, something I hadn’t expected on a spring beach trip, she saw as a miracle.

She saw magic in watching delicate flakes of snow dancing in the March wind against the backdrop of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. She celebrated the unexpected. She saw it as a gift, and delighted in it. She chose to see the snow as an “unexpected magical miracle.” As quickly as it began, the snow ended and Kathy enjoyed every minute of it.

“How much different would my life be if I choose to embrace the unexpected? If I look for the miracles in scenarios I can’t change?” I wondered to myself. “Wow,” I thought as I began to fully appreciate the ramifications of that slight change in perspective.

I was already grateful for this trip with my brother, sister and family on this special weekend. I hadn’t expected the gift of such an impactful life lesson.

Hmmm…just another one of the million things I thank my sister for.

I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Oprah, Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay are just a few of the many people who believe that what you think creates your reality. I certainly believe it! Chapter three of my book “How to Choose Love When You Just Want to Slap Somebody” is about just that. It’s entitled “You Are What You Think” and now I have a new story to prove it.

Twice in the last two weeks I’ve mentioned a magazine to people in casual conversation and, more specifically, a particular annual issue of that magazine. Both times I noted silently to myself that I’d like to see that issue when it comes out this spring. I felt strongly there was something I needed to see. Then I forgot all about it. That is until the specific issue of that specific magazine showed up in my mail box.

My husband brings the mail home from our post office in town. As I was going through the mail pile a couple days ago, I spotted it – the magazine! I don’t subscribe to it and was shocked to see in my hands not only the magazine I’d been talking about, but the exact annual issue I’d wanted to see.

“Whaaat?” I said out loud. “Where’d this come from?” I wondered. I noticed the magazine was addressed to someone whose post office box was directly underneath mine. “WOW! Just what I wanted!”

“OK, it’s a coincidence,” my husband said.

“The exact issue I was thinking about? I manifested this!” I countered.

I started flipping through the pages and asked silently, “Now what am I supposed to see here?” The magazine fell open to an article that answered a question I was having in my business. Yeah, a coincidence. Right. I can’t make this stuff up.

I copied the article and returned the magazine to the post office so it could be delivered to its owner. I’d already had the magazine delivered to me by the Universe.

At least that’s what I think.

We Bought a Zoo

Daddy and I enjoy the Zoorama train - 1960

Funny how little life events can bring back a flood of memories. I was in my watercolor class this week, beginning a new painting of a zebra. For some reason, I was pretty excited about this new subject matter, and didn’t understand why. Then I remembered. Back in 1960, we bought a zoo.

Well, it was kind of a zoo. It was called Zoorama located in New Market, Virginia and I remember Mom told me Dad and some friends invested in the tourist attraction in early 1960. According to an article I found from the March 6, 1960 Philadelphia Inquirer, it was an 80 acre park housing over 67 species from 23 countries that included a petting zoo and small circus display. (See the article here: http://bit.ly/18JXHKt) I don’t remember that. I just remember the magical place I’d go with my parents and little sister. I remember the animals. And I remember the train we’d ride in that circled the park. Because I was only about three, the details are faint, but the feelings are still strong.

I remember being genuinely surprised by new creatures I’d never seen, the feeling of being safe in my dad’s arms as I reached out to pet a camel, and of experiencing the bliss that only a young child, free from daily worries, can enjoy. It was pure magic for me. Not so for my parents.

I was told, decades later, that Zoorama was on Route 11 in Virginia’s beautiful Shenandoah Valley and attracted thousands of visitors from all over the east coast. That is until just a couple years after my parent’s invested, and the new interstate came through western Virginia. This forever changed the tourist traffic pattern which, according to my dad, “killed” the business. I recall we stopped going to visit the animals and Dad started spending a lot of time in meetings and on the phone. Mom told me later that he spent countless hours calling zoos and sanctuaries all over the country trying to find homes for the animals after the park closed to the public. Evidently, it was a huge financial mess for my parents. Only years later would Dad even talk about it.

When we were cleaning out my parent’s home after Dad moved to an assisted living facility, my brother, sister and I found a few Zoorama flyers and carefully packed them in a box and put it into storage with much of the rest of our childhood. No matter. Starting to paint this watercolor zebra brought the magic of this childhood memory back to me.

No, our family experience wasn’t like that of Matt Damon’s character in the 2011 movie We Bought a Zoo, but it was pretty cool.

 

Me at the Zoorama "petting zoo"